A Woman's View

Calling all happy mamas--or wannabes

If Mama's not happy, ain't nobody happy.

That folk saying is uncomfortably true. Our moods affect our husbands and our chidren.

Years ago I heard humorist Sam Levenson tell of his childhood and I remember it still. It went something like this. "When I was a kid our family was dirt poor, but none of us kids knew it. We all thought we must be rich. Otherwise why would our parents laugh so much and why would all our friends want to come to our place?"

According to her son, Mama Levenson gets the credit.

Like it or not, we wives are the barometer of our homes

Our Creator wired male and female differently, but most of us would agree that's true. We gals usually are more emotional, the nurturers. Let's call that difference what it is: A blessing. A privilege. We are people of influence, which has nothing to do with getting a paycheck.

Whatever our personality strengths and weaknesses, real life calls us to do what needs to be done. To give what would bless the people we love. To be who we're called to be in the present moment, day after day, no matter what else we must do.

Looking for personal space

Even in the midst of busy, happy family life we can get stuck on needing "space to breathe." All we can think of is our "want to" list.

Count me in that number. I know how feeling sorry for ourselves can turn sunny days into gloom in no time. Then it was easy to believe I always ended up doing (I thought) the most and giving (I thought) the most.

One day I wailed my, "Why me?" and distinctly heard a voice asking me back, "Why not you?"

That left me speechless.

I took a long look at the facts of my life. By the grace of God a good man loved me--and put up with my many flaws. I truly loved and respected him. With four healthy kids, enough to eat and a safe place to live, I knew I was blessed and I did thank God.

So why would I allow myself to be dragged down by issues with no more substance than a gnat?

Getting back to center

Here's what I've learned and know for sure. You and I create the world we--and our families--inhabit.

Our children, at least in their early years when their lifeviews are being formed, read us and look at life through our eyes. We have it in our power to give them a great gift, the in-their-bones conviction that the world is a happy place. That God loves them and watches over them.

How do we handle the inevitable hard times? Here's what helped me. My outlook began to change the day I promised myself--and God--I absolutely would not give in to self-pity anymore. No matter what, I would act as if life was good.

In the beginning that felt almost dishonest.

Bible truths can fill in the empty spaces

In the early stage of my experiment I had no proof it would work. I looked for reinforcement and turned to the Bible. I found Paul's letters, like Ephesians and Galatians, a good place to start.

Some verses really spoke to my heart, as well as quotes from good books. I wanted to hang onto them, so I wrote them down. Today I dig through those old notebooks like a gold miner working her claim.

Verses like this helped me immensely:

Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. -- Colossians 3:12

(Do I need to tell you I'm still growing in this one?)

Trust me, when Mama lives happy, everyone is happier. Even Mama.

Your comments, please.

Psychiatry or the Gospel, which one brings mental health? One psychiatrist gives his opinion

The debate never ends.

Hasn't psychiatry replaced religion? How can the Bible, written so long ago, be relevant for today?

After years of medical practice n American psychiatrist named J. T. Fisher offers an opinion.

"If you were to take the sum total of all authoritative articles ever written by the most qualified of psychologists and psychiatrists on the subject of mental hygiene, if you were to combine them and refine them and cleave out the excess verbiage, if you were to take the whole of the meat and none of the parsley, and if you were to have these unadulterated bits of pure scientific knowledge concisely expressed by the most capable of living poets, you would have an awkward and an incomplete summary of the Sermon on the Mount. And it would suffer immeasurably through comparison.

"For nearly two thousand years the Christian world has been holding in its hands the complete answer to its restless and fruitless yearning. Here rests the blueprint for successful human life, with optimum mental health and contentment."

-- A Few Buttons Missing: The Case Book of a Psychiatrist, by J.T. Fisher, M. D., and L.S. Hawley

Obviously, Dr. Fisher likes long sentences.

If we follow the thread through his comments, we find he doesn't waffle, but speaks in definite terms. (Kind of rpreferred efreshing, don't you think?)

He refers to Jesus' words in Matthew 5:1 to 7:29, commonly known as the Sermon on the Mount. We know Jesus spoke the words, but the exact location remains uncertain. Many scholars think the crowds following him were seated on the gently sloping hillside at the northwest corner of the Sea of Galilee.

Read through these verses and you'll find many favorites, including The Lord's Prayer. Familiar phrases used by believers and non-believers are here, too, like, "salt of the earth" and "let your light shine."

So if the good Dr. Fisher were handing out a prescription for staying sane in the midst of the craziness, he might tell us to read a few verses every day and then spend time thinking about them. Anyone can fill this prescription and take this medicine, with or without medical insurance. You see, there is no co-pay. It's been paid for in advance, for every human being, for all time.

Here are a couple of verses that address what seems to be the universal mood right now:

Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? . . . Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life? . . . Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. --Matthew 6:25, 27, 34

Let the debate rage on--and it will. All that matters is that each of us knows the One who spoke those words and offers us peace-in-the-midst.

Or as Dr. Fisher puts it, the One who holds out the answer to all our restless and fruitless yearning: Himself.

Now, here's a question for you: What are your favorite verses from the Sermon on the Mount? Why not share them in the Comments section?

Here's to filling our minds with the Good Stuff!

Lenore

(This post originally appeared July 15, 2010)

Top tip for stronger relationships: Examine your feedback

Maybe that sounds too simple. Or maybe it's that obvious.

Call it one of those "light bulb moments," at least for me. Successful businesses covet our good will, so they make us feel valued.

Isn't that what you and I want to feel in our personal lives?

What got me thinking about this stems from my recent online order for a couple of "used" electronic items from a major seller. Originally I specified "used, in good condition," then later did a rethink. I decided to amend my order and substitute the same item in "used, like new" condition." I knew that often means "open box" rather than used and returned, so the extra $20 would be well spent.

I called the seller's customer service, expecting another long, frustrating experience with a person who wouldn't understand what I was saying the first time around. Here's what I got instead.

• This representative listened attentively, with respect and courtesy. Without argument, he tried to accommodate my request, but at that point in the shipping process, he couldn't. He expressed his regrets that my call came too late in the process to make the change.
• Then he volunteered to call me the day after I received my order and check whether the original order turned out to be satisfactory.

I did not wait by the phone.

Surprise! "Kev" called when he said he would. When I reported the device did not function correctly and I needed to return it, he took action without being asked.

• He immediately Emailed me a pre-addressed, prepaid return address label for the defective device.
• When I assured him I wanted the same "like new" item I had requested earlier, he set up the order blank. All I had to do was fill in my charge card info after we hung up. "Kev" would check later to make sure my order went through okay.
• He specified one-day shipping--for free.

I was speechless.

The replacement product arrived as specified, even before the seller had time to receive the defective product I shipped back.

Obviously, this business grasps the importance of customer satisfaction because after each call I got a request for feedback.

Companies work hard to build relationships and good will. How about us?

Since then I've been asking myself, Do I let the people in my life know I value them?

It's fair to say, I think, that most of us would say "thank you" to a restaurant employee who refills our water glass. How often do we say it within our own families? A neighbor does a kindness like bringing in our garbage can when we're out for the day, but we don't bother to call or say thanks. A lonely aunt writes us and we "forget" to answer or call.

We assume the people who love us will help us out and love us the same, even if we take them for granted. But who among us wants to be taken for granted? Not me!

Someone said we all wear an invisible sign that reads, "Please tell me I matter."

Still, old habits are hard to break. Where will we find our motivation? As usual, Jesus said it best, this time in Luke 6:31, in what we call the Golden Rule:

"Do to others as you would have them do to you."

That's simple--and profound. To build a stronger marriage, a stronger family or a stronger friendship, we speak the love and show the love we want to receive.

Now there's a resolution that will challenge us, but the payoff is guaranteed.

I'd love to hear your stories!

Lenoere

Ready to step out into the unknown?

The beginning of a new year--any new beginning, really--feels a bit like stepping off a cliff.

Who knows what awaits us "out there?"

Every new situation brings a touch of uneasiness. Even if we think we've prepared for it, one question looms.

Will I be able to handle this?

All we can know for sure is that we haven't lived this year or this day before. Like explorers scouting new continents, day after day we'll travel through unknown territory.

Sure, we may stay in the same place, with the same people around us. But no human being is fixed and unchanging, like, say, a cardboard box. As long as we live and breathe, we're subject to change. So if you've been saying, "I suppose the future will just be more of the same," remember what Grandma used to say.

As long as there's life, there's hope.

Take time for the pause that makes sense of yesterday

It's worth taking time to reflect on where we've been. Snatch a little while out of the day to look back, either on your own or with your family. Replay the happy days and savor what was good. Let your heart be glad.

Let your heart be glad.

Ah, there's the rub. Even as Christians, some of us are afraid to feel good about anything in our lives, as if it might break some sort of spell. Some firmly believe they were born under a curse and refuse to think otherwise. If either description sounds too personal, it's worth asking why and tracing back to the source(s) of that mindset.

Even when we're consumed by loneliness, we are loved.

I will be glad and rejoice in your love, for you saw my affliction and knew the anguish of my soul.    --Psalm 30:7

Sometimes looking back hurts

For all of us, some times were not so good.Perhaps it's been a year of pain, either from circumstances or from what others inflicted on us. We just want to forget.

It's more useful to resolve to not waste the hard stuff of life. Scrape off the bandagesyou plastered over your wounds and examine them. Uncover what you learned about yourself. Often you'll realize you displayed more inner strength than you previously knew you had. For just awhile, bask in your new awareness of that hard-earned inner stamina and thank God for His transforming power within you.

You say you blew it sometimes? We all do, simply because we're imperfect human beings. Beating up on ourselves just beats us down.

What helps most is to pray for courage to humbly ask forgiveness. It's never too late, truly. Whether the other person hears us is beyond our control. Make amends if it's possible to do so. Then give the whole bundle to God, knowing He can restore, even when broken relationships seem irretrievable. Knowing for sure that Jesus died for all our sins enables us to forgive others in the same way.

Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.          ---Colossians 3:13

Through every day and every experience, as we grow, our faith grows. All it takes is a teachable heart. Then life deepens our understanding of God, as we look for--and see--His hand in everything.

What we know about the future is that it remains always unknown. Oh, we know two more things, the most important. We are loved and we  will not walk through it alone.  

The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing.                                                                                        --Zephaniah 3:17

So, my friends, let's step off into tomorrow with excitement and with joy!

Lovingly,

Lenore

 

It's Christmas time once more! (with apologies to all you poets)

 

If Messiah fills the air waves and our arms are getting sore

    From the Christmas cards we've written, but we've still a whole lot more,

    Yet we're feeling jolly, hanging lights and holly on the door,

    The secret's out, there is no doubt, it's Christmas time once more.

 

If the family's acting funny and we're fuming just a bit

    While we're hunting for the bunting that will surely be a hit,

    Christmas shopping has us hopping, we're about to lose our wits,

    And the object that's a project has turned out to be the pits.

 

If we have no whammy bunting, only clammy hands and sighs

    'Cause we're sick of spending money. Isn't funny, isn't wise.

    So we go into a huddle, still we muddle, agonize,

    While our dreams of finding "perfect" self-destruct before our eyes.

 

If we'll pitch the lists and flowcharts, let our hearts start thinking small,

    No more reading. What we're needing won't be found within a Mall.

    All the best stuff is the real stuff. Nothing changes, after all,

    It's still love that makes gifts matter, 'spite of chattter in the hall. 

 

So at Christmas time and all the time, this wish comes from my heart,

    May great joy reign. May all your pain and all your stress depart,

    And may every day be one you say, "I cannot wait to start!"

   Then at day's end, let Christ, our friend, speak peace deep in your heart. 

 

For unto us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders, and he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.  --Isaiah 9:6)  (Jesus said) Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.  --ohn 14:17 

 

So . . . Merry Christ-mas!

Lovingly,

Lenore

    

Declare a "joy break" and refresh your heart

Most of us could use a transfusion of smiles and energy about now. So sit back, put your feet up and watch these beautiful children. You won't want to miss a move.  

Even if you've seen this before, I promise it will make you smile all over again and give you an energy lift.

 

Fifth-graders who live in the Yupik Eskimo village of Quinhagak, Alaska, pop. 555 at the 2,000 census, put this together as a school computer project, intended for other Yupik villages in the area. 

By now more than 1,200,000 people have viewed this performance of the "Hallelujah" chorus from Handel's Messiah.

Take a moment to marvel at what God can do with the work of one individual.

In 1741, George Frideric Handel considered himself something of a failure. Then he composed the entire score of Messiah over a period of 24 days. He is said to have felt God gave him the music, but he could not predict how this music would endure.

He could not have imagined that 360 years later, Eskimo children in a small Alaskan village would treat us to this creative performance accompanied by a choir singing the "Hallelujah" chorus.

Tthe teacher of this class in that small Eskimo school could not foresee anyone in any other place would ever see this video.

There's a lesson here for you and me

As  individuals and as moms and dads we cannot know what God will do with our work--or our child's work.

Handel composed many other musical works, but  only his "Hallelujah" chorus is sung and hummed all over the world. His Messiah is performed every Christmas season by choruses and choirs in huge cities and in tiny villages on every continent. At the time he could not have guessed the value of his work.

I can't help thinking of this Bible verse.

For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.     --Ephesians 2:10

That verse wasn't aimed only at Handel and other famous people. It speaks to you and me, too.

Think you're on a treadmill and going nowhere?

Perhaps today you question the value of your life. Maybe you're facing your first Christmas alone after losing a loved one.

If you're a mom, your family most often notices what you do when you don't do it. Put a positive spin on that. Being taken for granted also means your family knows they can count on you.

Forget looking elsewhere to find your particular "good works." You're living with them. What's more, the family life you create, the love you pour into your days will live on in your children. Every day you are coloring their lives--and their picture of life.

Joy comes from giving ourselves fully and from knowing that what we do matters, whether we see the end result or not. God is faithful. What we do in faith will live on, one way or another.

Believe it. Let that truth put fresh energy in your tired body.

Then look again at the smiles on the faces of those Eskimo school children and sing Hallelujah! in your heart.

Someone needs us, needs our kind words, needs our encouragement. Those are gifts, too.

Now, let's enjoy this wonderful Christ-mas season of giving ourselves,

Lenore

 

Protect your children--and yourself--from getting boiled

Have you noticed how what shocks us at first we hardly notice after awhile?

Call it a demonstration of the "Frog in the Kettle" phenomenon. A frog would never stay in a pot of boiling water--unless the water in the pan started out cold. If you raise the temperature oh, so gradually, the frog will adapt to his or her environment.

It's the same with you, with me and especially with our children

Whatever our surroundings, we learn to adapt. Plunk us among positive people and we become more upbeat. Drop us into a crowd of folks who gripe all the time and we start complaining, too.

Parents create the atmosphere that counts most

Although children gain knowledge and impressions at school, home is where their basic foundation of life is formed. What their parents think matters more than all the rest.

From early on our children absorb our attitudes, right or wrong. If Mom and Dad think life is scary, their kids will, too. If we grumble that nobody treats us fairly or that you can't trust anyone, our daughters and sons accept that as truth. Act as if people around us are good people and our kids will consider the world a friendly place and be optimistic about their chances in it. 

This principle holds no matter what our level of income may be or where we live.

We give our kids a gift--or a handicap--by the atmosphere we create within our family.

 Insulating our darlings

The culture we live in intrudes and colors our thinking, at every age. Television gets blamed most often. What matters even more is how we view it within our families. When something objectionable or untrue is shown, do we let it pass with no comment?

If we do, we just awarded our seal of approval.

It doesn't stop there. Everything from the Internet to conversations with friends and neighbors to what they pick uup in school drips into young minds. Adults can process information through an adult perspective and their experience. Children and teens swallow it whole.

Because we can't be with them 24/7, it's vital to equip them with their own inner guidance system.

• Individuals who clearly understand the difference between right and wrong acquire an internal plumb line and make wiser judgments.
• Kids who can reason and use logic discern untruths more easily.
• Children who pray when they're unsure feel more confident.
• Youngsters who understand that Jesus loves them and watches over them feel less afraid of the dangers (real or imagined) around them.

(By the way, these principles work for adults, too.)

Froggie adapted to his environment and it killed him. What about us?

Whatever we think of the world we live in, most of us don't consider it ideal. Tragic headlines about the rich and famous clearly show what happens when individuals embrace this society without reservation. Most parents and grandparents consider that our worst nightmare.

It's our privilege to be entrusted with rearing our children or to be a grandparent. What we say and do matters more than we think. That's an honor, not a burden. I confess I didn't always recognize that. Maybe you didn't, either.

So we start where we are. If we remember who we are and ask God's help, he will strengthen us and deepen our faith. He will enable us to be the lights and the lifters within our own families.

Send forth your light and your truth, let them guide me ...    --Psalm 43:3

Surely God is my help; the Lord is the one who sustains me.   --Psalm 54:4

The LORD gives strength to his people; the LORD blesses his people with peace.     --Psalm 29:11

I've found you can trust the Lord. He loves you and your children. He'll fill in your empty spots and be your strength.

God bless you!

Lenore

Search out the heroes around you

Maybe you know one. 

  

Maybe you are one. 

 

I can hear you saying, "Yeah, sure."

 

Well, I'm not kidding. Heroes come in all shapes and sizes and ages. Sometimes they're in the spotlight and their stories make the news.

 

Most of the time, however, nobody notices.

 

Think about the dads--and moms--who go off to work every day, mostly without complaint. Consider the ones who got a pink slip. They could sink into a heap on the floor, but they don't. Instead, they look at the people they love and keep going.

 

Include the ones who every day they wave a smiling goodbye to their spouse and their children, then go back inside and clean up the fallout of family life. All day, every day, they do a few of the million things it takes to keep a family going.

 

Hardly anyone pays much attention.

 

Living with uncertainty 

 

Over the four years I've known one married couple who have lived with precarious paychecks. You would never guess that by their smiles. They always talk about how God watches over them. These two model unwavering faith, especially for their three children.

 

Don't forget the moms and dads who know the pain of watching their child struggle, whether with school, with drugs or emotional illness, or just with living. These parents sought out the most-qualified professionals they could find, but see little to no progress. Time passes with little evident progress, yet they keep on praying and encouraging, keep on believing. 

 

Who can imagine the anguish of watching your child suffer through a serious, perhaps life-threatening illness?  Some care for failing spouses or parent(s.) Even as sadness depletes their emotions and exhaustion saps their strength they pour out love, all the while mourning what was and will never be again.

 

Some heroes wear uniforms and serve in the Armed Forces. All the while their wife or husband or parent(s) prays fervently and waits. They may return home alive, but injured, changed, whether emotionally or physically. On the long road back all the wife or husband or parent can do is keep on loving and keep on praying.

 

Heroes, every one of them.

 

Take a closer look in the mirror

 

See that hero looking back at you?

 

You're a hero because you stay, no matter what, and keep on loving, being faithful. Whatever may be missing in your life, every day you decide again to keep on loving as if. As if you were fulfilled. As if your husband or your son or daughter displayed every quality you once envisioned.

 

You do this because you promised. Because God made you a mom.

 

You often think you don't do enough. You cry over the times you get impatient or lose your temper. You pray, because you know you're not strong enough on your own.

God sees. He knows. Here's a promise for those days you feel overwhelmed.

Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.          --Isaiah 40:28-31  

 

Lovingly,

Lenore

 

 

 

Put the life back in your life

Thank you, one and all who read this blog! I am humbled and I never take you for granted. My apologies for the big gap in posting. I've been fighting a virus that morphed into a nasty case of bronchitis.

Sometimes life feels as flat as a soda that's lost its fizz.

That mood can strike any of us, any time of the year, even though what's in our "glass" remains the same. Yet we see emptiness, not fullness.

We call it as we see it, not as it is.

We do that with family members and friends, too, and see only their faults. We say, "Well, nobody's perfect and nobody's life is perfect, but . . ."

That little voice asks, Couldn't my life be a bit, um, more? Couldn't that other person change just a little bit? If only . . .

I've learned it's risky to hang around too long in the land of "If only."

My friend, Ginny, never goes there. She has a basketful of problems, but you'd never guess. Ask her how she's doing and she usually replies, "Great! If my life got any better, I couldn't stand it!"

Ask her to elaborate and she'll say, "Well, I'm still breathing in and out. I can get around on my own steam and my mind still works. I can see, even if I do need Coke-bottle eyeglasses to do it. I have a roof over my head and I eat pretty regularly. I'm part of a church family, where we love the Lord and we love each other. Best of all, I know Jesus loves me and watches over me, so I am rich." 

Every time Ginny repeats all the reasons she has to be thankful it reinforces in her mind that she's blessed and shifts her thinking to what's good and right and true.

Sounds too simple? Most great truths are.

What if you and I counted our blessings not just on Thanksgiving, but every day of the year? Suppose we gave up harping on what's wrong and bemoaning what's missing and deliberately focused on what's good. Picture starting each day with, "Thank you, Lord, for this day and for for every blessing. Thank you for promising to be with me every minute. Guide me and use me, I pray."

Think how it could affect our marriages, our family relationships and friendships.

Researchers say don't stop there

Don't take my word for it. A Texas Tech University study proved the value of counting our blessings and then counting them again. They divided study participants into two groups with similar life situations. Those who frequently and deliberately took time to re-appreciate the good in their lives scored themselves as happier than those who didn't.

Researchers concluded that counting our blessings--over and over--reminds us of their value and helps us stay contented.

Our perception of life depends on where we look.

Most of all it helps if we take our eyes off the gifts and focus on the Giver. He's the real source of life in our life. Here are some verses to get us started.

The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song.                                                                                                           --Psalm 28:7

So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live in him, rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught and overflowing with thankfulness.                                         --Colossians 2:6-7

Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.                      --1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

May you have blessings too numerous to count this Thanksgiving and every day, my friends!

Lovingly,

Lenore

 

 

 

Are you Female? Male? Both? Or neither?

Suppose your child came home from school and asked you that question.

That could happen if you were the mom or dad of a student at Redwood Heights Elementary in Oakland, CA.

Why should you care?

What happened there--or a variation of same--is coming your way soon.

Here's the background, taken from Web and newspaper accounts. Last May 23rd and 24th, kids in all grades of Redwood Heights School were grouped by age, then instructed by Gender Spectrum trainer, Joel Baum. He told students, "It turns out there are not just two (gender) options."

Kindergartners learned about colors, toys and activities. Older students were taught what gender means and how it's expressed in different cultures.

Baum explained individuals can be more than one gender and have more than one set of sexual organs. He cited male sea horses, who can produce and care for offspring all by themselves. Youngsters were given information cards picturing single-sex geckos and "transgender" clown fish.

Chalk it up to "diversity training," part of the School's anti-bullying campaign..

California schools must institute a specific plan for diversity instruction and against bullying. Redwood Heights lessons were developed by Gender Spectrum, a San Leandro, CA, non-profit, and paid for by a $1500 grant from the California Teachers Union.

Parents could not opt their children out of these classes. (California state law permits that only for sex education classes.) Three Redwood Heights parents kept their kids home on the day(s) of the training.

(Note: I combed numerous Internet articles. A FoxNews.com reporter sat in on classes, which enabled the quotes. The Associated Press also contributed to their article.)

Wait, there's more

Since Governor Brown signed SB 48 into law on July 14, 2011, California textbooks will have to change. This will affect all textbooks in all places, since publishers tailor their materials to their largest purchaser: California.

The "Fair Education Act" mandates that governing boards must adopt textbooks and teaching materials which "accurately portray the role and contribution" of lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender persons to the State and the Nation and that do not reflect negatively upon LGBT individuals. Instruction or school-sponsored activities that could reflect adversely upon LGBT individuals also are forbidden.

Existing law prohibitiing discrimination in any aspect covers charter and alternative schools. How this may affect home schoolers is not addressed.

This law affects the State Education code, too, which now replaces the word “sex” with “gender.” "Gender" now includes a person's gender identity and gender expression. "Gender expression" means "a person's gender-related appearance and behavior, whether or not stereotypically associated with the person's assigned sex at birth."

That means . . .

Whether a person checks "Male" or "Female" is a matter of choice, not body parts.

Inevitably, what's taught in schools affects our communities and our society, now or in awhile.

Are we paying attention? Are we letting our voices be heard?

Remember that family still trumps the school

As parents, you need not quake in fear, but you do need to be watchful.

You and I also need to be clear what we think about all this. Otherwise, we simply add to the bewilderment children and teens already feel. They'll need to be strong and clear-thinking if they're to withstand the constant drip-drip-drip of remarks and theories that probably contradict what your family stands for.

That makes it vital they understand who they are and know sound principles for living. If you're a Christian, you'll want them to be sure what the Bible teaches. You'll want to read verses together and talk about them. Let them voice their doubts and confusion. Reassure them.

Ground your kids with the Truth

There's no question cruelty, bullying, name-calling and intolerance are wrong. Christians have believed that from the beginning. No doubt you already stressed that with your children. What you'll do now is clarify and help them be sure what God says.

Here are two foundational verses to reinforce their sense of self:

So God created human beings in his own image. In the image of God he created them; male and female he created them --Genesis 1:27

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. --Psalm 139:13-14

Be involved in your child's school and talk with the teacher(s.) Be reasonable and kind. You can be supportive without backing down on what you believe. If you wonder what you have to say to your children, remind yourself of the crucial issue:

If you don't talk about these sticky issues with your kids, they will only have what they hear in the classroom, on the playground and from the media to draw on.

Most of all, don't despair. God can use us, even when our knees are knocking.

Sorry this ran so long,

Lenore