February can be risky territory, especially for husbands.
Maybe it wouldn't be if it weren't for all the ads that run this time of year, all touting, "Show your Valentine you care!"
All a guy has to do, according to the advertisers, is buy what they're peddling. Flowers, diamonds, chocolate-dipped strawberries, sexy lingerie, even footed all-in-one pajamas--everything but Chia pets. It's advertising hype, pure and simple, but it plants the idea, at least in us women.
I confess I wasted a few February 14ths because my sweet husband didn't show up with something. When that happened, he'd say, "Oh, Honey, I forgot. I'm sorry!" And he was.
I'd mouth the words, "That's okay," and paste on a phony smile, telling myself to grow up.
Enter The Big Chill.
Living teaches a greater truth
Compared to the other 364 days of the year any Valentine's Day, anniversary or birthday settles into a more realistic perspective.
What matters most is how love plays out day-after-day.
*Love holds his extremely pregnant wife while she wails, "I'm huge! And I can't get any shoes on except flip-flops!" then replies, "I think you've never been more beautiful."
*Love eats his bride's latest kitchen experiment and pronounces the strange-looking mixture, "Delicious."
*Love says, "I'll take care of the kids over the weekend. You go to that conference with your friends. We'll be just fine."
*Love says, "No, no, no. You're the one who deserves a new coat. Mine's good for another winter."
*Love puts the coffee on because he knows she needs a cup to get going in the morning.
*Love overlooks bulges and mastectomy scars and her tendency to lose track of time.
*Love sees the girl he married even when she walks with a cane and sometimes doesn't even remember his name.
And vice versa.
Mutual loving kindness and consideration nourish a marriage, just as regular feed and water help a rosebush bloom and thrive.
An anytime checklist
Many of us are familiar with 1 Corinthians 13, which often is spoken at weddings.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking. It is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs . . . It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails . . . And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
These verses provide a sort of plumb line, even though none of us can love this way day after day.
Let's rejoice in what is
I know now what matters more to me than celebrating Valentine's Day is the enduring love between my husband and me. I count that more precious than all the diamonds in South African mines.
When it comes to special days, I think we miss an amazing, humbling point. You and I hold the power to make every day a special day for the man we love--and ourselves. .
Maybe that sounds too simplistic, but it's true.
So let's Keep It Simple, Sweeties!
Lenore
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