A WOMAN'S VIEW ~ Lenore Buth

Feeling bored? Maybe it's a blessing in disguise

By now most of us are tired of our "new normal."

Many of us feel like that little kid who moans, "Nothing ever happens around here. I am sooo bored." 

 

It took me a long time to learn to be thankful for every nothing-happens, boring day.

Over the years I've known a number of people who suddenly found themselves wishing they could go back a day or a week or a year to before.

Before those medical tests.

Before that pink slip.

Before that stroke.

Before that "whatever" that changed everything. 

Before life turned upside-down in an instant

Sometimes we look back and say, "Well, sure, I wanted change, but not this!"

I know--and you probably do, too--how life can change in a finger-snap. Right away we view our lives through different eyes.

Who wouldn't? Who doesn't? 

A procession of "what ifs" and "if onlys" nag at us, day and night.

We struggle to make sense of it all, trying to find some hidden meaning, but come up empty-handed. 

Do struggles ever have a purpose?

You've probably heard this story, but its message never grows stale.

One day a youngster burst into his home with excitement and rushed to show his mother his latest discovery. "What's this, Mom?"  

"That's a cocoon, Son. It's a butterfly-in-the-making. This outer shell protects it until it's ready to come out."

The boy watched and waited. Finally, one day the cocoon started moving. After awhile the boy said to himself, "That poor little butterfly needs help!"

So he found a pair of scissors and carefully cut away the hard brown shell. He cried, "Fly! Fly!" But the creature never did.

He called his mom and said, "I tried to make it easier for the butterfly to get out, but it just won't fly. Why not?" 

She hugged him and said, "You tried to help, but God created the butterfly so that when it's just about ready it wants out. It kicks and it pushes against the cocoon's walls, over and over.

"Sometimes it takes a long time, but every kick and every push helps the butterfly get stronger. Finally it's strong enough to break free of the shell and fly. 

"You see, Hon, the butterfly needs every one of those struggles to make its wings strong enough to lift it off the ground." 

Consider our drab, down days, our boring days as part of the growth process  

Every day is a gift, remember?

When times are good, be happy; but when times are bad, consider: God has made the one as well as the other.  Ecclesiastes  7:14

I once heard a Bible teacher say, "No experience is ever wasted in the life of a Christian" and I thought, well, that's nice.

Now I've lived long enough to know it's true because I've seen it in my life and in people I love.

God works for us, for our good, even in our struggles. We develop inner strength so we can soar.

Good concept, but what does that mean in real life?

Stop a minute and pay attention, maybe even check for yourself: You still have a pulse and you're still breathing.

So am I.

That means God still has something for us to do.   

For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.  Ephesians 2:10  

As your days, so shall your strength be.  Deuteronomy 33:25

For it is God who is at work in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure.  Philippians 2:13

Whatever comes, we're not on our own  

When trouble comes I'm reminded again that life is fragile and it stops me short. Do I pray? You betcha, with all my heart.

Good day or not-so-good, I pray to appreciate each day while I am living it.  

Years ago I tacked these words by Mary Jean Iron to my bulletin board. Maybe they will speak to your heart as they do to mine.

Normal day, let me be aware of the treasure you are . . . 

Let me not pass you by in quest of some rare and perfect Tomorrow.

One day I shall dig my nails into the earth, or bury my face in my pillow, or stretch myself taut, or raise my hands to the sky and want, more than all the world, your return.

Here's to living each day as if it were God's precious gift to us--because it is. Even the ones we label "boring." 

Peace and JOY,

Lenore

How parents influence their children--for life

Awhile back a group of us were talking about growing up.

We found ourselves dissecting whether how we grew up influences who we are now.

Some said it does, but "Nick" disagreed, "Not me. I'm a self-made man. I'm an adult and I decide how I want to live."

"Ellie" spoke softly, "That's not as easy as it sounds. My mom used to freeze us out when we misbehaved. I hated that!

"Once I had children, without even thinking about it I found myself going all cold and silent when they acted up. Thank God I realized where that came from.

"Even so, it took me a lot of years and a lot of prayer to learn to stop myself and stay calm. For me, those old patterns from childhood die hard."

Heads nodded all around the room.

Then "Linda" said, "I see that in my husband. He's just like his dad. Neither one of them can turn off their work and just relax."

After that everyone in the room had a story of how their growing-up years influenced them as adults. Sometimes in a good way, sometimes not.

We leave imprints on our children, too

Most of us start out wanting to be good parents. We intend for our daughters and sons to grow up healthy and balanced, with sound values and faith that will carry them through whatever comes.

The trouble is we're human. We slip up and give way to our feelings. Our frustrations spill over into everyday family life.

Without even trying, our kids pick up the best of us. And the worst of us.

What about all those "little talks" when we think we're teaching them about right and wrong and how to live? Family counselors say they're not so memorable.

What about social media?

Yes, the many forms of social media play a big part in the lives of many young people--and often not for good. Yet all the research from countless well-documented studies come to the same conclusion.

Parents are the most important influence in a youngster's life.

What impacts our children most deeply is how we live and what we say all those everyday times we think they're paying no attention.

Parenting would be easier if we were rearing peas in a pod

God created each of our children (and each of us) one-of-a-kind. That's a wonderful thing and who would want it otherwise?

Practically speaking it means what you learned with Child A probably won't work as well with Child B.  

Whether your children came by birth, adoption or through marriage it helps to remember that God gave you each child.

Even if you can't quite figure out one of them.

Even if another one "drives you crazy."

What's more, He equips you to be the mom or dad who loves and helps shape these particular young individuals.

Take courage from knowing that through it all God is teaching and growing you as an individual. 

As one observer put it, children grow up. Parents grow deeper, wiser, much more understanding of human nature.

Viewing our own parents through an adult perspective

It helps to take a fresh look and realize our mother and/or father dealt with stresses and problems we didn't see and couldn't have understood.

Our imperfect parents made mistakes, just as we do. They coped as well as they could manage. Loved their kids as well as they were able.

Don't we do the same?

You and I can count up all the ways our inadequate mom or dad hurt us and/or let us down and spend the rest of our lives nursing our pain.

Or we can sift out the good and give thanks, then pray our children will do the same for us.

Drawing strength whenever we need it

Anytime you think you're in over your head, remember who gifted you with each child. Remember who your children are--and who you are: 

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made.   Psalm 139:13-14  NIV

For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. Ephesians 2:10  NIV

Program your mind for your life now 

Spend some time in your Bible. When you find a verse that touches your heart, find a way to hang onto it. Write it down. Enter it into your phone or your computer, wherever you can find it quickly.

Even better, store at least a few in your memory. Then you'll be ready whenever old thinking creeps in.

Whenever you feel shaky or uncertain I promise it will help to read those verses aloud or just in your mind.

Think of it as planting a new reality in your mind and heart.

Think of it as finding a way to forgive the past and move on.

Still learning, too,

Lenore

Helps to staying calm in fearful times

Many of us wake up every morning feeling anxious and drag our load of uneasiness to bed with us, too.

No wonder. Every day "they" announce some new reason to be afraid. 

Disturbing news seeps into our awareness, even though we think we're tuning it out. "What ifs" buzz around in our minds like pesky gnats, hatching into fears for our children and ourselves. 

This isn't the first time cause for anxiety slithered into our world, it's just the most recent display. Perhaps you, too, have wondered how fear got such a hold on our culture. I think Oswald Chambers, who wrote My Utmost for His Highest, explained it best: 

"When you fear God, you fear nothing else. When you don't fear God, you fear everything."

Fear of God means standing in awe of who he is and what he can do

The Bible makes it plain:

For thus says the Lord, who created the heavens (he is God!), who formed the earth and made it (he established it; he did not create it empty, he formed it to be inhabited!) "I am the Lord, and there is no other."  Isaiah 45:18  ESV 

“Be still, and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!” Psalm 46:10  ESV

In our "enlightened times" the very idea of God and even more, of Jesus as the Savior of the world, seems to have been declared irrelevant.  

Thank God individuals still can profess their faith and some we see and hear on our screens regularly do so, but that's a small percentage of the whole.

Looking for peace in all the wrong places 

None of us are immune to fear. It's part of being human.  

If you're having sleep problems, you have lots of company. Physical therapists report most patients complain of tight shoulders and neck problems. Why? Because that's where so many of us unconsciously hold our tension.

Even the calmest among us will admit to an underlying low-level sense of concern that won't leave. 

That's why we need to remind ourselves over and over that ultimate power rests in God's hand, not with Covid. 

Here's what Jesus told his followers--and if we're Christians, this includes us

"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, nor let them be afraid."  John 14:27  ESV

The Apostle Paul had every reason in the world to be anxious, but he told the Philippians in Chapter 4:6-7  ESV:

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. 

His peace in our hearts and minds is ours for the taking. But here's the question: Are we willing to give up feeling anxious?

That sounds like an odd question, but for some individuals, living all churned up with anxiety means feeling more alive. More in touch with their emotions and with what's going on in the world, a bit more sensitive than people around them who don't seem as troubled.

More faith verses

Some of us grew up believing we shouldn't "mark up" our Bibles. Once I broke free of that lie I discovered what a joy it is to underline verses that speak to my heart, verses like these.    

The LORD is my light and my salvation--whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life--of whom shall I be afraid?   Psalm 27:1  NIV

Call upon me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you, and you will honor me.   Psalm 50:1  NIV    

When I am afraid I will trust in you. In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid.    Psalm 56:5-6  NIV  

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.   Isaiah 41:10 NIV

You gotta put the good stuff in if you want to get the good stuff out

That folksy sense saying applies in all of life, especially to our minds.

Adult or child, what we feed our minds is what we live out.

Always, always, the greatest answer for troubled hearts is found in John 3:16-17. 

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him.

Filling our minds with thoughts of God's mercy in sending Jesus to be our Savior is the remedy that shrinks our deepest fears and fills us with calm.

Even if. Even when. Even though.

Lovingly,

Lenore