A WOMAN'S VIEW ~ Lenore Buth

Are you caught in the rock polisher of Love?

Maybe that sounds like a silly analogy, but on the other hand...

Ever met a bride who didn't expect to live happily ever after? Me neither.

Ever met a wife--or husband, for that matter--whose life together consists of one blissful day after another? Me neither.

Or a new mom or dad who didn't expect that beautiful baby would smile and coo and love them every single day? Of course not.

Marriage and parenting change us. Like it or not, we're forced to stretch and grow. When we bring home a newborn, we quickly discover life never will go back to "normal." Because that totally helpless infant needs us, we set aside our own needs and care for our child. That becomes our new routine. 

Call it the rock polisher of love and parenting.

Most married couples I've known describe themselves as complete opposites. Certainly that fits my husband and me. Yet here we are after many years, still married --and happy. Sure, we've had our ups and downs, but we hung in there through the downs and celebrated the ups.

By now we actually appreciate each other's personality traits, the same qualities that once frustrated us. We've discovered we're better and more effective together than  either would be on our own. Now we know that we balance each other. (God, of course, knew all this from the beginning.)

We've learned. We've grown. Credit the daily rock polisher of love and marriage.

If you've ever been around a rock polisher, you know it makes a frightful racket.  Picture a rotating drum full of rocks hitting and crashing against each other and banging the sides. The continual noise goes on and on.  

It takes as long as it takes and there's no other way. In the beginning all those rocks look rough and uninteresting. At the end they come out smooth and polished. Now we can see their depth and remarkable colors. Some are revealed to be semi-precious. A few even turn out to be precious gems. 

I can't think of a better analogy for marriage, can you?

So next time you hear some "crashing and banging" around your house, don't despair.  Consider it part of love's smoothing and polishing process. As we live together in marriage, in a family, we smooth off each other's rough edges. (If you have no noise and conflict, don't worry. Love still accomplishes its purpose: change.)

By the way, it helps to remember what every rockhound knows. What looks like a dull, craggy rock in the beginning may, once it has tumbled awhile, turn out to be a gem of priceless worth. 

Blessings,

Lenore

Question for you: Have you found this to be true in your life?   (Just go to the  "Comments" box at the end and follow directions.)

Who ruined your Camelot?

"We had such a wonderful life," the weeping husband told the counselor. "A good marriage, beautiful children, and we did everything right. At least, we thought we did. But now, now...What am I supposed to do now?"

The counselor, known by all to be warm and caring, listened awhile. His response sounds shocking at first. "What I hear you saying is that someone ruined your Camelot." 

Remember Camelot? Flowers always bloomed and the sun always shone. Brave knights rescued every maiden in distress. Ladies in lovely gowns sipped tea and cakes, yet never had to boil or bake. Who wouldn't want to live in such a magical, mystical, mythical place? 

Except we don't. We live in the real world, with real people.

More times than I want to admit, I forget that and set myself up for disappointment. Then like that weeping father, I grieve the loss of my dream and my self-image as much as anything.  

Then what do we do? We love the sinner(s), as the counselor advised that dad to do, as God loves us. We take our pain to God, until finally we can leave it there. 

Camelot would be a lovely place to visit, I suppose. But I wouldn't trade the joys and challenges of relating to real people. 

How about you?

Blessings,

Lenore

Agree or disagree? Your comments welcomed!   (Just click on the word, "Comments" in the small print at the end, then follow directions.)