This week my husband and I celebrated another wedding anniversary.
We've been married since we were just kids, crazy in love and wanting only to be together. I'm delighted to report, we're still holding hands.
Our first daughter arrived two years later, followed by three more beautiful little girls.
(In case you feel sorry for my husband, don't bother. What guy doesn't like getting mobbed by adoring little girls every time he walks in the door? Still today they love him dearly.)
In the beginning we believed by blind faith we could count on each other. Now we know it by experience. We are, in truth, each other's best friend.
Did we ever struggle? Of course. Over the years we learned and grew, as individuals and as a couple.
The key to lifetime marriage
Every marriage is the union of two imperfect people because, well, that's all there is.
From the start we had an advantage. You see, we meant what we promised God and each other on our wedding day. Each of us married for life.
That's critical, I think. My best comparison is the difference between a career and a job.
Individuals intent on building careers swallow temporary frustrations and make allowances, refusing to be discouraged by setbacks. They focus on the future, rich with promise, and that keeps them going. Their motto is, "This is the career I want and I'll do what it takes to make it work."
People who say, "It's just a job," like to keep their options open. They say, "If the going gets rough, I can quit anytime I want. After all, this isn't the only job out there."
A checklist of basic truths we've learned
- Throw away that mental list of your husband's shortcomings. Instead, concentrate on strengths. (Isn't that what you want from him?)
- Remember that love thrives on respect. All of us more likely give respect when we feel respected.
- Putting each other down--especially when others are present--quickly frays the fabric of love.
- Always speak well of your husband to your children and in front of them. (Otherwise, why would they respect their father?)
- More important than lipstick: Wear a happy face--and season your words with love. It lifts the spirits of the whole family.
- Say "thank you" often and be generous with compliments. (Wives are not the only ones who appreciate being appreciated.)
- Big lesson I learned: I do not "shrink" or lose face when I cherish my husband. Besides, when he feels loved and valued he's more ready to reciprocate.
- Put your marriage relationship ahead of either one's personal rights. Make this your standard: "Is this good for our marriage?" (Isn't your marriage more important than a temporary "win?")
- If you're not already of the same mind about believing in Jesus, consider a U-turn. Ask God to guide you. Check out Jesus-centered churches. When you share the same faith, you share common agreement on many issues that otherwise could be troublesome.
Three great Bible verses to live by
Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. --Proverbs 12:18
Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. --Ephesians 4:2-3
Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. --1 Peter 4:8
Here's to treating our marriages as what they are: priceless treasures.
Take joy in today and tomorrow will be better, I promise.
Lenore
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