Dear Moms,
Trust me: It's all worth it!
You recognize the sweet moments of mothering for what they are.
Here's what I know now that I missed when our children were growing up:
The not-so-sweet moments are worth just as much.
From this vantage point I understand that every day is a "puzzle piece" in the whole of your life.
Those "nothing days" add depth you can't recognize in the middle of making a life. The tiresome, mundane stuff you do every day just because you're a mom are necessary to complete the design.
It's easy to lose sight of that in the middle of changing one more poopy diaper. Or mopping up spills on the floor you just cleaned. (Why can't it stay clean at least one day?) Or listening to another recital of, "Mommeee, look what he did to me!" followed by, "It's not my fault. She started it!"
I confess that too often I forgot that the chaos was happy chaos and forgot to appreciate that my life was good and rich and full.
Maybe you do, too.
Keep the Big Picture in Mind
I know now that every day counts, even those days so pointless or frustrating you could scream. You are leaving tracks on your child's tomorrows, one tiny bit at a time.
The old truth, "More is caught than taught," applies here.
Mom love often looks like cleaning up and mopping up. Loving and praying for strength. Cooking and packing lunches. Throwing smelly clothes into the washer. Loving and praying for patience. Chauffeuring kids and cleaning up messes and loving. Praying to know what to do. Forgiving and forgetting. Loving. Praying. Falling into bed exhausted and starting over the next morning.
Take a fresh look. See your life for what it is: a work-in-progress
That's fitting, since your children, too, are a work-in-progress.
Every part of every day, they're growing.
Whatever stage they're in, they are in the process of becoming.
You are, too.
So relax
Let go of straining to "do it right." Forget keeping track of how many boxes you can check on the latest "Effective Parenting Techniques" list.
Your kids are following you around, watching how you role-model dealing with everyday life. Every day they conduct their own comparison study on whether what you do matches what you say.
That's what they'll remember--and copy--as they live their lives.
Please take that as encouragement. If you're loving your kids and forgiving them when they mess up and accepting them for who they are, that's what they'll remember.
And you are not on your own. Just ask God to show you the way to love your family as they need to be loved and to give you strength for the day. You can trust Him to be faithful.
So just love your kids and be yourself. It's okay not to be The Coolest Mom on the Block.
Take the Long View
Will it all be good? Maybe not. You might travel through some rough patches or trying years. One child may be extra hard to handle or have special needs that don't go away. Another may develop big problems you hadn't noticed earlier. Your teenager or young adult child may disappoint you. Or worry you. Or drive you to your knees.
Not one of us wants our children to struggle, but it doesn't mean God has walked away.
From the struggle may come the strength, for them and for you.
Remember, He's growing you, too.
Where to turn when you feel overwhelmed
Don't hang around in risky territory, such as thinking I can't take any more of this. You can get stuck in that quicksand.
Take charge of your thoughts. (I promise it gets easier with practice.)
Focus your attention on the privilege of rearing the children you've been given. Even on your most trying days, remember this:
God gave you your children because you are just right for each other.
Some days you may run on empty
That's the time to put the good stuff in. Find some Bible verses that speak to your heart and fill your mind with them. I find it helps me to change my mindset if I repeat favorite Bible verses to myself.
Here's a favorite Bible verse you probably know. I underlined it in my Bible years ago and it still speaks to me when I'm feeling weary.
He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. Isaiah 40:29-31
Dear friends and fellow moms, breathe in that strength that never runs out and hang on. You are right where you're supposed to be and every day counts.
Take it from one who found it to be true: It's all worth it!
Love from my heart to yours,
Lenore
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