We all have days we feel we're accomplishing very little that matters.
That's especially true during those years we're changing diapers and cleaning up after toddlers, or when we're washing smelly gym clothes and running a chauffeur service for under-age complainers.
When we're having a bad day we grumble to ourselves that if we were rich enough or famous enough, or if we had the house of our dreams, life would be perfect.
Who knows? We might even make history instead of being stuck in our tiresome daily grind.
Truth is every parent makes history every day
Just being you imprints on your children every day, mostly while you're not aware of it. (And neither are they.)
Perhaps right now your kids are navigating those adolescent and teenage years and seem determined to be different. Maybe they seem terminally deaf to everything you say. No matter. All the while they're still watching you and learning how to live life from you.
If you doubt that's true, think of the times you've been shocked to hear your mother--or father's--words coming out of your mouth.
Sometimes that's amusing
One woman I knew related this tale. "My mother was a would-be opera singer, and she did have a beautiful voice. When my brother and I were growing up she always sang at us. The worst was when she scolded us to the tunes of opera music.
"You may laugh, but we hated it. Again and again we swore to each other that neither of us would ever inflict such misery on our own kids.
"Well, guess what. The other day my daughter threw a fit at a friend's house and embarrassed me. As I was driving her home there I was, bawling her out to the tune of an aria from the opera, 'Carmen.'
"Now here's the thing. I do not like opera at all and worse yet, I can't even carry a tune!"
Are we doomed to become carbon copies of our parents?
No! Here's the good news. Each of us has the power to deliberately rewrite the scripts of our minds.
First we need to watch and listen to ourselves. Then we resolve to be determined and keep at it. Slip-ups are guaranteed, but pay that no mind. Just say, "Oh, well," and start over. Eventually those old messages lose much of their power over us.
First, last and always, we ask God's help in rewriting the "codes" in our minds.
Questions to ask ourselves
Start by digging deep to understand what messages and hang-ups trace back to your childhood. Decide whether you want to keep letting them weigh you down. (Sounds like a silly question, but it isn't.) If not, deliberately lay them down at the cross.
Remind yourself you are strong enough to develop new ways to think because God is on your side.
- Then decide what you want your children to remember of their mom and dad.
- What would you need to do to help that happen?
- Write it down and read it over every day, perhaps by posting sticky notes on your bathroom mirror.
- Start with baby steps and be content with small gains.
As they say, the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step--and it's never too late to start over.
Greater than any positive thinking slogan is this, 2 Corinthians 5:17:
This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun! (New Living Translation)
Trusting, too,
Lenore
