It’s the buzz across the nation. Octuplets!
In case you’re fuzzy on the details, here are the facts. The single mother gave birth to eight babies and has six children at home, ages two to seven. Although she has an ex-husband, he did not father any of her fourteen children. All fourteen arrived courtesy of fertility drugs and in-vitro fertilization, using the the same, undisclosed sperm donor.
Nadya Suleman, age thirty-three, lives in Los Angeles with her parents and her children. A year or so ago her parents took out bankruptcy to the tune of one-million dollars. Since then the nine of them have lived in a 1,550 square foot house. (I can hear you groaning. Are you identifying with the mother or the grandparents?)
Suleman has hired a public relations firm, but not to worry. Her spokeswoman says she is “the most sought-after mom in the world right now.”
Hundreds of morning shows, television talk shows, magazines, tabloids and the like clamor for interviews. Some (I am shocked!) involve offers to pay. No decisions have been made, says her spokeswoman, Joanne Killen, who noted the obvious: raising eight babies will be expensive ... plus six more.
But not to worry. According to her spokeswoman, Nadya Suleman plans to carefully review her “financial opportunities.” Killen pooh-poohed reports that this new mother already had decided to host a television show on parenting. (It should be noted her family talks of her lifelong desire to have children, and she majored in child development.) She adds that Suleman does eventually want to tell her story to the world. That’s why the new mother (again) hired their firm, says Joann Killen, to manage all those opportunities.
Years ago learned scholars, doctors and theologians began arguing the ethics of the inevitable fallout to come once fertility drugs and in-vitro fertilization became common. By this point countless couples have followed this route and delight in the results.
The tale of Nadya Suleman and her children seems to me a prime example of misuse. Think of the other issues. Maybe you’ve read articles about women who gave birth through the use of donated sperm and now are tracking down their own child’s “siblings,” through the Internet. They’re getting together for “family reunions.”
You’ve watched television shows about couples who meet and fall in love, then find out they’re related, because the two mothers were inseminated by the same sperm donor. You’ve read the stories of surrogate mothers who changed their minds because they had bonded with the child growing within them, leaving the would-be parents sad and devastated.
Perhaps saddest of all are the countless children all over this nation waiting to be adopted … and growing up still waiting. Meanwhile couples long to be parents and will spend years—and endless thousands of dollars, not to mention the indignity and discomfort of taking fertility drugs—hoping to end up with a child that shares their DNA.
Last night on one of our local television newscasts, the anchor did their weekly feature introducing one or more children who ache to be part of a family. They always touch my heart, but especially last night. A handsome fifteen-year-old talked about his hope that someone would want him. The newscaster asked, “Do you ever get too old to hope?”
The young man said something like, “Not me. Maybe I’ll go on hoping all my life, wishing I belonged to somebody. When I hear other kids complaining about their parents, I just say, ‘Cut it out! You don’t know how lucky you are to have somebody in your life who cares about you!’ So I guess I’ll go on hoping … “ And then he looked away from the camera.
So here’s my question for you: When—not if—Nadya Suleman turns up as the featured guest on Oprah’s show, will you watch? When the sperm donor decides to tell his story (and you know he will) will you listen? Would you watch a television show on parenting with Nadya Suleman as host?
What do you think about this “brave new world” of science? And what is "mother love," anyway?
Sorry, I guess that’s more than one question, so you get to pick. Please do!
Lenore
Your comments truly are welcomed!