You may be thinking, "Who, me? Nobody listens to me!"
Not true. Even if you live alone, you listen to your words. The words in your mind. The refrain that plays constantly in the background.
It's as if we have an inner critic--or an inner cheerleader--that never takes a break.
Some of us have no notion when that voice took up residence.
Others trace it back to one or more individuals along the way, probably someone we wanted desperately to please.
A parent. A teacher or boss. A friend, or so we thought until . . .
Getting that clear in our minds can help us understand ourselves--and others.
The lifelong influence of parents
A good friend grew up in poverty, but went on to success in every area of his life. When asked how he did it, "Jim" had a stock answer. "My mother always told me she knew I would do something great with my life.
"I didn't think that was possible, but I figured she must know something about me that I didn't. So I tackled one hurdle after another, doing the best I knew how and God blessed my hard work."
His mom's words--and her confidence--echoed in his mind all his days.
He picked up on her example and frequently spoke love and confidence to his wife and children. In the workplace Jim became known as "the spark plug" because he buoyed up those around him.
Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing. 1 Thessalonians 5:11 ESV
What about us?
Our words are power-packed, too. If you doubt that, think back to the last time someone's thoughtless remark cut deep and you can't forget it.
Who among us has never spewed out our frustrations on whomever was handy? Perhaps your husband or wife caught the brunt of it. Or your child. No doubt it affected your relationship and you wished you could take back your words.
Knowing we've all done it doesn't take away our regret. Or the sting of our angry, hurtful words.
Then there's gossip and "sharing" without the other person's permission. Loose lips have sunk many a relationship.
Set a guard over my mouth, LORD; keep watch over the door of my lips. Psalm 141:3 NIV
Make it a habit to be a people-booster
Call to mind the last time you expressed your confidence in someone. They may have said, "Yeah, sure," and turned away. Later on you noticed they stood just a bit taller and looked quietly pleased.
Why? Just ask yourself whether you'd prefer a pat on the back or a kick in the pants.
Let each of us please his neighbor for his good, to build him up. Romans 15:2 ESV
How do we want to be thought of?
You and I affect the present--and the future--of people we love because they care what we think.
Think how often you hear an adult--even an older adult--remark, "My mother--or dad--always said . . . "
Our children care, too, even when they seem not to. Even after they've grown and gone.
It's the same in a marriage. We either build each other up or tear each other down. The choice is always before us.
Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them. Ephesians 4:29 LNT
We affect ourselves, too
It's not complicated. If I fill my mind with what's wrong or what's missing in my life, I'm on my way to a lousy day.
If I get stuck on what I wish were there in the people in my life, I find all kinds of new "evidence" to prove my point.
On the other hand, if I set out to identify what's right and good and true in life or in people, that comes through, too.
So then let us pursue what makes for peace and for mutual upbuilding. Romans 14:19 ESV
We find what we look for
It's like the camera filters and other enhancements professional photographers use which enable them to screen out smog and smoke and haze. Their finished photos show only blue skies and white, puffy clouds.
Similarly, our words and thoughts become our "filters" and affect the way we--or others--view life.
You may think it overly simplistic, but rather, consider it a basic truth. The words of people we love and admire factor in to our motivation, either positively or negatively.
As for our words to others, we can use them as weapons or we can warm someone's heart and lift their spirits.
Once again, it's our choice.
Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone. Colossians 4:6 NIV
As usual, the Apostle Paul summed it up well
Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing . . . Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. 1 Thessalonians 5:11; 16-18 ESV
By the way, thank you for reading my words!
Still learning,
Lenore
