A Woman's View

What if we made "Accentuate the Positive" our theme song?

 I heard this old song on the radio the other day and it got me thinking.

How would it change our lives if we followed its prescription? We could start with these five phrases:

• Accentuate the positive
• Eliminate the negative
• Latch on to the affirmative
• Spread joy up to the maximum
• Bring gloom down to the minimum

Johnny Mercer wrote that song in 1944. Americans were bone-weary of World War II. With its snappy rhythms and happy lyrics, this song quickly proved a great morale-booster.

The right words could do the same for us

A lot of us are bone-weary of one thing or another. Sometimes hope is in short supply. We worry about our kids and we worry about jobs and what will happen next.

Each of us could make a list of what keeps us churning.

Suppose we fastened on what's good and refused to give in to gloom.

• Instead of listing the minuses in our husbands' we could just as easily count up their pluses.
• Rather than ragging on our children over poor grades in school, what if we pointed out qualities of temperament or character we admire.
• If money is tight we might add up what we are able to do with the money available. (Hint: Include cost-free delights, too.)
• Maybe we spot another new bulge or wrinkle and want to moan. Or we could look at eyes that see. Arms and hands that function as they should. Legs that still carry us around. Etc. That's quite a lot to be thankful for.

We choose what we emphasize

Even in a changing world, old truths still hold, like this one: "Women are the heart of the home."

Having everyone depend on us can feel like a burden. Or we can regard it as the privilege it is.

Moms, for instance, are the mirror through which our children view life and adopt a perspective. Happy moms make for happy kids who feel optimistic about life--and themselves.

Wives and husbands, employed or not, help each other feel they're worth something. No matter how bad the day has been, if they greet each other with smiles and feel appreciated, all the bad stuff fades into the background. Good friends do that, too.

Even if we live alone, we set the tone for our lives.

What do we do when we're empty?

We all have those times when we run on Empty and have nothing left to give. A refueling is in order.

That's when I go back to verses like these.

• By day the LORD directs his love, at night his song is with me--a prayer to the God of my life.                                                                    --Psalm 41:42
• God is our refuge and strength, an ever present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea.                                                                               --Psalm 46:1-2
• I will lie down and sleep in peace, for you alone, O LORD, make me dwell in safety.                                                                                --Psalm 4:8

If you're a regular reader--and if you are, thank you!--you may wonder why I so often write about our thoughts. I suspect it's because this is one of my weaknesses. Getting "down" takes no effort at all.

Staying optimistic does.

I've learned to be watchful over my moods and to deliberately pick out what's good in my life, then thank God for it.

You might say I try to "Ac-cent-tchu-ate the positive."

Q: What's your strategy? I'd love to know.

Blessings,

Lenore

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Rediscovering the real treasure in life

Imagine my shock to discover the post I thought had published last week mysteriously disappeared instead--and I didn't catch it. Mea culpa, my friends. Hope you like this slightly revised reprint from November 8, 2008. Thank you for reading my blog!

"Did you ever study Ecclesiastes? So much of it seems written just for me."

I smiled at my friend. Her random question immediately transported me back to a weekend when our girls were growing up and I was drowning in child-rearing. That's when a few verses from Ecclesiastes became my life-line.

By any standard, our life was good. My husband and I dearly loved each other. No big problems, good health, four great kids. Any fool would be thankful, but right then, not this one.

I yearned for ... something, but I wasn't sure what.

One morning a newspaper announcement of a women's workshop called my name. "Wish I could go," I told my husband over lunch. "It's only an hour's drive from here and I'd love to have a break. But it starts tonight."

Then that terrific man I married (who wanted his wife back) surprised me, as he often does. "Go! The girls and I will be fine."

I hugged him and right away called the number listed. Yes, they had space. Hallelujah! I dressed and packed in a frenzy of anticipation. I only knew the speakers would be Christian women from a neighboring state.

Was I naive? Yes. Desperate for a breather? Yes!

A few hours later I waved goodbye to those beautiful ties that bound me with love. I drove off with a smile, giddy at the prospect of nobody calling, "Mommy!" for forty-eight hours.

At the hotel I walked into a large room full of women I did not know. Being anonymous suited me just fine. I just wanted to be in a safe, quiet place and maybe pick up something useful.

The conference theme was Ecclesiastes and five minutes into the first speaker's talk, I knew why I was there. That conviction deepened as the evening went on. 

Getting to the root of my discontent

For months I had been reading and hearing the same points everywhere I turned. I owed it to myself to "accomplish" something, so I could be fulfilled, they said.

Just being a wife and mother could never satisfy my deepest needs, they said, only waste my potential for greatness.

Certainly I should not be under the "domination" of the sweet, quiet man who loved me, they told me.

I hadn't consciously bought into these theories, yet they lodged insidiously within my mind and heart. Little by little, they painted my thinking in a wash of dull gray.

Learning from Solomon

This theme verse leaped out at me, especially because of the mindset I walked in with:

Yet when I surveyed all that my hands had done and what I had toiled to achieve, everything was meaningless, a chasing after the wind ...                                                                                   --Ecclesiastes 2:11

We focused on Chapter Two, where Solomon relates his goals and dreams, his great success and wealth, and the emptiness he felt. Our speaker asked a rhetorical question: Had we noticed anything like that around us?

Solomon's phrase drummed in my mind: "chasing after the wind."

We looked at life, marriage and the joy of piling up years together. 

Leaders also delved into how every day moms--and dads--help shape the next generation, planting faith and values that carry over. That presses lasting meaning and significance into every twenty-four hours.

Truth gently smacked me and woke me up, then moved in to stay. My life mattered, just as it was.

Everything from mopping up spills to mashing potatoes formed a tiny part of the mosaic of our family. Each day counted for more than I could guess.

Was this news to me? No. But thinking through those verses in Ecclesiastes replenished my spirit and reminded me what I already believed.

No longer would I look "out there" to set my standards and gauge my "fulfillment" by someone else's measuring stick. I drove home singing--and praying, impatient to hug my husband and daughters.

Nothing changed about my life but me ... and that changed everything.

Here's wishing you clear thinking and a fresh charge of joy every day as you journey on!

Lenore

Ever had one of these "a-ha moments?" Your comments welcomed!

Want to change your life? Change your thoughts

I know, I know, that sounds too simple. I wouldn't believe it, either, if I hadn't lived it.

You see, for years I lived by circumstances.

Too often my mood rested on factors such as whether I got up with a headache. Whether it was raining. Whether the baby wailed or my husband seemed anxious.

The typical stuff of every day could turn me depressed or grouchy in no time.

Times like that I wasn't much fun to live with.

Oh, I did apologize with my well-worn apology. It went like this, "Sorry, Hon, I can't help it. That's just the way I am."

Enter "The Worry Clinic"

Then our daily newspaper started running this syndicated column by Dr. George Crane. Three times a week I devoured every word, but in the beginning I carried on a running argument with him in my mind.

I checked Dr. Crane's New York Times obituary. He wrote that column for over sixty years, until shortly before he died in 1995, at age 94.

Dr. Crane, a trained psychologist and a physician, always described his advice as "old-fashioned horse sense."

Which it was, I suppose. I remember one of his oft-repeated statements word-for-word.

"Act the way you want to feel and soon you'll feel the way you act."

The first time I read that it made no sense, but it opened my mind a crack. He had a favorite theme, that what we feel stems from what we think.

Here's a loose translation of how Dr. Crane explained the process:

You can change your thoughts as deliberately as you change stations on your radios or channels on your television sets. Switching your mind to another frequency is just as easy. All it takes is some practice.

That bumped me up against an uncomfortable fact I didn't want to face. I kind of liked being able to justify myself with,"I can't help it. That's who I am."

First I was shocked. Then I prayed.

Time's a'wasting

I became aware how our children reflected my moods. Before there was one sometimes-mopey mom. Now four sometimes-mopey copycats lived in the same house.

No wonder I pounced on Dr. Crane's "horse sense."

He primed readers not to expect an overnight transformation. The captain of an ocean liner can't turn 180 degrees all at once, he said Neither could we.

But, he promised, we could turn one degree, 180 times.

Before I had prayed for God to change me, then waited for it to happen.

Now I understood my part of it was to act in faith. That is, I needed to pray and trust, yes, but then move ahead and act as if God already answered and changed me. As time went on these actions began to feel "natural."

After awhile I could see how small, incremental moves brought big benefits. Home became a happier place--for all of us.

Branching out from Dr. Crane

I read the Bible and underlined verses. I haunted the public library and brought home stacks of books on personal growth, marriage and parenting. I took notes when something "hit me and fit me," as a friend used to say

Older books, newer books, it didn't matter. I devised my own criteria.

1.) Did the principles in this book conflict with what I believed as a Christian or with my personal values? (If so I set it aside.)

2.) Did the author use jargon or explain concepts in plain English?

After years of reading and living, here's what I know is true

• It's not the circumstances of our lives that determine our mindset; what matters most happens between our ears.
  
• Our emotions do flow out of what we feed our minds, just as Dr. Crane said.
  
• We are not alone. The power to help us change is available. All we need to do is ask.

The LORD gives strength to his people; the LORD blesses his people with peace. --Psalm 29:11

Now, what do you think?

Blessings,

Lenore

Calling all happy mamas--or wannabes

If Mama's not happy, ain't nobody happy.

That folk saying is uncomfortably true. Our moods affect our husbands and our chidren.

Years ago I heard humorist Sam Levenson tell of his childhood and I remember it still. It went something like this. "When I was a kid our family was dirt poor, but none of us kids knew it. We all thought we must be rich. Otherwise why would our parents laugh so much and why would all our friends want to come to our place?"

According to her son, Mama Levenson gets the credit.

Like it or not, we wives are the barometer of our homes

Our Creator wired male and female differently, but most of us would agree that's true. We gals usually are more emotional, the nurturers. Let's call that difference what it is: A blessing. A privilege. We are people of influence, which has nothing to do with getting a paycheck.

Whatever our personality strengths and weaknesses, real life calls us to do what needs to be done. To give what would bless the people we love. To be who we're called to be in the present moment, day after day, no matter what else we must do.

Looking for personal space

Even in the midst of busy, happy family life we can get stuck on needing "space to breathe." All we can think of is our "want to" list.

Count me in that number. I know how feeling sorry for ourselves can turn sunny days into gloom in no time. Then it was easy to believe I always ended up doing (I thought) the most and giving (I thought) the most.

One day I wailed my, "Why me?" and distinctly heard a voice asking me back, "Why not you?"

That left me speechless.

I took a long look at the facts of my life. By the grace of God a good man loved me--and put up with my many flaws. I truly loved and respected him. With four healthy kids, enough to eat and a safe place to live, I knew I was blessed and I did thank God.

So why would I allow myself to be dragged down by issues with no more substance than a gnat?

Getting back to center

Here's what I've learned and know for sure. You and I create the world we--and our families--inhabit.

Our children, at least in their early years when their lifeviews are being formed, read us and look at life through our eyes. We have it in our power to give them a great gift, the in-their-bones conviction that the world is a happy place. That God loves them and watches over them.

How do we handle the inevitable hard times? Here's what helped me. My outlook began to change the day I promised myself--and God--I absolutely would not give in to self-pity anymore. No matter what, I would act as if life was good.

In the beginning that felt almost dishonest.

Bible truths can fill in the empty spaces

In the early stage of my experiment I had no proof it would work. I looked for reinforcement and turned to the Bible. I found Paul's letters, like Ephesians and Galatians, a good place to start.

Some verses really spoke to my heart, as well as quotes from good books. I wanted to hang onto them, so I wrote them down. Today I dig through those old notebooks like a gold miner working her claim.

Verses like this helped me immensely:

Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. -- Colossians 3:12

(Do I need to tell you I'm still growing in this one?)

Trust me, when Mama lives happy, everyone is happier. Even Mama.

Your comments, please.

Psychiatry or the Gospel, which one brings mental health? One psychiatrist gives his opinion

The debate never ends.

Hasn't psychiatry replaced religion? How can the Bible, written so long ago, be relevant for today?

After years of medical practice n American psychiatrist named J. T. Fisher offers an opinion.

"If you were to take the sum total of all authoritative articles ever written by the most qualified of psychologists and psychiatrists on the subject of mental hygiene, if you were to combine them and refine them and cleave out the excess verbiage, if you were to take the whole of the meat and none of the parsley, and if you were to have these unadulterated bits of pure scientific knowledge concisely expressed by the most capable of living poets, you would have an awkward and an incomplete summary of the Sermon on the Mount. And it would suffer immeasurably through comparison.

"For nearly two thousand years the Christian world has been holding in its hands the complete answer to its restless and fruitless yearning. Here rests the blueprint for successful human life, with optimum mental health and contentment."

-- A Few Buttons Missing: The Case Book of a Psychiatrist, by J.T. Fisher, M. D., and L.S. Hawley

Obviously, Dr. Fisher likes long sentences.

If we follow the thread through his comments, we find he doesn't waffle, but speaks in definite terms. (Kind of rpreferred efreshing, don't you think?)

He refers to Jesus' words in Matthew 5:1 to 7:29, commonly known as the Sermon on the Mount. We know Jesus spoke the words, but the exact location remains uncertain. Many scholars think the crowds following him were seated on the gently sloping hillside at the northwest corner of the Sea of Galilee.

Read through these verses and you'll find many favorites, including The Lord's Prayer. Familiar phrases used by believers and non-believers are here, too, like, "salt of the earth" and "let your light shine."

So if the good Dr. Fisher were handing out a prescription for staying sane in the midst of the craziness, he might tell us to read a few verses every day and then spend time thinking about them. Anyone can fill this prescription and take this medicine, with or without medical insurance. You see, there is no co-pay. It's been paid for in advance, for every human being, for all time.

Here are a couple of verses that address what seems to be the universal mood right now:

Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? . . . Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life? . . . Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. --Matthew 6:25, 27, 34

Let the debate rage on--and it will. All that matters is that each of us knows the One who spoke those words and offers us peace-in-the-midst.

Or as Dr. Fisher puts it, the One who holds out the answer to all our restless and fruitless yearning: Himself.

Now, here's a question for you: What are your favorite verses from the Sermon on the Mount? Why not share them in the Comments section?

Here's to filling our minds with the Good Stuff!

Lenore

(This post originally appeared July 15, 2010)

Light up your life

Will anyone who thinks we're living in discouraging times, please raise your hand?

Okay, we're all agreed.

But whatever is--or isn't--going on in our lives, this is the only time we have to live in. 

We can wallow in what's wrong and wail out our rage.

We can kick and scream and holler, "No!" like a toddler. But all we'll have to show for it will be mascara tracks down our cheeks.

We can carry signs and protest. For that we get sore throats and tired legs.

Or--or--we can decide to brighten the corner we occupy.

How can I, when I feel so empty and hopeless?

Here's what I've found. When I'm feeling dry and dusty, it's suseless to try to dredge up joy from inside. Faking it sounds, well, fakey.

We start by putting the good stuff in.                             

There's no better "stuff" than what we find in the Bible. The Bible is as essential to our souls and spirits as pure water is to our bodies.

That's why people all over the world read the Bible to get their bearings for each day. No matter how shaky life feels, the truth of the Bible stands firm.

There is no one perfect time and way, but rather what works for each of us. Some people wake up before their families so they can read and study without interruption. People read the Bible on their desktops, laptops and tablets. Some download the Bible on their smart phones or Kindles and read a few verses several times a day. Some listen to CDs of the Bible as they drive.

The power is in God working through the words, not in the how and when and where we read.

What will this do for me?

It's like a bank account. Depositing Bible truths and promises in our minds gives us something to draw on when we're feeling overwhelmed. I like to underline verses that speak to me and ponder them. When I'm running dry, I go back to ones I've marked in my old NIV Bible. For example:  

In Matthew 11:28, Jesus said:   "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest."                                        

In John 14:1 & 27, Jesus said:   "Let not your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me . . . Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid."                         

Romans 5:8 & 8:1-2:   But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us . . . Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death.   

Psalm 29:11:   The LORD gives strength to his people; the LORD blesses his people with peace.                                                                                                           

Psalm 34:4:   Surely God is my help; the Lord is the one who sustains me.    

The Bible reminds us we're not in this alone

Verses like these wash over our anxieties and reset our internal guidance systems. They refresh our hearts, like a splash of cool water on a hot day.

These days I need that. How about you?

Lovingly,

Lenore

Mom, you can plant a "can do" attitude, even if you're living in a "can't do" world

If you don't believe that statement, just ask Benjamin Carson, M. D. At age thirty-three he became director of pediatric neurosurgery at Johns Hopkins Hospital in Baltimore, a post he still holds.

He probably grew up in privilege, with doting parents who spared him from struggle and discouragement. Right?

Wrong.

Dr. Carson grew up in a ghetto in Detroit.

His divorced mother, Sonya, dropped out of school in the third grade and cleaned houses for wealthy homeowners. She often left home early in the morning and returned after dark.

Benjamin Carson did have one big advantage. His mother never stopped believing in God--or in him. Over and over she told him, "Learn to do your best and God will do the rest."

The real story behind Benjamin Carson, M. D.

Sonya Carson spoke encouragement to her sons out of faith, not personal experience. At age thirteen she married a much older man and became a mother at eighteen, when she bore her first son, Curtis. When her second son, Benjamin, was eight, Sonya discovered her husband "forgot to mention" his other wife and family. She took the boys and moved in with her sister in Boston, then divorced her husband.

Two years later Sonya, Curtis and Bennie moved back to Detroit and into a ghetto high-rise, all they could afford. To support them Sonya cleaned houses for wealthy homeowners, sometimes three or four in tandem. She resolved she would do the best cleaning job her employers ever had. Somehow she managed to pay expenses and says with pride, "I took food stamps only one time, for a few months."

Not surprisingly, her sons did what their friends did. After school they played outside, then came in and watched TV. They struggled in school, especially Ben. His mother told him, "Bennie, you have to work harder. You have to use that good brain God gave you. Do you understand me?"

He did, but other kids taunted him that he was the dumbest kid in the world and he began to believe it. Before long Bennie brought home a report card full of Fs.

Sonya did not know what to do, so she prayed. "Lord," she said, "if You can take nothing and make a world out of it, You can take my situation and make it work--for the boys' sake."

Soon she had a plan and announced new, strict rules. Her sons could watch only two TV programs per week and had to choose them in advance. What's more, each week they were to read two books from their neighborhood library, then write a one-page book report and give it to her.

Over and over she told her boys, "Learn to do your best and God will do the rest."

Bennie started hanging out at the library. After awhile, one of the librarians took an interest and began pointing out books he might like. He soon developed an interest in rocks and science.

When her sons handed their mother their book reports, Sonya went over them and asked questions with a thoroughness that did not telegraph her own lack of education.

God had shown her how to handle a crisis. "After that," she said, "I would pray for guidance and afterward know what to do."

Before long Bennie began to surprise classmates and his teacher by answering questions with right answers. By the end of the school year he was one of the best students in class.

Like Mother, like sons

Learn to do your best and God will do the rest.

Sonya Carson lived by that principle as she cleaned homes. As a result, no client ever wanted anyone else to clean their homes. Her sons heard those words so often the principle became their indelible mindset, too. Both of them excelled in school.

Even though they lived in a high-rise ghetto, where going out into the halls after dark could mean risking your life. 

Curtis, the older son, became an engineer.

Benjamin became a world-famous pediatric neurosurgeon who brings hope to patients, including parents of conjoined twins, who find little hope elsewhere. 

Bennie, the "F" student, became one who debates famous proponents of evolution and atheism.

Benjamin Carson, M. D., author of four books, named by the Library of Congress as one of 89 "living legends." 

Sonya lived out her words, too. Years later she earned her GED. She followed that with college classes and became a successful interior decorator.

This story sounds almost unbelievable, except that Sonya so clearly relied on God all along. It's as Jesus told His followers in Matthew 19:26:

   . . . with God all things are possible.

Sonya's Power Source can be ours

In Matthew 11:28, Jesus says,

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.

 All we need to do is ask--and then trust.

Lovingly,

Lenore

Your comments, please.

Sorry this ran so long. The day my husband and I heard Ben Carson speak, not one person coughed or shifted in their chairs. I've never forgotten his riveting story--or his mother's courage. If you want to know more about Ben, Google his name. Read his biography in Wikipedia, which tells of his surgery on conjoined twins. His book, Think Big, (Zondervan) tells a lot about his mother and his philosophy of life. The movie, "Gifted Hands," based on his first book by the same name, is available on DVD and features Cuba Gooding. For a fascinating article, go to www.icr/org and in the search box, type in his name.

Finding Real Freedom in the Land of the Free

Fourth of July fireworks and patriotic songs reminded us we live in the land of the free. Are we living free?

And what does it mean to "live free," anyhow?                                   
Each of us will answer that differently. It took me years to understand that freedom comes from within, not from without. 

You may have been a fan of Nick Charles, the popular and much-acclaimed CNN sports announcer who recently died of cancer. He dearly loved his wife and doted on their five-year old daughter. Listen to what he told CNN's Dr. Sanjay Gupta not long before he died.

"I'm a forward looking person but also a living-in-the-moment person So I wake up every day expecting to have a good day. It may sound trite, Sanjay, but life as you get older is about 20 percent of what happens to you and about 80 percent how you react to it."

You've probably heard that said before. I have, too, but never with more power. 

If Nick Charles was a Christian, his words are understandable. Christians believe that faith in Jesus the Savior ensures us eternal life, so he would know will see his wife and child again.

Whatever his faith (or lack of it) Nick Charles spoke truth. How we react to what happens to us determines our lives. How we react depends on what's inside us, in the core of our being. That's what drives us. 

It took me a long time to grasp that. Then I read an old book, "Man's Search for Meaning,"  by the late Viktor Frankl, M.D., Ph.D.

Before World War II, Frankl, his wife and his parents lived the good life in Vienna. Then the Nazis invaded Austria. Like almost six million other Jews, they were sent to a Nazi concentration camp, separated, of course, and never saw each other again. Even Frankl's wedding ring was taken from him.

During those anguishing days in the Camp he realized a great truth. Here's how he summed it up.

"Everything can be taken from a man or a woman but one thing: the last of human freedoms to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way."                                                

Viktor Frankl in a death camp. Nick Charles close to death from cancer. Both of them in crisis mode and both said the same thing: We can't control everything in our lives, but we do control what we think about it.That dictates how we respond.

The Bible said ir first, in Proverbs 23:7:

            As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he . . .

We hang the labels on what happens to us.

We choose to park our minds in a lousy place or in a good place.

Young or old, rich or poor, in or out of crisis, to know this can change your life.

Take it from one who knows.

Lovingly,

Lenore

 

If you've ever felt like an "invisible mother," this one's for you

Most of us moms have had times when we've thought (or said,) "Nobody notices  
what I do around here unless I don't do it!"

Someone sent me a piece about being a mom and I love it. I think you will, too. Sorry, I could not find the name of the author of The Invisible Mother. She's a mom and tells of being with a group of friends, all chic career women, and feeling a bit dowdy.

As she looked around at her friends she wondered what she had to show for her life. One woman had just returned from a trip to London and presented this mom with a beautifully wrapped package. Let's pick up the story right after she unwraps her gift.

 . . . It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe. I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read her inscription: "With admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees." 

A story of legend in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, "Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof? No one will ever see it."

And the workman replied, "Because God sees it."

I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, "I see you. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does.

"No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, no hockey/soccer/piano/Scout/school meeting, no last minute errand is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become."

I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on. The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.

When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, "My Mom gets up at four in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for three hours and presses all the linens for three hours and presses all the linens for the table."

That would mean I'd build a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, he'd say, "You're gonna love it here!"

As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we're doing it right. And one day it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible mothers.

So, here's to you, fellow cathedral builders. Remember, you're not in this alone.

When you feel invisible, remember He who promises to renew your strength sees everything you do. He can use it all and turn it all to good. Trust. Keep going in faith. Whether you know it or not, every day you are building people. (By the way, this doesn't stop once our children are grown and living their own lives.)

Peace and JOY,

Lenore



Encouragement for when we're scraping bottom

Have you ever said to yourself, "I've never done anything special and probably never will. The future looks like more of the same.  What's the point of going on?"

I haven't read The Noticer by Andy Andrews, but a quote I read makes me want to. According to a synopsis, the main character, Jones, tells a hopeless individual the reasons why he or she is still living: 

Hop1.  God has a purpose for every single person.

2.  You won't die until that purpose is fulfilled.

3.  If you are still alive, then you haven't completed what you were put on earth to do.

4.  If you haven't completed what you were put on earth to do, then your very purpose hasn't been fulfilled.

5.  If your purpose hasn't been fulfilled, then the most important part of your life is still ahead.

6.  You have yet to make your most important contribution.

(Chapter 6, pp. 83-85.)

I can't know what's going on in your life right now, nor you mine. But we're still walking around, so that means we haven't yet fulfilled our purpose.  That makes every day vitally important, doesn't it?

It doesn't matter if we look back on the past with yearning. It doesn't matter if we feel unsure about today or tomorrow. It doesn't even matter if at the moment we feel no hope.

Robert Browning put it this way:

"Grow old along with me! The best is yet to be, the last of life, for which the first was made. Our times are in his hand who saith, 'A whole I planned, youth shows but half; Trust God:  See all, nor be afraid!'"

Psalm 139:16 tells us: 

All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.

What will tomorrow bring? None of us can say. But we know we will have the strength to meet the challenges. God says so, in Deuteronomy 33:25: "As thy days, so shall thy strength be."    

So if today is "one of those days" and we're at a low point, it's time to look up from the pits and look past our problems.

You are alive and so am I. We cannot know how God already is using us in someone's life. We cannot predict how He will use us tomorrow, but He will.

Let's take a deep gulp of fresh air and get on with living.

Lovingly,

Lenore