How to teach your kids to make right choices

Most parents want their kids to sail through childhood and adolescence trouble-free, then grow up to be strong, right-thinking adults.

But how can we do that?

Forget checking Google for THE perfect formula for each individual child.

There is no such thing.

How could there be? The Bible tells us every human being is one-of-a-kind, fearfully and wonderfully made.

That's why every parent with more than one child soon discovers what they learned with Child A isn't much help with Child B. 

Besides, no one has discovered a way to spare our kids the pain of learning by experience. 

What we can do is give them a solid start and help them find their own way.

Everything rests on planting truths that endure 

Whatever the ages of our children, we start now. With ourselves.  

We make a conscious effort to live out the values we say we want them to have.

 

If we talk it but don't live it, our words are just words.

You see, every child comes equipped with the ability to spot hypocrisy and they're quick to point it out. Especially when Mom or Dad says say one thing but does another. 

 

Most parents hear this often: "But you said . . . ."

 

This is exhausting, but it carries a bonus. As we try to be good role-models we grow stronger from within.

 

And so do our children. 

 

Begin by thinking through what you believe as parents  

 

Make a checklist of what your family stands for--or what you want your family to stand for: 

 

Try these for starters:

• Always tell the truth. (Nobody gets in trouble for being honest.)  
   
• Be kind and thoughtful in what you say and do.
  
  
• Be fair. Remember, other people have the same rights as you.
  
  
• Respect those in authority. (Explain "authority.") 
  
  
• Treat others the way you want them to treat you.

Consider these to be foundation stones, a solid base to build a life on. 

A quartet of Bible verses for backup

[Jesus said] "And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them."  --Luke 6:31  ESV  

Even children are known by the way they act, whether their conduct is pure and right.  --Proverbs 20:11  NLT

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.  --1 John 1:9  NIV

I can do all things through him who strengthens me. --Philippians 4:13  ESV

Empower your kids by helping them understand that everything is a choice

Stress this core principle of living strong until it becomes theirs, too: 

In every situation, we make a choice. If nothing else, we choose how we will react.

That's a statement of personal power if ever there was one, useful even for younger kids.

It can make a child or teenager feel less vulnerable. A youngster or teen who understands this is less likely to plead that someone makes them feel a certain way or makes them hang with a pal they know is headed the wrong way. 

They will know they alone choose their actions and responses. 

Take it one step further. Teach them every choice, wise or foolish, inevitably yields a consequence, good or bad.  

Best of all, we know and pass on the reason(s) for right living

It's natural for children and teens to consider their own moods and desires more important than anything else. They need a reference point outside personal feelings.

Even young children can understand that as believers we want to reflect Jesus in how we live and treat others.

Will we parents fall short? Of course.

Will our children grow up perfect? Never.

We're all human beings, remember?

It helps to be involved in a strong church that teaches the Truth

This provides a natural setting in which we can make friends who share our values. And so can our children and teens.

There we get reminded that Jesus died to pay for our failures and that we're forgiven, a.k.a., grace. 

We get pointed to Bible truths like 2 Corinthians 5:17:

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.  

Our children need to hear that as they grow and learn--and make mistakes. It's what we parents need, too, and for the same reason.

The grace of forgiveness in Jesus enables us to keep going and to know we don't have to drag around our past mistakes any more.

Could there be a better Truth to help our children make it through life?

Still growing,

Lenore