A Woman's View

Mother love that strengthens our children

You've probably seen that TV commercial of the mother and her college-bound daughter in the cell phone store.  

Both of them talk and weep at the same time, so their words get lost. Daughter tries to reassure her "Hover Mother" they won't be out-of-touch, while the (male) clerk remains mystified.                                                        

Google "hover mothers" or "helicopter parents" and you'll find pages of reading from all over on this hot topic

Hovering starts early

One account described parents who carefully choose a safe neighborhood near schools. Then they declare it's "too dangerous" for their children to walk or bicycle to school alone. They say, "I just want to be sure you're safe, Honey."

What would any normal child conclude? Life is scary.

Maybe that accounts for the twice-daily traffic jams In our quiet, low-crime community at the beginning and end of every school day. Sunshine or rain, cars line up for blocks along tree-lined streets. Watchful moms--and some dads--wait near the crossing guards, ready to walk their kids home. (Parents of middle- and high-school students wait down the street, as instructed.)

Good intentions may be misguided

Planting fear makes children feel powerless. 

Our call as loving parents is to help our kids grow strong within themselves.

Instead of hovering, we get our child ready for the "what ifs" of life. Talking it through and offering specific actions can produce courage and calm thinking, like youngsters in news stories who escaped harm by running away, screaming loudly or calling 911.

Somebody helped them be mentally prepared.

Love doesn't gallop to the rescue every time our child calls. Take the youngster with a habit of "forgetting" crucial homework or even lunch. No more lectures. No more temper. First comes a warning, then one rescue. After that Mom says, "Sorry, Sweetie. You're on your own. Talk to your teacher and see what you can work out."

Call it tough, or label it a taste of how the world works. A learning step toward being responsible.

We stay tuned, but from a distance. It's as if we hold up a sign that reads, "We believe in you!" If they stumble, we pick 'em up, give 'em a hug and encourage them to try again.

As Christian moms we want our child's long-term best. Working through situations like this on their own imparts the sense they can deal with whatever comes.

Our mission as parents is to love our kids and let them go

Teens and young adults learn to make wise decisions by (sometimes) making unwise decisions. We allow them to try--and sometimes fail--and learn.

Is this easy? No! Sometimes it feels like the hardest thing we've ever done. The near-hysterical mom in the cell phone commercial would be the type who delivers daily wake-up calls to her child's dorm room. (Yes, it happens.)

Moms feel separation anxiety, too. We look at the years we invested in protecting our child, wanting to make sure she grows up with only happy memories. We wonder how our beautiful children can get along on their own.

If not before, now's the time.

Setting our children free, ready and willing to live without us, bestows a love gift that keeps on giving.

Moms never stop praying

We love our children best when we leave "hovering" to the One who knows the end before the beginning. He never takes His watchful eyes off our loved ones and He knows what they need most. Our task is to keep on praying and trusting.

Here's a Bible verse to encourage us:

. . . The prayer of a righteous [mother} is powerful and effective.       --James 5:16  NIV  (If you don't feel "righteous enough," read Romans 3:22-24 and 5:19.)

Lovingly,

Lenore

 

 

If you're an imperfect mom, this one's for you

Welcome! You're among friends who understand each other. Comfortable? Good. Now, let's talk.

Take it from one who knows, children can survive imperfect parenting. 

I don't know about you, but I started off with the delusion that I would be a mom who did all the right things "right." I would be always smiling and sunny, always patient, always wise. Maybe every new mother cherishes that impossible dream.

Yet no matter how hard I tried, I kept "failing." I was like that duck in the cartoon, calm on the outside and paddling furiously underneath.

I remember those years as one long, unending prayer: "Lord, please help me." And day by day, sometimes moment by moment, we all got through those years together.

Too bad it took me so long to learn the most important word in a mom's vocabulary: Relax. It's an imperfect world and we're all imperfect moms and it's gonna be okay.

If I could have glimpsed the future 

I would have caught a peek at so much joy. Our family numbers eighteen now--and growing. Although separated by miles, we're close in heart.

Last spring we spent four days with seventeen of us in the same rented house away from town, cooking and eating all our meals together.For some it had been years, so we all got reacquainted, especially our grandchildren, now young adults.

Oh, did I mention we all have strong opinions? About everything?

That many people in the same house for a few days could be trouble, so my husband and I prayed beforehand for family harmony. Happily, it seemed everyone else wanted the same thing and peace reigned. Each one talked of their sense of belonging and what family meant to them. They still do.

Put simply, we enjoyed each other. Nearby tourist attractions beckoned, but nobody wanted to leave. It was nonstop laughter, talking and teasing. Mingling and pairing off. Hugging. My husband and I smiled so much our cheeks hurt.

An old formula for strong relationships still works

I've read a ton of books and articles about parenting. The common theme in so many boiled down to one basic principle: How we treat each other matters. That either draws people together or leaves deep hurts.

Hmm. Doesn't that sound remarkably like this teaching?

Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. --Luke 6:31

We're to look through the other person's eyes and treat each other with respect and kindness. Within the family it flows both ways between parents and children. Our actions and our words create the world we live in.

Respect builds a bridge to carry us through tense times when we don't feel loving.

That implies we accept each other's quirks, too. We do that with friends. Can't we do the same with family?

Love looks like that.

I fail, you fail, we all fail

So we give up the blaming and lay aside past stumbles. Instead, we fasten on verses of hope like these, God talking to His people in Isaiah 43:18-19:

Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! . . . I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland.   

We're His people, too. God's "new thing"can heal and restore. Once it permeates our hearts and minds we'll give up dreaming of perfection and love our own as they are. Perhaps we'll even accept and forgive our imperfect selves.

Every day is mother's day, because being a mom is a privilege and a purpose. Besides, it keeps us growing. For life.

Here's to finding JOY in each day!

With love from your fellow learner,

Lenore

A lift for moms--and all of us

Sometimes tales from long ago refresh our hearts with hope and truth. This is one of those stories.

Once long ago a mother in the country we know as Algeria watched her brilliant 16-year old son walk out of her life.

Worse yet, he renounced the Christian faith in which she raised him. Nothing she said could change his mind.

She thought her heart would break.

Predictably, the young man took up with the wrong crowd and indulged himself in worldliness, even fathering an illegitimate child at age 18.

His mother, Monica, did what moms have done ever since Eve. She wept and prayed and prayed and wept.

For more than a decade young Augustine pursued the teachings of famous philosophers of the time in an effort to explore all things intellectual and thus achieve happiness.

Instead, he experienced recurring bouts of severe depression and grief.

His thirtieth birthday came and went and still he searched. Still his mother wept and prayed.

Finally he scraped bottom. One day he fell on his face in despair, sobbing, and cried out to God. Then it seemed he heard a child's voice chanting, "Take and read. Take and read."

He opened a Bible to Romans 13 and read verses 13-14. At once his heart was changed.

Augustine soon was was baptized and became a strong believer in Christ. Not so long after that, his mother Monica died, her heart at peace.

That same man, once the despair of his mother, wrote these timeless words

God loves each of us as if there were only one of us.

Thou hast created us for Thyself and our hearts are restless until they find their rest in Thee.

Seek not to understand that you may believe, but believe that you may understand.

The years of pain and wandering worked spiritual depth in Augustine and it comes through in his writings.

He turned his superb mind to learning more about Jesus and pondering what faith meant and authored many books still treasured by believers. 

This story still speaks--to each of us, whatever our life situation 

Nuggets of truth leap out at us.

• Never give up! Not on anyone or any situation. You've heard me quote Jeremiah 32:27 before:

        "I am the LORD, the God of all mankind. Is anything too hard for me?"

• If you're a mom, never doubt what your love and your faith are worth to your child.

Your tender, loving care of your children helps them grow into themselves. As you model faith, they notice, even when they seem oblivious.

We are called as moms to be faithful. To reach out, even when we're not sure anyone sees or hears. To make the first move, again and again and again. To keep on praying and yes, sometimes, to keep on shedding tears.

To never give up.

Our loving Father knows. He cares. And He uses all of it, all our pains and all our griefs. Within our children.

Within us.

God bless you with His strength and peace, my friends,

Lenore

Moms, did you know cinnamon could be dangerous?

We moms pray for our kids all their lives, that God would keep them safe. But have you ever prayed about cinnamon?

Yep. Turns out it has become a real danger for preteens and teens.        

Oh, it's not the cinnamon on a yummy breakfast roll or a piece of fragrant cinnamon toast that  causes problems. 

Rather, it's "the cinnamon challenge," which at first sounds silly and harmless, like many acttivities that catch on with adolescents.

This one goes beyond risky to extremely dangerous.

How could common, wonderful-smelling cinnamon be a hazard? Melissa Arca, M.D., laid out the facts in her Sacramento Bee article of April 10, 2012.

According to Dr. Arca, the cinnamon challenge amounts to a public dare--and what adolescent can resist a dare? That's part of the problem. The other part is it doesn't sound particularly hazardous, even to adults. What could be so bad about swallowing a simple tablespoon of dry cinnamon in under 60 seconds without drinking anything?

Here's the catch. Cinnamon cannot be dissolved by saliva alone.

Dr. Arca says once a person has that much dry cinnamon in their mouth and tries to swallow it, gagging and choking immediately follow. What's more, the choking usually leads to vomiting and sometimes, to aspirating cinnamon into the lungs. Lung collapse may follow, or pneumonia. Some who try it even end up on a ventilator. Kids with asthma are extremely vulnerable and could experience a severe attack.

She advises immediate medical intervention, which strikes me as an unrealistic statement. What kid would try this while their pediatrician--or parent--stands nearby?

Because Dr. Arca stated that poison control centers report a recent spike in calls about the cinnamon challenge, I checked the website of the American Association of Poison Control Centers.

They AAPCC issued a press release warning dated March 28, 2012. In it they explain that powdered or ground cinnamon quickly coats the mouth and throat, which interferes with swallowing . Breathing difficulty follows and teens may unintentionally breathe the spice into their lungs. This can cause pneumonia and/or a serious attack for asthmatics.

Social media takes it viral. Again 

Predictably, teens and preteens want to post "funny" videos of themselves or someone else attempting to pull it off on their cell phones or on YouTube.

That's why you can Google "the cinnamon challenge." It has its own website, Facebook page and Twitter handle.

Even Wikipedia lists "cinnamon challenge." That entry notes that cinnamon contains coumarin, a moderately toxic chemical compound. It also notes that European health agencies have warned against ingesting "large amounts" of cinnamon.

We might write this off as a fad, just more amusing antics of the young if it weren't life-threatening.

Building in strength to resist dares like these 

Most parents, grandparents and caregivers already warn youngsters over and over about the need to be cautious and careful. Every day in every way.

(As you've probably noticed, kids specialize in tuning out such lectures.)

It seems to me a more hellpful strategy is to aim our efforts at helping our kids develop inner strength--and the sooner, the better. That means talking to our children from little on about making good choices.  It helps if they see us living this out ourselves.

No way can we keep our kids in a cage, like exotic birds. They're growing up in the real world. Moms and dads need to equip them to live in it.

Teach them the line you probably heard from your mom:

It doesn't matter what someone else does or says, it's up to YOU to choose what you will do. 

It's as true now as ever.

Talk empowerment instead of restrictions

Especially during their adolescent years, youngsters ache to belong. Some habitually look around them to see what others are doing, then mimic it. Blame it on the desire to be popular or on fear of being left out. 

At any age, real strength and freedom come from within, from quietly knowing who we are and what we stand for. If our children have a faith background they'll have an advantage during adolescence. Christian kids learn early on about the difference between right and wrong. They also hear often that God loves and forgives them even when they mess up.  

Helping our kids establish and rely on their inner standards is like equipping them with inner armor. Knowing what's good and right and true gives them a sure path through the hazards that lurk all through these preteen and teen years.

Hazards like the cinnamon challenge, all the things youngsters will view as fun, nothing more.

Maybe that's why we keep on praying.

Blessings,

Lenore

To spank or not to spank, that is the question

Mention the word, "spanking," and people go ballistic.

One loving parent says, "I think spanking is barbaric!" Another, just as loving, says, "Sometimes spanking is the only way I can get their attention."

Surveys indicate a majority of young children in this country are spanked regularly.

Experts and professionals who show up on TV and write articles in magazines mostly rail against the evils of spanking. They often cite studies that seem to prove

physical punishment leads children to become more aggressive.

One "doctor mom" who writes in our local newspaper believes children should not be spanked. Period.

You and I read articles like this and think, Well, she ought to know." 

All parents need to do, she says, is practice positive reinforcement and validate the child's feelings. As an example she explains even 2-year olds can understand--once you explain--why they must not touch a hot stove. You listen, you allow them their feelings,  you set boundaries and voila! 

Why parents sometimes feel threatened

A mom told about taking her three rambunctious boys to McDonald's. They did what preschool boys always do. Jabbed and poked and teased in the waiting area and swung on the shiny railing.

Once they got settled in their booth, the boys started in again. Kicking under the table. Older brothers calling the youngest a baby" and him whimpering. Trying to gross each other out, which called for a collective, "Eww!"

Then she noticed everyone else in the place watching them and frowning, clearly disapproving.

"Rick wanted to settle them down with a little swat on their behinds. I really thought one of that crowd might report us to Child Protective Services, so we gathered up our food and kind of slinked out."

For the record . . .

My husband and I agreed spankings would be rare at our house and they were. Each of our four girls, however, got at least one.

We lived along a straight-shot country road with a dip in it, so drivers would not have seen a toddler in time to stop. With a roomy fenced yard, our kids had plenty of room to run. That's why every single day I warned them, "You must not go outside the yard! Do you understand me?"

And every one of them stole out of our yard at least once.

So I would swoop down on our pint-size adventurer and administer five or six swats right away. It wasn't anger that drove me, but fear for their lives. I had to be able to trust these little girls would stay in our roomy, well-fenced yard, even when I wasn't on hand.

By then we both would be crying. I would hug her and kiss her and not bring it up again.

Know the "why" and know yourself

Spanking our children is hard--and it should be, I think. And we need to be sure we're not just trying to show we're bigger and more powerful than our kids.

I know now that it was good we kept spankings rare in our family. Our girls got the message that Mommy and Daddy are in charge and family rules are meant to be kept.

(P.S. It's good to get that established early, while you're the tall one.)

God bless you,

 Comments?

 

Reasons to love family dinners

Sometimes we lose sight of the best things in life and don't even realize it.

Like eating dinner together as a family, for instance.

Many people consider that an outdated relic of a simplistic past. I think it's more than that. Sharing a family meal symbolizes what we long for, a deeper connection with those we love.

Sure, it's quicker to stop for fast food or hit the drive-through, maybe eat in our cars. Some of us eat takeout in front of our laptop or TV. In a multitasking life it seems, well, natural. Besides, at the end of a hectic day who wants to cook and clean up? After all, this is 2012.

We save time, yes, but we may lose what matters more.

For once, TV models the good stuff

Maybe you're you a fan of the hit TV show, "Blue Bloods," as I am.

Writer David Hitbrand looked into what attracts this show's consistently large audience and identified what's my favorite part. Here's a quote from his piece in The Philadelphia Enquirer, November 20, 2011:

The sentimental majority opinion holds that it's the show's weekly dinner scene, during which four generations of Reagans -- presided over by the patriarch (Len Cariou) -- bicker, spar and celebrate one another.

"That scene is the favorite of so many people," says "Blue Bloods" executive producer, Leonard Goldberg. "Italian people, Jewish people, Greek people -- they all say the same thing: 'That's my family.' "

The Reagans do more than eat together

As they prepare the meal and work together, then sit down at their huge dining table, they depict a healthy family in action.

• They do a lot of one-on-one sharing in the kitchen.
• They begin their meals with thanking God for their food and often, for each other.
• They do "celebrate" each other. For any child or adult, there's something really sweet about having another family member praise us in front of the rest.
• They talk and listen to each other with respect, even when they disagree. Younger family members participate, too. Sometimes an adult corrects a youngster or offers a principle to remember.
• They leave the table reminded they are family, they are one.

Building family bonds in our own homes

I know a couple that early on resolved to eat their evening meal together and worked around a crazy schedule. Then as parents they wanted to stay tuned-in to how their children viewed their world. They started sharing daily "highs" and "lows" over dinner. Each one named their best and worst points of the day, in as much detail as they liked. Mom and Dad spoke their joys and concerns, too--with discretion.

These normal children sometimes protested and could be moody or quiet. "Some nights they'd say, 'recess' for both their high and their low," the father says with a smile. "We never tried to talk them out of it because they lived their day at school, not us.

"We learned to listen with more sensitive ears. Often it seemed nothing happened, but over time highs and lows proved a wonderful tool. When our children grew into adolescence they took over reminding us anytime we forgot. By then they understood the value of these built-in openings to share hurts and feelings.

"Along the way my wife and I gained insights into our children. Conversations became more meaningful and so did our our prayers. Without question this daily sharing strengthened the love and closeness within our family."

No skills training required

Getting your family on this new track may feel bumpy and awkward at first, so be patient. After awhile you'll find what works. To begin just gather everyone around your dinner table. Keep it fancy or plain, serve sandwiches or steak, your choice.

It helps to remember the goal is simply to establish a routine that helps draw your family closer. The resulting sense of connectedness can melt away a lot of strain.

(By the way, it works well for wives and husbands, too.)

Lenore

 

Calling all happy mamas--or wannabes

If Mama's not happy, ain't nobody happy.

That folk saying is uncomfortably true. Our moods affect our husbands and our chidren.

Years ago I heard humorist Sam Levenson tell of his childhood and I remember it still. It went something like this. "When I was a kid our family was dirt poor, but none of us kids knew it. We all thought we must be rich. Otherwise why would our parents laugh so much and why would all our friends want to come to our place?"

According to her son, Mama Levenson gets the credit.

Like it or not, we wives are the barometer of our homes

Our Creator wired male and female differently, but most of us would agree that's true. We gals usually are more emotional, the nurturers. Let's call that difference what it is: A blessing. A privilege. We are people of influence, which has nothing to do with getting a paycheck.

Whatever our personality strengths and weaknesses, real life calls us to do what needs to be done. To give what would bless the people we love. To be who we're called to be in the present moment, day after day, no matter what else we must do.

Looking for personal space

Even in the midst of busy, happy family life we can get stuck on needing "space to breathe." All we can think of is our "want to" list.

Count me in that number. I know how feeling sorry for ourselves can turn sunny days into gloom in no time. Then it was easy to believe I always ended up doing (I thought) the most and giving (I thought) the most.

One day I wailed my, "Why me?" and distinctly heard a voice asking me back, "Why not you?"

That left me speechless.

I took a long look at the facts of my life. By the grace of God a good man loved me--and put up with my many flaws. I truly loved and respected him. With four healthy kids, enough to eat and a safe place to live, I knew I was blessed and I did thank God.

So why would I allow myself to be dragged down by issues with no more substance than a gnat?

Getting back to center

Here's what I've learned and know for sure. You and I create the world we--and our families--inhabit.

Our children, at least in their early years when their lifeviews are being formed, read us and look at life through our eyes. We have it in our power to give them a great gift, the in-their-bones conviction that the world is a happy place. That God loves them and watches over them.

How do we handle the inevitable hard times? Here's what helped me. My outlook began to change the day I promised myself--and God--I absolutely would not give in to self-pity anymore. No matter what, I would act as if life was good.

In the beginning that felt almost dishonest.

Bible truths can fill in the empty spaces

In the early stage of my experiment I had no proof it would work. I looked for reinforcement and turned to the Bible. I found Paul's letters, like Ephesians and Galatians, a good place to start.

Some verses really spoke to my heart, as well as quotes from good books. I wanted to hang onto them, so I wrote them down. Today I dig through those old notebooks like a gold miner working her claim.

Verses like this helped me immensely:

Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. -- Colossians 3:12

(Do I need to tell you I'm still growing in this one?)

Trust me, when Mama lives happy, everyone is happier. Even Mama.

Your comments, please.

Declare a "joy break" and refresh your heart

Most of us could use a transfusion of smiles and energy about now. So sit back, put your feet up and watch these beautiful children. You won't want to miss a move.  

Even if you've seen this before, I promise it will make you smile all over again and give you an energy lift.

 

Fifth-graders who live in the Yupik Eskimo village of Quinhagak, Alaska, pop. 555 at the 2,000 census, put this together as a school computer project, intended for other Yupik villages in the area. 

By now more than 1,200,000 people have viewed this performance of the "Hallelujah" chorus from Handel's Messiah.

Take a moment to marvel at what God can do with the work of one individual.

In 1741, George Frideric Handel considered himself something of a failure. Then he composed the entire score of Messiah over a period of 24 days. He is said to have felt God gave him the music, but he could not predict how this music would endure.

He could not have imagined that 360 years later, Eskimo children in a small Alaskan village would treat us to this creative performance accompanied by a choir singing the "Hallelujah" chorus.

Tthe teacher of this class in that small Eskimo school could not foresee anyone in any other place would ever see this video.

There's a lesson here for you and me

As  individuals and as moms and dads we cannot know what God will do with our work--or our child's work.

Handel composed many other musical works, but  only his "Hallelujah" chorus is sung and hummed all over the world. His Messiah is performed every Christmas season by choruses and choirs in huge cities and in tiny villages on every continent. At the time he could not have guessed the value of his work.

I can't help thinking of this Bible verse.

For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.     --Ephesians 2:10

That verse wasn't aimed only at Handel and other famous people. It speaks to you and me, too.

Think you're on a treadmill and going nowhere?

Perhaps today you question the value of your life. Maybe you're facing your first Christmas alone after losing a loved one.

If you're a mom, your family most often notices what you do when you don't do it. Put a positive spin on that. Being taken for granted also means your family knows they can count on you.

Forget looking elsewhere to find your particular "good works." You're living with them. What's more, the family life you create, the love you pour into your days will live on in your children. Every day you are coloring their lives--and their picture of life.

Joy comes from giving ourselves fully and from knowing that what we do matters, whether we see the end result or not. God is faithful. What we do in faith will live on, one way or another.

Believe it. Let that truth put fresh energy in your tired body.

Then look again at the smiles on the faces of those Eskimo school children and sing Hallelujah! in your heart.

Someone needs us, needs our kind words, needs our encouragement. Those are gifts, too.

Now, let's enjoy this wonderful Christ-mas season of giving ourselves,

Lenore

 

Protect your children--and yourself--from getting boiled

Have you noticed how what shocks us at first we hardly notice after awhile?

Call it a demonstration of the "Frog in the Kettle" phenomenon. A frog would never stay in a pot of boiling water--unless the water in the pan started out cold. If you raise the temperature oh, so gradually, the frog will adapt to his or her environment.

It's the same with you, with me and especially with our children

Whatever our surroundings, we learn to adapt. Plunk us among positive people and we become more upbeat. Drop us into a crowd of folks who gripe all the time and we start complaining, too.

Parents create the atmosphere that counts most

Although children gain knowledge and impressions at school, home is where their basic foundation of life is formed. What their parents think matters more than all the rest.

From early on our children absorb our attitudes, right or wrong. If Mom and Dad think life is scary, their kids will, too. If we grumble that nobody treats us fairly or that you can't trust anyone, our daughters and sons accept that as truth. Act as if people around us are good people and our kids will consider the world a friendly place and be optimistic about their chances in it. 

This principle holds no matter what our level of income may be or where we live.

We give our kids a gift--or a handicap--by the atmosphere we create within our family.

 Insulating our darlings

The culture we live in intrudes and colors our thinking, at every age. Television gets blamed most often. What matters even more is how we view it within our families. When something objectionable or untrue is shown, do we let it pass with no comment?

If we do, we just awarded our seal of approval.

It doesn't stop there. Everything from the Internet to conversations with friends and neighbors to what they pick uup in school drips into young minds. Adults can process information through an adult perspective and their experience. Children and teens swallow it whole.

Because we can't be with them 24/7, it's vital to equip them with their own inner guidance system.

• Individuals who clearly understand the difference between right and wrong acquire an internal plumb line and make wiser judgments.
• Kids who can reason and use logic discern untruths more easily.
• Children who pray when they're unsure feel more confident.
• Youngsters who understand that Jesus loves them and watches over them feel less afraid of the dangers (real or imagined) around them.

(By the way, these principles work for adults, too.)

Froggie adapted to his environment and it killed him. What about us?

Whatever we think of the world we live in, most of us don't consider it ideal. Tragic headlines about the rich and famous clearly show what happens when individuals embrace this society without reservation. Most parents and grandparents consider that our worst nightmare.

It's our privilege to be entrusted with rearing our children or to be a grandparent. What we say and do matters more than we think. That's an honor, not a burden. I confess I didn't always recognize that. Maybe you didn't, either.

So we start where we are. If we remember who we are and ask God's help, he will strengthen us and deepen our faith. He will enable us to be the lights and the lifters within our own families.

Send forth your light and your truth, let them guide me ...    --Psalm 43:3

Surely God is my help; the Lord is the one who sustains me.   --Psalm 54:4

The LORD gives strength to his people; the LORD blesses his people with peace.     --Psalm 29:11

I've found you can trust the Lord. He loves you and your children. He'll fill in your empty spots and be your strength.

God bless you!

Lenore

Search out the heroes around you

Maybe you know one. 

  

Maybe you are one. 

 

I can hear you saying, "Yeah, sure."

 

Well, I'm not kidding. Heroes come in all shapes and sizes and ages. Sometimes they're in the spotlight and their stories make the news.

 

Most of the time, however, nobody notices.

 

Think about the dads--and moms--who go off to work every day, mostly without complaint. Consider the ones who got a pink slip. They could sink into a heap on the floor, but they don't. Instead, they look at the people they love and keep going.

 

Include the ones who every day they wave a smiling goodbye to their spouse and their children, then go back inside and clean up the fallout of family life. All day, every day, they do a few of the million things it takes to keep a family going.

 

Hardly anyone pays much attention.

 

Living with uncertainty 

 

Over the four years I've known one married couple who have lived with precarious paychecks. You would never guess that by their smiles. They always talk about how God watches over them. These two model unwavering faith, especially for their three children.

 

Don't forget the moms and dads who know the pain of watching their child struggle, whether with school, with drugs or emotional illness, or just with living. These parents sought out the most-qualified professionals they could find, but see little to no progress. Time passes with little evident progress, yet they keep on praying and encouraging, keep on believing. 

 

Who can imagine the anguish of watching your child suffer through a serious, perhaps life-threatening illness?  Some care for failing spouses or parent(s.) Even as sadness depletes their emotions and exhaustion saps their strength they pour out love, all the while mourning what was and will never be again.

 

Some heroes wear uniforms and serve in the Armed Forces. All the while their wife or husband or parent(s) prays fervently and waits. They may return home alive, but injured, changed, whether emotionally or physically. On the long road back all the wife or husband or parent can do is keep on loving and keep on praying.

 

Heroes, every one of them.

 

Take a closer look in the mirror

 

See that hero looking back at you?

 

You're a hero because you stay, no matter what, and keep on loving, being faithful. Whatever may be missing in your life, every day you decide again to keep on loving as if. As if you were fulfilled. As if your husband or your son or daughter displayed every quality you once envisioned.

 

You do this because you promised. Because God made you a mom.

 

You often think you don't do enough. You cry over the times you get impatient or lose your temper. You pray, because you know you're not strong enough on your own.

God sees. He knows. Here's a promise for those days you feel overwhelmed.

Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.          --Isaiah 40:28-31  

 

Lovingly,

Lenore