A Woman's View

Encouragement for your down times

Listen to the news, talk to your neighbor or to your friend at church and chances are, you won't come away feeling optimistic. We live in troubling times. Most of us have taken some kind of financial hit. Many around us have lost their jobs--or fear they will.

Experts argue about root causes and symptoms and possible solutions, which may or may not make a difference. People like you and me feel the pain and wonder what comes next. 

Nobody knows. So we hunker down. Tomorrow might be (gulp!) worse. Maybe expecting the worst is the way to be ready for the next blow.

So we stand still and hang on tight.

That's about as exciting a way to live as being a plant stand.

Re-think your thinking

You and I cannot change the world, but we can change where we fasten our thoughts and my friends, it is time.

It is time.

Whatever our personal situations(s) may be, here's what we know for rock-bottom sure:

Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today and forever.    --Hebrews 13:8

Does that make us immune to a sense of loss when we or someone we love gets a pink slip or when investments for retirement shrink, along with our dreams for the future? Of course not. Get real.

The difference is we don't park in Pity Land. If anyone knew about suffering, it was the Apostle Paul. He wrote these words. (Try reading them aloud and listen with your heart.)

For God, who said, "Let light shine out of darkness," made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ. But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this is all-surpassing power is from God and not from us.

We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed ... Therefore, we do not lose heart.    --2 Corinthians 4:6-9, 16a

I confess, sometimes this "jar of clay" gets discouraged, too, even though I believe every word of these passages. That's why I love this phrase from Psalm 103:14:

. . . for he remembers that we are dust.

Whenever I start beating up on myself for not being the shining strong example of faith I want to be, I think of these wonderful words and remind myself I am only dust. Imperfect. Human. God knows my weaknesses and loves me, because I love Jesus. That means I can forgive myself and move on.

We see what we look for

Here's what God said to His people through Moses--and to you and me.

I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live and that you may love the LORD your God, listen to his voice and hold fast to him. For the LORD is your life . . .                                                                                                                                                             --Deuteronomy 30:19-20

This question is for me as much as for you: Which will you choose?

Comments, please.

Lovingly,

Lenore

What do you call yourself?

The words we choose to describe ourselves and our lives determine how we think of ourselves. Our view of ourselves dictates our view of life and
therefore, what's possible for our future.

I am not exaggerating.

While listening to a favorite radio show I heard a clear illustration of that. The host introduced his guest, a professional counselor, and spoke with her awhile. Then he opened the phone lines so people could question her. The topic of the day was, "Are you a victim?"

A couple of callers related tales of marital conflict, abuse, strained relations with parents and the like. Then came a woman who struggled to tell her story. "I am the victim of a rape and beating last year. That attacker ruined my life."

I could hear the pain in her voice and I couldn't tear myself away from listening.

After a few moments I took notes.

Asked whether she had family or friends, the caller said, yes, her family kept trying to reach out and her fiance still said he wanted to marry her.  "I don't want to see them--or anyone else," she said between sobs. "I know they simply pity me and I don't want their pity, so I don't go out.

"People tell me I'm depressed. I suppose it's true, but why wouldn't I be? My life was good and I had a good job. Now I can't work and I'll never be the same. Once you're a rape victim it changes everything."

Who could argue with that?

The next caller sounded strong and confident. She said, "I was raped, too. That followed years of being molested by my stepfather. Like your previous caller, I saw myself as a victim. I was so angry! I kept asking, why me? I hugged my pain around me like a warm blanket.

"Then one day I realized I had lost myself. So long as I considered myself 'the victim,' I locked out everything and everybody. I was tired of living that way. From that day on I built a new life. A better life.

"I want to say to the woman who just called, it's true you won't forget this. But you decide what you will do with this experience. You can rename it. Call it a bump in the road, which everyone has. If you stay in your present thinking you are letting this bump in the road become a fork in the road.

"Hitting a bump in the road can give you a bad jolt, but it doesn't have to stop you from your journey.

"See that one event as a fork in the road, however, and it changes the direction of your life. It means you turn away from who you were. Instead you choose to see yourself as injured. Damaged. Powerless.

"I know your pain, I really do. I hope you can hear me. Forgive me, I know it sounds harsh, but that awful man did not make you a victim. You're doing that all by yourself."

When she hung up, the radio host and the counselor said nothing for what seemed a long time.

I understood why.

Perhaps these two women sound like extreme examples and they are. I think their story clearly illustrates how what we think determines our lives.

Maybe some of us feel unworthy and unlovable today, for whatever reason. Then it's a good time to think on this Bible verse, which provides the remedy fo leaving the past in the past.

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he (she) is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!                                          --2 Corinthians 5:17

'Nuff said.

Lovingly,

Lenore

Finding Real Freedom in the Land of the Free

Fourth of July fireworks and patriotic songs reminded us we live in the land of the free. Are we living free?

And what does it mean to "live free," anyhow?                                   
Each of us will answer that differently. It took me years to understand that freedom comes from within, not from without. 

You may have been a fan of Nick Charles, the popular and much-acclaimed CNN sports announcer who recently died of cancer. He dearly loved his wife and doted on their five-year old daughter. Listen to what he told CNN's Dr. Sanjay Gupta not long before he died.

"I'm a forward looking person but also a living-in-the-moment person So I wake up every day expecting to have a good day. It may sound trite, Sanjay, but life as you get older is about 20 percent of what happens to you and about 80 percent how you react to it."

You've probably heard that said before. I have, too, but never with more power. 

If Nick Charles was a Christian, his words are understandable. Christians believe that faith in Jesus the Savior ensures us eternal life, so he would know will see his wife and child again.

Whatever his faith (or lack of it) Nick Charles spoke truth. How we react to what happens to us determines our lives. How we react depends on what's inside us, in the core of our being. That's what drives us. 

It took me a long time to grasp that. Then I read an old book, "Man's Search for Meaning,"  by the late Viktor Frankl, M.D., Ph.D.

Before World War II, Frankl, his wife and his parents lived the good life in Vienna. Then the Nazis invaded Austria. Like almost six million other Jews, they were sent to a Nazi concentration camp, separated, of course, and never saw each other again. Even Frankl's wedding ring was taken from him.

During those anguishing days in the Camp he realized a great truth. Here's how he summed it up.

"Everything can be taken from a man or a woman but one thing: the last of human freedoms to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way."                                                

Viktor Frankl in a death camp. Nick Charles close to death from cancer. Both of them in crisis mode and both said the same thing: We can't control everything in our lives, but we do control what we think about it.That dictates how we respond.

The Bible said ir first, in Proverbs 23:7:

            As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he . . .

We hang the labels on what happens to us.

We choose to park our minds in a lousy place or in a good place.

Young or old, rich or poor, in or out of crisis, to know this can change your life.

Take it from one who knows.

Lovingly,

Lenore

 

Flooding. Tornadoes. Misery. When challenges overwhelm, where do we turn?

Doesn't it seem like the cup of misery is overflowing lately? 

News reports continually feature shots of flooding along the rivers. Water  stretches for miles.

Every one of the homes now almost submerged was the center of family life not long ago. 

That water swirls with  mosquitoes, with snakes, some of them poisonous, and even a few alligators.

Those who've been flooded out and now live in shelters or with relatives can only watch and wait, knowing what they'll find when they get back in.

Thousands of acres of farmland are flooded, too Farmers can do nothing but wait, even though it's crucial for them to be able to get into their fields. If crops don't have a full growing season they won't be ready to harvest before the first killing frost.

Farmers can't forget how all this will affect their year's income. No crop, no income.

Then there are the tornadoes. You could snap photos like this all across the Midwestern and southern states. Destruction stretches for miles.

I won't say, "They lost everything," because it's not true. So long as their family members are alive and well, they have everything that matters, as so many of them said. 

But what can they do when their hearts are breaking? Where can they find strength to go on?

I only know one answer: Come to Jesus. Today I was on misery overload, so I did what I often do, played this Chris Rice song over and over. Somehow this song always speaks to my heart. I hope it blesses you, too.

Chris Rice, "Come to Jesus"

So, my friends, whatever challenges you face, may you find your answers in Jesus.

Peace and joy,

Lenore

As one woman told an interviewer, "It's all gone. Nothing will ever be the same."

If these scenes overwhelm you and me, think what it would be like to be in their shoes.

Ever thank God when things don't work out?

I can hear you saying, "What a silly question!"

Every one of us wants what we want, the way we want it. Plans that work out. Hard work that pays off. Loved ones that live godly, happy lives. Then we will give thanks.  
 
It seldom occurs to us to be thankful for things that don't work out. Trust me, they can be more important than what does.

The phone call that makes you a minute late, then you come upon a fresh auto accident on your usual route. The hunky guy who marries someone else, then turns out to be a jerk. The job you don't get in another firm, the business that goes bust within the year.

My husband and I know something about the last one. Some years back he got an unexpected job offer that seemed too good to be true. We talked and prayed and talked and prayed, checked out everything we could. We couldn't explain why, but it felt right. We turned our lives upside down because of it.

Before long we realized this "sure thing job" was anything but. The exciting start slowly fizzled out. This turned out to be a mismatch and always had been.

But we prayed. We trusted. Why, Lord?

Planted in this unfamiliar place we saw only uncertainty. No job alternatives beckoned, despite my husband's efforts, even though we prayed and read our Bibles like never before. We clung to God and to each other, watching our savings account dwindle, feeling bewildered.

Where are you, Lord?

With everything stripped away we grew, more than we knew at the time. I "found" some Bible verses that I clutched to my heart like a treasure. John 15:1-2, 3-4 seemed written just for us:

(Jesus said) "I am the true vine and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful . . . No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me."    

I had seen just-pruned grapevines. If those vines could talk they wouldn't be saying, "Thank you," for being hacked down to bleeding stumps.

Neither did we.

Then "out of the blue" came an opportunity for my husband in a field he never before had considered, right there in the place where we were. This turned out to be a perfect fit from the start and he began a long, satisfying career.

Why was I surprised?

God was protecting us all along, even when we felt most alone. Through that long wearing-down time we discovered that even when everything fell apart around us, we still trusted in the Lord. We couldn't have known then that our old dream had to die before His new one could be born.

What trips us up is that God may not answer our prayers in the way we expect. All He wants from us is that we keep on following in faith, even when we can't see the way ahead.

The One who knows the end before the beginning goes before us (Psalm 139)--and with us. He has it all covered. Even when dreams shatter, when it seems all is lost, even then.

Reason enough to thank Him . . .

Lovingly,

Lenore

Where can we go when disaster strikes in our world?

Nobody saw it coming. Catastrophes are like that.

This is the face of one woman in the aftermath of unimaginable horror, Japan's 9.0 earthquake and the devastating tsunami that quickly followed.

You and I have not lived what she experienced, but we know that face. We know those tears and those inner groans of, "Oh, please, not that!"

Our world can shake and crumble around us without an earthquake. We can be swamped and drowning without a tsunami.

All it takes is being given that diagnosis we never wanted to hear. Or a day when we wave goodbye to our husband or wife who never makes it home from work. A sports accident that turns our healthy, strong son or daughter into a paraplegic. The young adult child with so much potential who chooses a path we know will lead to unhappiness. The rumored pink slip that awaits us when we thought our job was safe. Home values that plummet and investments that tank when we thought we had saved up some money for the future.

Each of us has our own list. We watch, we cry, we pray. We scream, "Why?" into our long, sleepless nights. And we feel utterly helpless.

That's when we wear the same face as the woman in this photo, the face of fear and dread and hopelessness. She cannot escape her reality and neither can we.

But we can find refuge. Listen to the wonderful words of Psalm 46:1-3 and verse 7, followed by Isaiah 41:10:

God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.

Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way

and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,

though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging . . .

The LORD Almighty is with us;

the God of Jacob is our fortress . . .

So do not fear, for I am with you;

do not be dismayed, for I am your God.

I will strengthen you and help you;

I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

The hard truth of life is that we have no truly safe place here on this earth. No guarantees of a perfect life in this imperfect world.

No place to run except into the sheltering arms of God, who so loved the world that he sent his only Son to earth to die on a cross and live again. For you. For me.

In His strength we weather our storms and go on, leaning on the everlasting arms.

His peace,

Lenore

 

 

Half-full or half-empty?

How do you see the glass of your life? Is it half-full or half-empty?                                  

Every day of our lives, we choose. 

We can focus on what have or on what we lack. Give thanks for what is or wail about what is not.

Truth is, we decide what kind of life we're living.

That makes no sense, especially in the middle of a hard time, right?

Wrong. It makes perfect sense. Why make a bad situation worse by holding a never-ending pity party?

I know a woman who as a teenage girl heard her doctor announce, "You have Muscular Dystrophy. I'm sorry, but there is no treatment and there is no cure."

That was more than forty years ago. Since that dark day "Mary" has experienced the progressive weakening of her body. She and one of our daughters have been friends since both were in their twenties. Whenever I go to visit that daughter I also see Mary and I've observed the progression of her M. D. At this point she astounds her doctors just by being alive. In order to remain in her home she depends absolutely on the help of caregivers, family and friends.

They all love her. So do the paramedics who sometimes rush her to the hospital, as well as her doctors and nurses.

Why wouldn't they? Mary accepts the facts of her life without bemoaning her fate. Her smile is as wide as a house and her sense of humor never fails. Through it all, she maintains her feisty spirit and exudes life.

I never heard Mary complain. Her faith in a loving God remains strong and her eyes reveal the peace within her.

Mary spends her days in a motorized wheelchair and accepts various physical indignities calmly. Does she ever give in to frustration? Of course. She's no plaster saint. Does she take it out on caregivers and people who love her? Not by all accounts. Despair may come knocking, but if so, she apparently refuses to answer the door.

Her horizons broadened some years ago when friends installed a user-friendly E-mail program she could manage. She promptly became an E-mail champ, exchanging messages with people all over the country. Since she had unlimited time, she became the go-to person for Google research.

When holding books and newspapers on her own became impossible TV viewing seemed the only way to fill her days. Kindle changed all that. Once again the wider world opened up to her. Mary quickly became the authority on which new book(s) to read.

This past year her increasing weakness threatened to cut all this short. Then came the I-Pad. Now once someone places a stylus in each of her hands she can E-mail, watch movies or read a wide assortment of books, plus several newspapers.

Nevertheless, most of us would consider her glass half-empty. 

Not Mary. She focuses on the fullness of her life, the gift of modern technology and on friends and family who take her places and treat her with love. Mary would say she knows a blessing when she sees one.

Each of us deals with our own set of challenges and our own testings every day. Yet the question for us is the same as for Mary: How will we choose to perceive our lives?

One thing more. Mary calls on God to get her through her days. We can, too.

God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble . . . I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me.

--Psalm 46:1; Philippians 4:13

What do you think? Comments, please.

Here's to having eyes that see the fullness in our lives,

Lenore

Lessons for us from the Titanic

At first glance it seems like a reach to think there could be any connection between the Titanic and how you and I think. 

Not true.

The experts and the press pronounced the Titanic "invincible," even "unsinkable." They based these grandiose terms on the ship's new design. Its hull featured watertight compartments, so that even if the ship were damaged the water would be safely contained within compartments. 

Except the compartments turned out not to be so watertight after all.  

Soooo . . . What does that have to do with you and me? Just this. Every one of us can remember times when the unexpected made us crumple in pain. Pain in life is an inevitable part of being alive. We can't escape it any more than we can escape dust gathering on furniture.

The only control we have is how we handle what comes into our lives. That's where the comparison to the Titanic comes in.

A major factor in sinking the Titanic was that the water spilled over from one compartment into the next, all down the line. Our pain can slosh over into every part of our lives . . . unless we take control of it. What helps us stay afloat is to deliberately turn our thoughts to other people and other areas of our life, at least for part of the day.

Otherwise our pain will cast a cloud over everything and everyone in our lives. If we let that happen we'll miss the moments of joy--and they're just as real as the pain.

How do we do this? Centuries ago the Apostle Paul wrote these timeless words in Philippians 4:8:

Finally, brothers [and sisters,] whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things.

This verse is my go-to place when I feel overwhelmed. I read this listing again and again. Each time I feel calmed. It's like being reminded who I am and how I can reflect the Light within me into the dark places.

Or, using the Titanic analogy, those words help keep my watertight compartments watertight. More than that. They point me to the God who never leaves us and who gives us peace in-the-midst (Philippians 4:9.)

Question for you: What works for you? (Just click on the word "Comments" below.)

Blessings and love,

Lenore

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

She responds creatively to tough times and teaches us all

Suppose your middle-school child came home the first week and told you, "Well, today in band practice we played our pencils."

Would you believe that story?

That's exactly what Sacramento music teacher Donna Pool had some of her beginning band students doing at Arcade Fundamental Middle School. Maybe she took her cues from Professor Harold Hill in the musical, "The Music Man."

You're looking at a teacher who was determined enough to risk being called a fool. I'd call her a hero. See if you agree. 

Here's a synopsis of the story. This year at Arcade so many new students signed up for the new beginning band class that there weren't enough instruments for everyone. Did Donna Pool rant and rave? No. Did she blame funding cuts and tell her students to start carrying signs? No.

Instead she said they would work with what they had until they had more. Then she  began teaching them basic fingering, using pencils and ballpoint pens. 

The word got out. She was interviewed by the Sacramento Bee and local television news crews. Even CNN picked up the story.   
  
Instruments started pouring in from all over town and around the country, all they need and more. The excess will be added to the San Juan Unified School District's inventory. Anything over that they'll donate to other districts. (She encouraged callers to take their instruments to schools in their own communities.)

As for Donna Pool, apparently she remains refreshingly down-to-earth, even turning down an interview with NBC's Brian Williams. She attributed the lack of instruments to adding a new beginning band class this year, rather than budget cuts. However, she says, "Arts don't get enough money.  Schools don't get enough money."

Nevertheless, Pool must be doing something right. During her five years at the school the program has grown from 120 students to 190 students. Currently about a third of the school's 600 students play in one of their five bands. 

This is one of those win-win stories about people helping people that makes us smile, isn't it? I think we can draw a lesson or two for ourselves, as well.

• Instead of spending their energies bemoaning what they missed, Ms. Pool and her students sucked it up and found a way to make it work. We can, too.
• It's possible to keep moving toward our goal even when conditions are not what we would choose.
• Creative thinking can lead us down interesting paths--and sometimes that's just what's needed--so it's good to always have a Plan B ready.
• Doing unto others as we would have them do unto us has not perished from these United States.
• Helping others feels good.
• When we get involved we can make things better in our community and in other places.
• Money is not the answer to everything. 

 This story matters because at any age it's easy to get stuck in what's missing in our lives. We endlessly replay all the things we wish were different. 

That takes us nowhere.

My grandmother lived through her share of hard times and doing without. She used to say, "Do the best you can with what you got."

Not very good English, but that's exactly what Donna Pool did. She modeled that truth for her students and taught them a life lesson they won't forget.

It's still good advice. Whatever our age, whatever our situation, every one of us can lift our hearts by being on the watch for ways to contribute our time and efforts. 

Even if "all" we can do is pray for individuals who do a good job or give them a few words of encouragement now and then, that could mean the world to them. We'll be blessed, too.

And it won't cost us a cent.

Here's to stepping out in faith,

Lenore

Note: Photos are from the Sacramento Bee, which carries the full story on www.sacbee.com

 

 

Ever feel lost in the crowd?

Most of us do, at least now and then.

We feel no more distinctive than one tree in a thick forest. (Bob and I saw lots of that last week as we drove through the beautiful, green Pacific Northwest.)

Yet if we take time and look more closely we'll discover that each tree is unique in some way.

So are we.

Why do we so easily forget that?

Truth is, God made us one-of-a-kind for a reason. Our individual temperaments and personalities, our natural talents and abilities distinctively flavor our family, our church, our school, our community.

Perhaps we think what we add is insignificant. Then imagine trying to make a pumpkin pie without that "insignificant" quarter-teaspoon of cloves.

It's as if you are cloves, she is nutmeg and I am cinnamon. Leave out any one of those and your pumpkin pie will still be edible and probably even look the same. But it won't taste the same.

That's how it is in families, in a church, in any gathering of old friends. Something's missing when this one or that one isn't present.

You and I may never be able to identify which "spice" we sprinkle into the mix. But if we tell ourselves, "Well, I'm nothing special," we deny the obvious.

No one else can be us. No one else can replicate our presence or share the gift(s) within each one of us.

It helps to repeat that truth to ourselves however many times a day it takes until we believe it. And we need to plant that message deep within each child, whether our own or the one(s) we teach or care for.

Are we perfect? Of course not. We're only human, after all. A few of us may reach the heights, but most of us will go on day after day, simply being faithful.

(That's no small thing, in case you hadn't noticed. Ask anyone who longs for a friend or spouse they can count on, even when the going gets tough.)

As we recognize our strengths it's useful to jot them down and hang onto the list. Begin thanking God for them. Over time we'll begin to grasp the purpose for which they're given.

 Because there is a reason . . .

For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works,    which God prepared in advance for us to do.

                                                                                                     --Ephesians 2:10

If we can't identify our particular "good works," here's a surprise. They may be exactly what we're doing right this minute, simply the way we're living our lives. We can find clues if we think of those things we "feel like doing." Or we can examine the choices we make in what we do every day or what we volunteer for because "it sounds interesting." 

These will be as different as you and I are different. When we read that Ephesians verse we can feel comforted that we're right where we're supposed to be. At the same time we can be excited, because who knows what God has lined up for us next?

Therein lies the excitement of tomorrow.

Here's to living on tiptoe!

Lenore