We make "we, us and our" more important than "I, me and mine."We treat our marriage with the same tender love we show to our young children.
Every marriage consists of two individuals, two distinct personalities, two sets of priorities and preferences.
A steady drip, drip, drip of criticism and dissatisfaction slowly poisons a marriage relationship.
The secret to a happy marriage may be as simple as being kind to each other.Don't we instinctively feel more loving toward people who act and speak kindly to us?
- the capacity for feeling for another's unhappiness or misfortune
- sympathetic concern for the well-being of others.
Those qualities build closeness in a marriage. When one spouse hurts, the other feels it, too, and offers warmth and love. The bond between them deepens.
Kindness in marriage means that instead of focusing on what's wrong with our spouse, we fasten on what's right with each other.
Isn't that what we do with our friends? Think how casually we say, "Oh well, that's just the way she is."
Can't we be just as considerate toward the one we married?
Over time this becomes our everyday way of living together
Another way of saying this is, we respect our spouse and our children. Mutual respect makes it natural to treat each other with consideration even when no one else is around. We speak to each other and our children in the tone of voice we want them to use with us.
We watch what we say, too, because we know words can bless or deeply scar those who love us.
To live that way is not being subservient, but rather, demonstrating strength and self-control. It's what love looks like.
Remember, you're never alone
Because we're (flawed) human beings, we inevitably let each other down at times. We mess up and start over. Again. Sometimes we'll become discouraged because we're not there yet.
That's not the time to give up!
Take it as a reminder that Jesus died for all our failures and sins and start again. By faith we are forgiven and set right with God. That means we can forgive each other and trust that he will strengthen us and guide us.
I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my eye upon you. -Psalm 32:8
Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. -Ephesians 4:32
And this is the confidence that we have toward him, that if we ask anything according to his will he hears us. -1 John 5:14
P. S.
Kindness nourishes any marriage relationship. Is it worth the effort?
From the bottom of my heart I can answer, "Oh, yes!""
God bless your marriage, my unseen friend,
Lenore