When our girls were growing up, Saturday was chores day, catch-up day. Oh, the groans! Oh, the complaining! Funny thing is, now these same daughters look back on those Saturday mornings as something good, even kinda fun. Wish I could have known that back then. Maybe I wouldn't have felt so much like the wicked witch of the North.
Let's just say my husband and I liked the idea of the family team better than our children did. Ever been there? I kept thinking it should be easier and reading "How to" articles in search of the magic method. Never found it.
At our house what seemed to work best was me drawing up a list of jobs. Then the girls drew straws or guessed a number, or chose a number from a jar full of numbered slips. The winner got first dibs, then then the second chose, etc. In order to avoid a mutiny, each got to choose one chore, then we started over. More groans when someone got one of the least-favorite jobs, like cleaning the bathroom--and sometimes some trading went on. Then we'd put on the music (loud) from a Broadway show or a favorite movie, tunes with an "up" tempo. That quickly changed the mood. Soon our resident quartet would be singing, humming, and jiving to the beat--and so would their mom.
It always helped to hold out a "carrot," the prospect of doing something fun afterward. So the sooner we wound up the work, the sooner we were out of there, and what we did changed over the years. Sometimes we'd fix a picnic lunch and go to the park or hit the Dairy Queen for some exotic creation. Sometimes we'd zero in on places where they could get rid of the allowances they were itching to spend. Often we'd head for the Place of Enchantment: our local public library. We'd emerge an hour or so later, each of carrying a stack of books to last us a week or so. Of course, our family included five females, so we m-i-g-h-t go shopping.
Like every parent, we often thought it would be easier--and more peaceful--just to do everything myself. Obviously, that was true. So why bother? My husband and I thought of it as preparation for life. We knew that one day our darlings would fly away on their own. Knowing how to cook and clean and do the laundry would come in handy. Beyond that, no job is fun at all times. Nevertheless, they'd need to stick with it and do good work or lose their jobs. We viewed our overall goal as getting them ready to live on their own ... our lifetime gift to them. So we kept at it, believing, and praying for patience.
If that's where you are right now, hang in there. Just don't expect to hear a "thank you" for a few years. But you will. Oh, and by the way, eventually you will have a capable family team, and won't that be a treat?
Here's to discovering the fun in working together!
Lenore
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