The only time we know how to raise children perfectly is before we have any.
Why wouldn't that be true? God creates each child to be one-of-a-kind, whether our children come to us by birth, by adoption, or because we marry a man who already is a dad.
That plunges us into a lifelong process of stretching. Growing. Learning.
We soon discover that being a mom means whatever else we may be involved in, our children remain constantly in our minds and in our hearts.
Being a mom takes all we have and then some
When our four daughters were growing up I loved them and every bit of our life, but I often felt up to my eyeballs in responsibilities.
I never once wanted to quit, but I longed to find a better way.
About that time God sent an older friend who shared her philosophy of mothering: "A mother's job is to work herself out of a job--long before her children leave home."
That "radical" thought made sense to me
Along with feeding, clothing and teaching our children, we moms are to prepare them for life. We hear all the time that life is tough, even for kids. Away from us they're on their own, whether it's at child care or in school.
When we help them develop inner strength we're living out the Golden Rule:
[Jesus said] "Do to others as you would have them do to you."
I can't think of a more loving and lasting gift we can give our children, can you?
My husband and I decided to borrow my wise friend's principles of parenting. Before long we noticed the change in our family. It seemed we all liked each other more--and ourselves, too. Over the years we watched our daughters grew into strong adults.
Those years taught me and became background for my latest book Godly Moms - Strength from the Inside Out
This collection of short pieces can be read in snatches of time. Here's one to hang onto when you're feeling stressed.
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MADE FOR EACH OTHER
Your family is no accident. God gave you to each other.
Each child who calls you "Mom" was created just for you.
God placed you together because you need each other.
Let those sentences sink deep into your heart and your mind.
This is true even when you have conflicts and diffficulties. Even if you are as different as plums and peanut butter. Even though it seems you always say or do the wrong thing with one of your children.
Your Designer Kids need you, not the Ms. Flawless Mom who lives on the corner.
And vice versa.
You don't need the placid child next door, nor Super Kid across the street. You need that one who most often baffles you or challenges you.
God tailor-makes our children to stretch us.
To teach us.
To grow us.
Mothering opens our minds and strips away old, comfortable illusions about life.
And about ourselves.
Day after day, we're forced to cope. As we do, we may discover strengths we didn't know we had.
Weaknesses too.
No mom would label this process easy or comfortable. Growing pains never are.
When you feel overwhelmed, reassure yourself with what you know. God put together the pieces of your family jigsaw puzzle according to His plan.
It is a good one.
So walk on, trust Jesus, and be at peace.
Like your kids, you're in the process of becoming. Your heart will never shrink back to its original size.
[The Lord says,] "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you." --Jeremiah 1:5a
(Excerpted from Godly Moms - Strength from the Inside Out, published by Concordia Publishing House, St. Louis.)
Moms, if you feel in over your head, take heart. Every day you leave footprints on tomorrow.
Blessings and love,
Lenore
