What prompts the question is a news story in the March 31 edition of The Sacramento Bee.
A local child care center, Tot Town, recently celebrated its 60th anniversary. Ownership has changed over the years, but their philosophy remains the same.
"I tell parents to put their hands behind their backs," says Nancy Ennis, one of the owners, "and let these kids do it (for themselves.)"
At Tot Town, teachers stress independence, so little ones pour their own milk and hang up their own coats.
Here youngsters are treated to "positive discipline." Ennis says they love and respect kids, but expect them to do things in a certain way. Good behavior is rewarded.
One favorite saying is worth adoption in every family: "You get what you get and don't throw a fit."
Teachers are caring, but firm. If a child is reminded how to act and doesn't, a teacher or helper takes him or her to another activity. "We don't stand them in a corner or do timeouts," she says. "We redirect."
The philosophy here hasn't changed for sixty years. Graduates frequently stop by for a visit and gaze fondly on old playground equipment. Local graduates who become parents return to enroll their children in the School, so their kids, too, can learn "the Tot Town way."
Timeless truths have a way of surviving
I read the account with a smile because it echoes what I came to believe myself. As a young mom who often felt overwhelmed, I made a lot of mistakes. I talked too much, for example.
But I'm teachable. Here are some things I wish I'd known before rather than after. (They apply equally at any age past infancy.)
- Be clear, but brief.
- Quietly repeat what you said as often as necessary. Unless you've changed your mind, stick with what you said the first time.
- Don't argue. (It takes two to keep it going, remember?)
- Explain your reasoning if your child asks why, but recognize it's okay to revert to, "Because I said so," now and then.
- If you set clear limits and stay consistent, your kids will feel more secure and know what they can count on. (That's as true for preteens and teens as for preschooolers.) Yes, they'll moan you're too strict. Fuggeddaboudit.
- Remind yourself you're the mom. It's okay to act like you're the one in charge.
You're not in this alone
Any time you feel your confidence wavering, remember God gave you your children and if you ask, He will guide you.Here's a favorite verse for when you feel all churned up. It's John 14:27, where Jesus promises His followers His peace:
(Jesus said) "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid."
Life is good, being a mom is good and all will be well.
Love,
Lenore
