I don't know who said these words first:
A friend is a present you give yourself.
Last night my husband and I felt very gifted. We spent the evening with a group of friends we've known for more than twenty years.
Have you ever been in a gathering of friends or family and listened to the music of their laughter and joking, with everyone speaking at once?
How sweet it was!
Yet friendships so easily slip away. They get buried under the stack of To Dos that didn't get done and the absolutely urgent Must Do stuff.
That's life, as they say. But it's a shame.
Sometime in the hazy past a teacher made us memorize a rhyme, probably one of those times when one best friend wasn't speaking to another. It went something like this:
Make new friendships, but keep the old;
One is silver, the other gold.
For all of us, wherever we live, we leave parts of ourselves behind. We take memories with us, plus the friendships that mattered while we were there. The trouble is, to keep those relationships alive we need to put a bit of effort and nurturing into them, or they wither away.
Since most of us live busy lives, that takes effort...and who has time? Small personal touches help. (I'll be the first to admit I don't do this enough and I've probably paved several miles of that road to hell with my good intentions.)
What to do? The bottom line is that it's always good to hear from people we love. If you're like me that may mean your main contact with people who live a distance from you is sending out Christmas cards that include your (copied) letter. Then add a short handwritten line or two that's personal. That's not enough, of course, but it beats sending what feels to the recipient like a form letter.
Is it worth it? YES! Last night provided fresh proof that friendships endure over time. We've found you can be separated by distance, but still close in heart.
It feels soooo good to re-connect, rather like one of those plants that come to life in a warm spring rain.
So do yourself a favor. Get in touch with those friends you haven't heard from, maybe haven't called or written for too long. Don't worry about feeling or sounding awkward because it's been awhile.
Make the effort. Call. Write. Send a card.
Don't do it for them. Do it for you. Keep at it, even if you don't hear back for awhile. Keep that thread flowing. One day you'll meet again and pick up where you left off.
Perhaps nothing feels so satisfying as connecting with true and trusted friends, the kind of folks with whom you can be completely yourself and at ease. Afterward, you'll smile for a very long time. I know, because that's what my husband and I have been doing ever since.
Maybe you're missing friends like that right now. Why not call or write or e-mail that person? You'll be glad you did!
And I promise you'll wonder why you waited so long.
Blessings,
Lenore
Question for you: How do you make friends? How do you keep those friendships going? Tell us how you do it, please. Your comments welcomed!
Blessings,
Lenore
