Calling all happy mamas--or wannabes

If Mama's not happy, ain't nobody happy.

That folk saying is uncomfortably true. Our moods affect our husbands and our chidren.

Years ago I heard humorist Sam Levenson tell of his childhood and I remember it still. It went something like this. "When I was a kid our family was dirt poor, but none of us kids knew it. We all thought we must be rich. Otherwise why would our parents laugh so much and why would all our friends want to come to our place?"

According to her son, Mama Levenson gets the credit.

Like it or not, we wives are the barometer of our homes

Our Creator wired male and female differently, but most of us would agree that's true. We gals usually are more emotional, the nurturers. Let's call that difference what it is: A blessing. A privilege. We are people of influence, which has nothing to do with getting a paycheck.

Whatever our personality strengths and weaknesses, real life calls us to do what needs to be done. To give what would bless the people we love. To be who we're called to be in the present moment, day after day, no matter what else we must do.

Looking for personal space

Even in the midst of busy, happy family life we can get stuck on needing "space to breathe." All we can think of is our "want to" list.

Count me in that number. I know how feeling sorry for ourselves can turn sunny days into gloom in no time. Then it was easy to believe I always ended up doing (I thought) the most and giving (I thought) the most.

One day I wailed my, "Why me?" and distinctly heard a voice asking me back, "Why not you?"

That left me speechless.

I took a long look at the facts of my life. By the grace of God a good man loved me--and put up with my many flaws. I truly loved and respected him. With four healthy kids, enough to eat and a safe place to live, I knew I was blessed and I did thank God.

So why would I allow myself to be dragged down by issues with no more substance than a gnat?

Getting back to center

Here's what I've learned and know for sure. You and I create the world we--and our families--inhabit.

Our children, at least in their early years when their lifeviews are being formed, read us and look at life through our eyes. We have it in our power to give them a great gift, the in-their-bones conviction that the world is a happy place. That God loves them and watches over them.

How do we handle the inevitable hard times? Here's what helped me. My outlook began to change the day I promised myself--and God--I absolutely would not give in to self-pity anymore. No matter what, I would act as if life was good.

In the beginning that felt almost dishonest.

Bible truths can fill in the empty spaces

In the early stage of my experiment I had no proof it would work. I looked for reinforcement and turned to the Bible. I found Paul's letters, like Ephesians and Galatians, a good place to start.

Some verses really spoke to my heart, as well as quotes from good books. I wanted to hang onto them, so I wrote them down. Today I dig through those old notebooks like a gold miner working her claim.

Verses like this helped me immensely:

Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. -- Colossians 3:12

(Do I need to tell you I'm still growing in this one?)

Trust me, when Mama lives happy, everyone is happier. Even Mama.

Your comments, please.

Comments

[Jean Thomas]

Thank you Lenore for putting every day common sense "horse sense" as you put it in front of us. Am enjoying reading all your blogs. Will get to the rest of them. It is special to know you and feel a common bond to so much of what you have to say. Jean

[Lenore Buth]

Thanks, Marj. You lay it out perfectly and you're right, it is almost scary to realize our responsibility as moms. For a long time I didn't see the flip side of this coin. God trusts us with a huge privilege, that of helping shape human beings--their health, their values, their faith and all the rest. That really humbles me. God bless you, too!

[Marjorie Gulliford]

Hi Lenore - I just read your latest Blog and as usual it was great. It is so true in my way of thinking that mama is so important in the home in raising of the children, and being a good spouse. It is almost scary to think of what responsibility we have been given, by God, to mold our homes into the place where we show the love of God, to help our families to enjoy life and to live in PEACE, and be happy, and to thank God for all he has given us. Love your stories and your wisdom. God Bless, Marj.