My husband and I came out of families that watched every cent. My parents joked about pinching every penny until it squealed. In my husband's family the theme was:
"Use it up, wear it out. Make it do or do without."
As newlyweds we expected to do the same. With less.
Now we look back and see how those years of pulling together strengthened the glue in our marriage bond.
Each of us, married or single, needs support.
Most of us can name a number of people we know who feel stuck in hard times. If there's any sunlight in this present down economy, perhaps it's this. Misery may not love company, but there's something comforting in not feeling so alone.
Recycling and "re-purposing" and shopping thrift stores are hot topics. Discount stores and dollar stores feature crowds.
A lot of people share the same chummy boat.
Lowered expectations kept us from feeling sorry for ourselves
Our recently affluent society taught us all to consider what was billed as "the good life" to be the natural right of each one of us.
That delusion did no favors for anyone, especially when the economy turned shaky.
Perhaps now more than ever our family members and friends need from us what my husband and I got from the older-and-wiser people in our lives. They told us, "Give it some time. You're just starting out."
When disappointments came, somebody would come alongside and say, "Well, that's life. Be patient. Something will come along eventually, so keep on praying and trusting."
Sometimes we wanted to answer, "Oh, sure, easy for you to say."
Yet there they were, survivors, and that's what we wanted to be, too. So we took their words as hard-earned wisdom.
What mattered most, then as now, was that we were in it together
My husband and I started out with a big advantage. We loved each other and we both loved the Lord. That's what we built our life on.
Whatever came, we pulled together and tried to support each other. Along the way we picked up wisdom, too, and grew stronger, as individuals and as a married couple.
Those of us who've have lived awhile know the song in our hearts won't last if it depends on wealth or material possessions or even on "perfect" children.
Anything we can touch or hold in our hands can go poof! in an instant. As for perfect human beings, they have a distressing way of revealing occasional imperfections from time to time.
Call that a "trend" that won't go out of style.
Let's encourage each other
Life is easier to handle when someone tells us they care about us. Married couples can say it to each other and parents to their kids, whatever the age. Let's not stop there. What about the single person who doesn't have an on-site cheerleader?
Something as simple as, "I believe in you and I know God will get you through this," can lift a tired heart for days.
Even better, pass on a favorite Bible verse that encourages you. I like to underline verses in my Bible and I keep an informal list on the blank pages in the back, so it's ready when I need it.
Here are two of my favorite sections. Isaiah 40:27-31 promises that when we're weary the Lord will renew our strength. Jeremiah 29:11-13 tells us God has a plan for us, to give us a hope and a future.
Hope. This most valuable gift we can give costs us nothing. All it takes is that we turn our thoughts beyond ourselves. That we say to someone else the words we long to hear ourselves.
At the least we'll grow into an individual others like having around. And who knows? Perhaps we'll start a new trend.
Warmly,
Lenore
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