A WOMAN'S VIEW ~ Lenore Buth

Search out reasons to rejoice, whatever comes

Not many of us are in the mood to rejoice right now

In 2020, rejoicing is not what comes to mind. 

Ever since Covid-19 dropped in to stay we've lived with wondering and waiting, with warnings and restrictions on all sides.

Still, reasons to be thankful are jumping up and down to be noticed, especially if we live in these United States. If that were not true why would people all over the world want to come here?

As for being blessed, hey, we're alive--and able to read, aren't we?  

Thanksgiving is not a date on a calendar, nor a signal to eat until we're stuffed. 

Thanks-giving is a matter of the mind and heart, meant to be our every-day attitude.

Once we plug in that perspective it changes our view of life. We stop bemoaning what's missing and start being glad for what is.  

For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.  2 Timothy 1:7  

Sweep away misconceptions about that first Thanksgiving   

Start with The Mayflower. Forget any idea that it was roomy. This was a merchant ship only 64 feet long. That's about as far as from a baseball pitcher's mound to home plate. As for speed, this vessel crossed the Atlantic at a breathtaking two miles an hour.  

Human passengers were regarded as cargo and consigned to the dark cargo space. Those 102 Pilgrims were packed into an area about half the size of a basketball court, with ceilings less than five feet high. Their group included 18 married couples, with their children of various ages. Two wives were pregnant and one delivered her baby during the voyage.

They endured limited space, little privacy and poor ventilation for 66 days and nights. Finally, on November 11, 1620, the captain spotted Cape Cod and dropped anchor offshore in the New World.  

No inns with warm rooms and cushy beds awaited them

They had only one place for shelter and provision:  The Mayflower.

When they looked toward land, toward their destination in the New World, they saw only the unknown. Fear stalked them day and night. Their constant challenge was to trust that God would bring them through. 

The Mayflower was scheduled to sail back to England in spring so they dared not dawdle in establishing their new community. Through those harsh winter months the men daily rowed to shore, working together to build basic shelter for their group, as well as for chickens and pigs they brought with them.   

They also dug graves. By the first Thanksgiving only 50 of the 102 Pilgrims who left England still lived. Just three of the 18 married couples remained intact.  

Pause long enough to that sink in. Imagine their heavy hearts. Yet they set aside their grief to praise God and be thankful in the midst of their pain.  

He gives strength to the weary, and to him who lacks might, He increases power.  Isaiah 40:29

Do we have what it takes to do the same?

We, too, survive only because God enables us to keep breathing and gives strength for each day.

These days of 2020 are the days in which we live. Do we really want to write off this entire year as a waste? How much better if we aim to make the most of what is.  

Let's be on the alert for the good in life and be ready to praise it. In people. In family members. It's always there, even in hard times. 

Whatever our situation, we still get to choose our outlook and to speak the good word. Many a heart has been lifted by a kind word, even when spoken by a stranger. Be the one who speaks it.

Therefore, encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.  1 Thessalonians 5:11  

Share your lessons learned

Some of us never speak of our mistakes, as if we've skated along through life with never a rough spot. That may protect our egos, but it cheats our children and grandchildren.

We can bless them by gently telling stories about our ups and downs and lessons learned--and how God brought us through. Were there times we "feasted" on Spam because we couldn't afford turkey? Pass on that tale, if only to show it's possible to rejoice and to laugh, even when life's not perfect. 

Will they still make their own choices, their own mistakes? Almost certainly. Didn't we insist on doing the same?

Most importantly, as we share our stories, let's point to the One who always, always gets us through our days. 

Oh give thanks to the Lord, for he is good, for his steadfast love endures forever!   Psalm 107:1

Thanking God reminds us we're not alone--and we never were

Neither were the Pilgrims. They never denied their pain and their losses, but they chose to focus on God's goodness and faithfulness through it all. 

God is good to us, too--and he is with us every moment of every day.

That's reason for thanks and praise, even when life is less than perfect. Even when time drags on and we can't see an end to the waiting. Even then. 

 All he asks is that we trust in Jesus as our Savior.

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.  John 3:16

Therefore, as you received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in him, rooted and built up in him and established in the faith, just as you were taught, abounding in thanksgiving.  Colossians 2:6-7 

Trusting, too,

Lenore

Let's open our eyes to all the quiet heroes in our midst

Have you noticed how easily we overlook individuals who don't have a lot of flash and dash?

We applaud those who show great bravery at times of danger and disaster--and we should. They're easy to spot. 

But we often miss the soft-spoken people who serve in the background and keep on doing it. People like "Marian," a woman I met at a convention when we ended up next to each other at lunch.

We talked about the morning's spiritual growth workshop. Marian said, "I always think maybe this time I'll figure out what I'm equipped to do for the Lord, but I still don't know. 

"It's not because I haven't tried, but I just can't find my place, like in my church. I get tongue-tied in front of a group. Can't play an instrument, can't even carry a tune.

"I've tried teaching, but the problem is I never want to be up front."  

She sighed as she got up to leave and said, "I think when the good Lord was giving out gifts, He just passed me by."

Later that day I met "Kate"

She said, "I saw you talking to Marian. Years ago she belonged to my little church.  

"We don't have enough members to have lots of committees and boards and meetings. When something needs doing, we all just pitch in to get it done. This works real well for us most of the time. Or it did for a long time.

"Then one Sunday Fred had to run to the convenience store and buy coffee before he could get the coffeepot going. After church we regulars drank our coffee and talked, like we always do.

"Fred told us about the empty supply cupboard. Doris said she couldn't find any cleaning supplies when it was her turn to clean. That never happened before. Then Joe said, 'The last few Sundays I got here early, like always, and had to sweep off the church steps and sidewalks. Never had to do that before.' 

"Marge said, 'Sounds like things are falling apart around here. What's changed?'"

The rest of the story

Kate shifted in her chair. "Then my husband said, 'Only one change I can think of: Marian moved away.'"

"We looked at each other and it was like that Bible verse about scales falling from our eyes. Marian never missed church and always sat in the same pew. A nice, quiet lady who always served food at potlucks and then washed up dishes afterwards. 

"Somehow we never guessed that on her own she stocked us up on supplies and swept the walks--and who knows what else? George said he'd been treasurer for years and Marian never turned in a bill.

"We all felt terrible," Kate said. "We wrote letters to her and all that, but how do you make up for never noticing, never saying 'Thanks' while she was with us?

"I'm ashamed to say we never really saw Marian for who she was." 

Don't we all do that, even with people we love?

For instance, we parents sometimes fall into that trap with our children.

We assume our "good kid," the one who almost never worries us and always finishes homework and chores--doesn't need our attention or our praise.  

On the other hand, our child who struggles, the one who keeps us frustrated--and praying--gets extra time and we're ready to applaud every little accomplishment. We tell ourselves that one needs it more.  

That's understandable, sure, but is it fair?

It can happen in a marriage, too

It's easy for a husband and wife to get used to their couple style and just bump around in the same life hardly noticing each other. Over time that can  rob a marriage of its sparkle. 

Or one spouse may under-value the fact their mate has a faithful, giving heart full of love and say, "Oh well, that's just how he (or she) is."

Words like that make it sound as if it costs nothing to be loving and to be one who can be counted on because "that's just how they are." 

In marriage--and in life--it's way too easy to take a person's love and support for granted, as we do having air to breathe.

The one who feels unappreciated may think, Why bother?  

Always, love is an action verb

The good, quiet people live in the same world as everyone else. They face pressures and get tired and sometimes want to quit, too.

But they don't. They stay.

They keep doing what needs doing and what they're supposed to do, without reminders. Without being noticed. All the while they're living out love. 

Do we see them? (And cherish them if we live with them?)

Do we tell them we appreciate them and their generous hearts?  

Do we let them know they are loved?

A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in a setting of silver.                                                            Proverbs 25:11  ESV

I thank my God in all my remembrance of you. Philippians 1:3  ESV

A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another.  John 13:34  ESV

This Thanksgiving season let's express what we feel

Let's resolve to say "Thank you" more often. Let's say that word, write that note, make that call now.  

Who do you know that's a hero who keeps on keepin' on and could use a verbal pat on the back?

Who do you know that needs your good words?

Still learning, always,

Lenore

Did someone mess up your Camelot?

Some of us may be thinking that right now.

Camelot, the stuff dreams are made of.

Camelot, the mythical kingdom where the flowers always bloomed and the sun always shone. Perfection.

In that magical place no maiden ever felt a pang of distress for long because somehow, a brave knight always waited to rescue her--and just in time.

Ladies in elaborate gowns sipped tea and cakes--yet never had to boil or bake.

Never was heard an angry word and tranquility reigned, at least on the surface. 

Ah, Camelot. Or if you prefer, Downton Abbey.

Either one will do--provided it comes with a downstairs staff and Mr. Carson.

The problem is, you and I live in the real world

With real people. 

People we find hard to tolerate, not because they've harmed us but because, well, just because. Who needs more reason than that? 

People with whom we may disagree. Strongly. Yet here we are living in the same world, maybe right next door to each other.

Business associates and political leaders--whoever they are--probably will let us down and we will chafe at them even being allowed to hold power of any kind. 

On a personal level, sometimes even the best of us let each other down. Husbands fail wives and wives fail their husbands. Parents fail their children--and vice versa. Friends walk out of our lives and we don't know why.

All this is part of the human condition. If we expect any person in our lives to be perfect, it's a dream more elusive than Camelot.  

And we set ourselves up to be disappointed because we human beings are, well, human. That is, flawed.

The trick is to stop looking "out there" and focus on what's good 

Most of us can call to mind at least a few times we under-valued what we have. That's a waste. When we take it for granted we can forget we are blessed .  

How we live, how we treat the people in our lives and the choices we make are within our control. That's true whoever we are and whatever our life situation.

Even if everything is stripped away, we still decide our outlook on life.

Will we keep a running list of what we lack or will we open our eyes to ways we are blessed?  

It's our own four walls that spell home and warmth, not those stunning houses we see on HGTV.

It's the flesh-and-blood people in our lives who fill our hearts and give life meaning, not the "beautiful people" we may read about or admire on TV. 

It's our own bodies and health we need to care for, whatever our shape or size and whatever the state of our health.

God gifts us with each day and that alone is reason to celebrate.

Perhaps it's time for a turnaround in our thinking

First comes the knowing. Then comes the will to appreciate who we are and what we have.  

Can we change? Absolutely. We just need to take the Apostle Paul at his word.  

[This is what the LORD says] "Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?"  --Isaiah 43:18-19  NIV

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!  --2 Corinthians 5:17   NIV

In Jesus Christ, we are new, with new eyes. And we can turn to him as long as there's breath in our bodies. 

As for Camelot--or Downton Abbey--I'd love to visit sometime. But I wouldn't trade the joys and challenges of relating to real life and real people. 

(Still, it would be nice to have a downstairs staff, don't you think?)

Blessings,

Lenore