A Woman's View

Ready to step out into the unknown?

The beginning of a new year--any new beginning, really--feels a bit like stepping off a cliff.

Who knows what awaits us "out there?"

Every new situation brings a touch of uneasiness. Even if we think we've prepared for it, one question looms.

Will I be able to handle this?

All we can know for sure is that we haven't lived this year or this day before. Like explorers scouting new continents, day after day we'll travel through unknown territory.

Sure, we may stay in the same place, with the same people around us. But no human being is fixed and unchanging, like, say, a cardboard box. As long as we live and breathe, we're subject to change. So if you've been saying, "I suppose the future will just be more of the same," remember what Grandma used to say.

As long as there's life, there's hope.

Take time for the pause that makes sense of yesterday

It's worth taking time to reflect on where we've been. Snatch a little while out of the day to look back, either on your own or with your family. Replay the happy days and savor what was good. Let your heart be glad.

Let your heart be glad.

Ah, there's the rub. Even as Christians, some of us are afraid to feel good about anything in our lives, as if it might break some sort of spell. Some firmly believe they were born under a curse and refuse to think otherwise. If either description sounds too personal, it's worth asking why and tracing back to the source(s) of that mindset.

Even when we're consumed by loneliness, we are loved.

I will be glad and rejoice in your love, for you saw my affliction and knew the anguish of my soul.    --Psalm 30:7

Sometimes looking back hurts

For all of us, some times were not so good.Perhaps it's been a year of pain, either from circumstances or from what others inflicted on us. We just want to forget.

It's more useful to resolve to not waste the hard stuff of life. Scrape off the bandagesyou plastered over your wounds and examine them. Uncover what you learned about yourself. Often you'll realize you displayed more inner strength than you previously knew you had. For just awhile, bask in your new awareness of that hard-earned inner stamina and thank God for His transforming power within you.

You say you blew it sometimes? We all do, simply because we're imperfect human beings. Beating up on ourselves just beats us down.

What helps most is to pray for courage to humbly ask forgiveness. It's never too late, truly. Whether the other person hears us is beyond our control. Make amends if it's possible to do so. Then give the whole bundle to God, knowing He can restore, even when broken relationships seem irretrievable. Knowing for sure that Jesus died for all our sins enables us to forgive others in the same way.

Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.          ---Colossians 3:13

Through every day and every experience, as we grow, our faith grows. All it takes is a teachable heart. Then life deepens our understanding of God, as we look for--and see--His hand in everything.

What we know about the future is that it remains always unknown. Oh, we know two more things, the most important. We are loved and we  will not walk through it alone.  

The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing.                                                                                        --Zephaniah 3:17

So, my friends, let's step off into tomorrow with excitement and with joy!

Lovingly,

Lenore

 

How to keep a sure footing when the daily news drags us down

Sometimes current events and talk of happenings far away have wider meaning for you and me.

Recent headlines, talk shows and late-night comedians endlessly replayed the sleazy actions of a New York congressman. Some people felt genuine outrage. Others said, "Well, nobody's perfect." Reactions are all over the place.

No surprise. Long ago commonly accepted standards for "right" and "wrong" got tossed aside. In their place we plugged in whatever seems right. To you. To me. 

This conveniently enables us, no matter what the behavior, to say, "If it feels good, do it," or "Well, I would never do that, but it's not my life."

So any public figure can trot out the tired old line, "I did nothing illegal," and consider it an excuse.

What does this have to do with our lives?

A lot of people say, "Aw, who cares? Politics, show biz, professional sports. These people don't live in our world." 

Oh, yes, they do. They and their opinions and actions play out before us on our family room TVs. If what's on-screen doesn't matter, why did books featured on the Oprah Book Club become instant best-sellers?

Inevitably, what we see and hear in the media colors our thinking. Words and phrases that once shocked now don't even make us blink. Why would we expect youngsters and teens to be immune?

We can't protect our kids from the world, but it's reassuring to note that studies show young people still look to their parents and older family members as role models and reference points. (Don't expect them to admit it.) 

We can't protect our kids from the world, but we can do our best to give them a solid grounding in what's good and right and true.

That means we need to be solid and clear on what we think and believe.

Check the Manufacturer's Handbook

Many people say, "Restrictions. Who needs 'em?"

That's a popular view of the Ten Commandments (Exodus 20:1-16.)  It makes more sense to think of these verses as God's basic operating instructions for how to live happily and function at our best.

Think of them as a plumb line for living.

The first time I hung wallpaper I had no clue what a plumb line was. Why would anyone take time to use a level or a string with a weight on the end of it just to draw a straight line? Why bother?
 
I found out.

When I arrived back where I started, my last strip of wallpaper did not match up with the first. Although I hung the wallpaper with great care, the design had been drifting uphlll as I went along--and I never noticed.

That's the way we are without an unchanging standard to live by.

None of us can live up to those Commandments perfectly. Despite our best efforts, we will blow it now and then. That's why Jesus came, to set us right with God.

(Jesus said) "I am the way, the truth and the life. No one can come to the Father except through me."                                                                      John 14:6-7

All we need to do is ask. That's why they call the Gospel, the Good News of Jesus.

Peace and joy,

Lenore    

Get your kids ready for life in the real world

This time of year most older high-schoolers--and their parents--are tied up in knots about what comes next.

Everyone wants to make the absolutely right choice.

College graduates are tense, too, looking for the absolutely perfect job.

That could be a long wait.

Recent graduates often feel dumped out in a world that's nothing like the dream they bought with their student loans. Some resign themselves to any job they can get that includes a regular paycheck. Others keep chasing their ideal.

Life is hard. How many of us tell our kids that beforehand?

1. Tell your kids the truth.

One columnist noted that today's graduates grew up with parents who continually asked, "How does that make you feel, Honey?"

The world of employment offers a rude shock. Bosses seldom ask newbies, "How do you feel about that?"

Employers want the job done well, on time. They concentrate on the bottom line. Unless their business thrives and turns a profit, there's no money to stay in business.

Or issue paychecks.

We do our kids no favor when we groom them to expect life should feel cozy and warm, like a mommy's hug.

2. Be a true friend to your kids

A good friend speaks truth, even when we don't want to hear it. Our children deserve the same from us.

Most of us learned the no-nonsense foundation for success along the way. In school, in the job world, or even in our personal lives, here's the formula:

W-O-R-K.

Sounds hopelessly outdated, doesn't it?

Especially since commencement speakers--and parents--tell young people, "Follow your bliss! Live for your dreams! Refuse to settle for less than what makes you happy!"

Then someone will bring up Facebook founder, Mark Zuckerberg, a billionaire at age twenty-seven.

Reality check: How many Mark Zuckerbergs do you know personally?

3. Plant good seeds, so your kids can harvest good fruit.

Love your children enough to speak lasting truth. Even in a dream job, they will have to prove themselves.

Most employees start at the bottom. It will be a slow climb from there.

They will not like parts of it. Guaranteed. Life is hard, remember? This is what hard looks like.

A runner talked of training for a track meet. "Runners know you must keep your eyes on your goal. If you waver and look down at the track your energy goes to what's under your feet and you will lose the race."

To build a strong career, marriage or family we can't allow small annoyances to get us down. We fasten on what we want to have and let the other stuff go.

4. A good life does not depend on having every dream come true.

Stay with lasting truth to effect quality of life: Happiness comes from how we look at life, not from wealth and achievements.

Better one handful with tranquillity than two handfuls with toil and chasing after the wind.

                                                                                        Ecclesiastes 4:6

Now there's a gift that keeps on giving.

Peace and joy,

Lenore

Can searching for happiness leave us depressed?

Have you ever known someone who constantly takes a reading on their state of happiness?  

Am I happy today? Am I as happy as I could be? If not, why not? Is it his fault? Her fault?

Something must be wrong, or I would be happy all the time. I must be depressed. Maybe I need to see someone so I can get over my depression. All I really want is to be happy!

A new study from the University of Denver reached an unlikely conclusion: The more strongly a person wants to be happy the more likely the person will be unhappy.

Even more surprising, those with the highest desire to be happy and the least amount of stress in their lives rated themselves more unhappy in every measure. 

That doesn't sound right, does it?

Researchers finally concluded that people with a lot of stress and difficulty in their lives don't expect to be happy, so they're not disappointed when they're not. It seems they have more pressing things to think about than Am I happy today?

Another finding: Those who care for others and do more for others rate themselves higher on the happiness scale than those who don't.

I suspect you and I are not so different from the women who participated in that study.

When things are going well and we have more leisure, we wonder more often how we look and how does this dress fit and how can we get our husbands to be more romantic. We fret about whether the two of us are really "communicating."

Simply put, we have time to focus on our flaws--and everyone else's deficiencies, too. Real or imagined, these pesky little "gnats" keep our "picnic" from being as perfect as we think it should be.

That's when we begin to wonder if we're "really happy."

I heard a marriage and family counselor in private practice say she's noticed a trend in her clients. Right away they announce they are depressed. When she asks how they know that, they answer, "Because I want to be happy more than anything and I should be, because there's nothing really wrong with my life. But some days I'm just not happy. So something must be wrong. I must be depressed and need counseling, probably medication, too."

This counselor said the biggest hurdle is getting most of her clients to understand that nobody lives a life that's 100 percent happy, 365 days a year. She said once they do, they suddenly see more good in their lives.

(Please understand that I know depression can be serious and hard to treat. I in no way mean to minimize the real pain that individuals feel.)

I think this counselor's comments point to an important truth. We do our children no favors when we tell them they should be happy all the time. For every human being, some days are good, some not so much. Helping our kids understand that gets them ready for life.

Great Grandma would have called that elementary common sense. 

Even the writer of Ecclesiastes talked about it, in 7:14:

When times are good, be happy; but when times are bad, consider: God has made the one as well as the other.

I love that. Whatever comes, God is in the midst of it and we do not walk alone.

Now there's something to lift our spirits, every day.

Lovingly,

Lenore

Where can we go when disaster strikes in our world?

Nobody saw it coming. Catastrophes are like that.

This is the face of one woman in the aftermath of unimaginable horror, Japan's 9.0 earthquake and the devastating tsunami that quickly followed.

You and I have not lived what she experienced, but we know that face. We know those tears and those inner groans of, "Oh, please, not that!"

Our world can shake and crumble around us without an earthquake. We can be swamped and drowning without a tsunami.

All it takes is being given that diagnosis we never wanted to hear. Or a day when we wave goodbye to our husband or wife who never makes it home from work. A sports accident that turns our healthy, strong son or daughter into a paraplegic. The young adult child with so much potential who chooses a path we know will lead to unhappiness. The rumored pink slip that awaits us when we thought our job was safe. Home values that plummet and investments that tank when we thought we had saved up some money for the future.

Each of us has our own list. We watch, we cry, we pray. We scream, "Why?" into our long, sleepless nights. And we feel utterly helpless.

That's when we wear the same face as the woman in this photo, the face of fear and dread and hopelessness. She cannot escape her reality and neither can we.

But we can find refuge. Listen to the wonderful words of Psalm 46:1-3 and verse 7, followed by Isaiah 41:10:

God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.

Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way

and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,

though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging . . .

The LORD Almighty is with us;

the God of Jacob is our fortress . . .

So do not fear, for I am with you;

do not be dismayed, for I am your God.

I will strengthen you and help you;

I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

The hard truth of life is that we have no truly safe place here on this earth. No guarantees of a perfect life in this imperfect world.

No place to run except into the sheltering arms of God, who so loved the world that he sent his only Son to earth to die on a cross and live again. For you. For me.

In His strength we weather our storms and go on, leaning on the everlasting arms.

His peace,

Lenore

 

 

Lessons for us from the Titanic

At first glance it seems like a reach to think there could be any connection between the Titanic and how you and I think. 

Not true.

The experts and the press pronounced the Titanic "invincible," even "unsinkable." They based these grandiose terms on the ship's new design. Its hull featured watertight compartments, so that even if the ship were damaged the water would be safely contained within compartments. 

Except the compartments turned out not to be so watertight after all.  

Soooo . . . What does that have to do with you and me? Just this. Every one of us can remember times when the unexpected made us crumple in pain. Pain in life is an inevitable part of being alive. We can't escape it any more than we can escape dust gathering on furniture.

The only control we have is how we handle what comes into our lives. That's where the comparison to the Titanic comes in.

A major factor in sinking the Titanic was that the water spilled over from one compartment into the next, all down the line. Our pain can slosh over into every part of our lives . . . unless we take control of it. What helps us stay afloat is to deliberately turn our thoughts to other people and other areas of our life, at least for part of the day.

Otherwise our pain will cast a cloud over everything and everyone in our lives. If we let that happen we'll miss the moments of joy--and they're just as real as the pain.

How do we do this? Centuries ago the Apostle Paul wrote these timeless words in Philippians 4:8:

Finally, brothers [and sisters,] whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things.

This verse is my go-to place when I feel overwhelmed. I read this listing again and again. Each time I feel calmed. It's like being reminded who I am and how I can reflect the Light within me into the dark places.

Or, using the Titanic analogy, those words help keep my watertight compartments watertight. More than that. They point me to the God who never leaves us and who gives us peace in-the-midst (Philippians 4:9.)

Question for you: What works for you? (Just click on the word "Comments" below.)

Blessings and love,

Lenore

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Of music and hope and seeing the beauty in life . . . no matter what

I met the most amazing woman the other day. She unexpectedly dropped into my Email inbox and once she told her story, I couldn't forget it.

I think it's safe to say you won't forget her, either. For one thing, how often do you meet an individual who is age 106 and still plays Scrabble? Yes, you read that correctly. Alice Herz-Sommer is age 106. In fact, she turns 107 this month.

She is . . .  But why not let Alice tell her story in her own words? I encourage you to settle back in your chair and prepare to be entranced. If at the beginning you find her accent difficult, hang in there. After a few seconds you won't notice it. Now just click on the arrow and float away.

For all of us, sometimes life, with its obstacles and challenges and disappointments, seems discouraging, even overwhelming. From now on I'll only have to think of Alice to realize how blessed I've been--and still am.

Although Alice's story is unique, I think she has a message for all of us, for all time: Life is beautiful! 

Those three words apply, no matter what's going on in our lives. Let's have the good sense to really understand this now. It's as the Psalmist said, centuries ago:

This is the day the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it. --Psalm 118:24

Here's to "living it up" and making the most of every day,

Lenore

Question for you: How did Alice's story touch you?

(Late addtion: My apologies, but the (better) YouTube clip I originally included was suddenly "withdrawn by the user," whatever that means. It seems to be inaccessible from any site. So I'm including a new link here, from The Guardian in London. This one is not as long, but you can hear Alice speaking and also playing her piano. Onceit ends you'll notice other YouTube video thumbnails are shown, such as a two-part BBC TV interview. You can read Alice's story in print at  http://nickreedent.com/   which is the website of the maker of the soon-to-be-released documentary about Alice Herz-Sommer.

Ever feel lost in the crowd?

Most of us do, at least now and then.

We feel no more distinctive than one tree in a thick forest. (Bob and I saw lots of that last week as we drove through the beautiful, green Pacific Northwest.)

Yet if we take time and look more closely we'll discover that each tree is unique in some way.

So are we.

Why do we so easily forget that?

Truth is, God made us one-of-a-kind for a reason. Our individual temperaments and personalities, our natural talents and abilities distinctively flavor our family, our church, our school, our community.

Perhaps we think what we add is insignificant. Then imagine trying to make a pumpkin pie without that "insignificant" quarter-teaspoon of cloves.

It's as if you are cloves, she is nutmeg and I am cinnamon. Leave out any one of those and your pumpkin pie will still be edible and probably even look the same. But it won't taste the same.

That's how it is in families, in a church, in any gathering of old friends. Something's missing when this one or that one isn't present.

You and I may never be able to identify which "spice" we sprinkle into the mix. But if we tell ourselves, "Well, I'm nothing special," we deny the obvious.

No one else can be us. No one else can replicate our presence or share the gift(s) within each one of us.

It helps to repeat that truth to ourselves however many times a day it takes until we believe it. And we need to plant that message deep within each child, whether our own or the one(s) we teach or care for.

Are we perfect? Of course not. We're only human, after all. A few of us may reach the heights, but most of us will go on day after day, simply being faithful.

(That's no small thing, in case you hadn't noticed. Ask anyone who longs for a friend or spouse they can count on, even when the going gets tough.)

As we recognize our strengths it's useful to jot them down and hang onto the list. Begin thanking God for them. Over time we'll begin to grasp the purpose for which they're given.

 Because there is a reason . . .

For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works,    which God prepared in advance for us to do.

                                                                                                     --Ephesians 2:10

If we can't identify our particular "good works," here's a surprise. They may be exactly what we're doing right this minute, simply the way we're living our lives. We can find clues if we think of those things we "feel like doing." Or we can examine the choices we make in what we do every day or what we volunteer for because "it sounds interesting." 

These will be as different as you and I are different. When we read that Ephesians verse we can feel comforted that we're right where we're supposed to be. At the same time we can be excited, because who knows what God has lined up for us next?

Therein lies the excitement of tomorrow.

Here's to living on tiptoe!

Lenore

 

Let's not go A.W.O.L. from our lives

Maybe that sounds silly, but I'm guessing we all do it. 

How often do we fall into bed exhausted, wondering where the day went? It's as if we went through the past 24 hours on autopilot. We flip over a new calendar page and try to remember what we did during the thirty days now past. 

Someone said it well, "Life is not a dress rehearsal."

Each of us gets only one take on today.

Even though we're breathing in and out, we can be oblivious, completely wrapped up in our thoughts, tied up on the computer or watching television.

I plead guilty. How about you?

Or we tune out the people in our lives. Parents scold teenagers because they can be in the same room but text each other rather than talking. Grownups do the same thing, but we don't use a keyboard. We simply switch off our minds and look past each other. 

Even in marriage we can run on parallel tracks, each of us concentrating on what interests us, blind to each other's concerns. That can feel achingly lonely, as if we simply wave at each other as we pass in the hall.

Then there's multitasking. Busy people assume we can multitask and get more done. Researchers tell us that because we're not focused we accomplish less. Our brains bop back and forth between tasks, never giving full attention to either one. That leads to mindless errors for, but . . . let's not talk about that. 

So what's the answer?

For me, once again I'm reminding myself that this day is the one I'm living

To be precise, I only live this one minute, then the next. Apparently, I like the way Psalm 90:12 reads in the New Living Translation:

Teach us to make the most of our time, so that we may grow in wisdom.

Life is too precious to miss! So once again I recommit to paying attention and making the most of my time.

Maybe this time I won't forget.

Here's to being present while we're present,

Lenore

Question for you: Do you struggle with this? Or have you overcome it? Then tell us how! Just click on the word, "Comments," at the end and follow directions.

 

 

How's Life Treating You?

Maybe the better question for us is, "How are we treating life?"

That is, what label do we paste on our days?

We all do it, of course. So often we fixate on what's "wrong" and miss what's right. (Or am I the only one who does that?)

We do it with the people in our lives, too. Take the person we fell in love with and married, the one who stays and keeps on loving us. That's cause for celebration right there because, let's face it, sometimes we're not that easy to live with.

Do we throw a party for the honoree? Nope. We nit-pick and nag about small habits that bug us. We whine that we don't feel appreciated for who we are . . . 

How do I know this? Guess.

Incidentally, we can do the same with our kids, even when they're grown and gone. We develop selective sight, seeing all the ways they need to change and being blind to what they do that's worthy of praise. 

Not surprisingly, we do that with our life, too. We pick out things we wish were different and ignore what's good. 

Too often I'd have to plead guilty. How about you?

Years ago I heard a New Year's Day sermon that urged us to jot down a two or three point formula and resolve to change. I know from experience it makes a difference . . . when I remember to do it.

Here's the simple formula:

1.  Leave the past at the cross.

2.  See the good.

3.  Speak the good.

4. Ask God to develop this attitude within me.

It's never too late to make a U-turn, so here goes, yet again.

I'd love to know what you think. Simply click on the word "Comments" in the small print at the bottom and take it from there.

Here's to being good learners,

Lenore