Poet Ogden Nash penned a short rhyme that's good advice for every wife and husband.
To keep your marriage brimming
With love in the loving cup,
Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
Whenever you're right, shut up.
My husband and I have been married for many decades and let's just say we've proven Nash is right enough times to know it's true.
Years ago I found another good piece on marriage. Sorry, I don't know who wrote it.
Practical Ways to Grow a Marriage
- Never both be angry at the same time.
- Never talk at one another, either alone or in company.
- Never speak loudly to one another, unless the house is on fire.
- Let each one put the other's needs and wants ahead of their own.
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Never taunt with a past mistake.
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Neglect the whole world rather than one another.
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Never part for a day without loving words to remember.
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Never make a mean remark at the expense of the other.
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Never meet without a loving welcome.
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Never let the sun go down upon any anger or grievance.
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Never forget the happy hours of early love.
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Never forget that God instituted marriage and His blessing alone can make it what it should be.
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Remember to pray for God's blessing--and enabling.
That list makes us cringe, doesn't it?
We think, "No one could live up to all that!"
True, no one can, not perfectly. But if we tried, couldn't it ramp up our joy in our marriages? (Basic rule of human relationships: We get back what we give out.)
So let's consider this more of a checklist for growth--and prayer. Some may think it's useless to pray because their marriage is too full of hurt and disappointment. They have no love left to give.
Then it's time to recall Matthew 19:26:
But Jesus beheld [them], and said unto them, With men this is impossible; but with God all things are possible. (KJV)
No human being is hopeless. No marriage, no relationship is too far gone for God's healing
Even when love feels dry and dusty. Even when we think love has died.
Here's why, from 1 John 4:7:
Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God.
That's good news, because what bride and groom really understand what they're pledging when they vow to love for life?
To promise is easy. To live out those promises 24/7, ah, that's the hard part.
We were two kids, so in love and so idealistic--and so clueless. Years of doing life together taught us the deep meaning contained in those familiar words: "...for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health until death do us part."
You see, by now we've experienced something of every word except, thank God, for "until death do us part."
Love is a daily decision
One of the most useful principles we learned in Marriage Encounter was, "Love is not just an emotion. Love is a daily decision."
So we decide again. And pray again. And thank God again. And begin again. It's an endless cycle.
And so we make it through life, day by day, and our love grows deeper, too.
By this time we can look back and see the lasting value of what we've built. Together. A happy marriage, a living creation that keeps growing and changing over the years.
And so do we, as individuals and as people of faith.
Lovingly,
Lenore
