More is caught than taught.
The first time I heard this catchy phrase the truth of it grabbed me. I thought immediately of parents and children.
Sorry, that's too easy. This phrase applies to all of us. At any age and any stage of life.
Let's face it, each of us is a sponge. Without even thinking about it we soak up the moods and attitudes of people we spend time with.
If that's true for adults, think how much more that applies to children and teens.
Certainly they are less-experienced and therefore, likely to be more gullible. In the usual school situation, they spend their days absorbing what teachers and textbooks tell them is true.
All the while, multiple choices of social media are as close as their fingertips--and many of them are downright dangerous. Any time of day or night they can easily connect with information they assume comes from "people who know."
Are we adults any better?
How often do we check our cell phones? Or the Internet? Some of us stay glued to the Internet or TV from waking to bedtime every day. Media stars, books, newspapers and magazines color our opinions, too.
Celebrities rave--for pay--about certain products. Talk show hosts with time slots to fill interview authors of books sent to them (free) by publishers. And we take it all in, often without much thought about what we just saw and heard.
Then you or I or the people next door just "happen" to buy said product or book.
Our children take their cues from us
Almost from the moment our kids pop onto the scene we become their main role models. I wasn't ready for that. Were you?
In no time I learned that little ones are all eyes and ears--and they don't miss a thing. Especially our bad habits.
In their early years youngsters want to be "just like Mommy" or "just like Daddy." That's why they galumph around the house wearing our way-too-big shoes.
It's one of life's mysteries how a youngster can go straight from that stage (it seems) to adolescence, when they announce the last thing they want is to be like either parent.
What do we do then? Ron Taffel, described as "a child-rearing expert," nails it:
Even as kids reach adolescence, they need more than ever for us to watch over them. Adolescence is not about letting go. It's about hanging on during a very bumpy ride.
Still watching us
I used to think once our kids were grown we would have no influence on them. Not true.
Even when they're adults who live perfectly fine lives on their own, our children unconsciously look to us as role models.
In some instances that sounds contradictory, especially if a son or daughter seems bent on doing everything they can to be different from us.
Think of it this way. They may keep an eye on what we do and say to track whether the standards we preached while they were growing up were just for them or for us, too.
When family tales are good for a laugh
The bride was preparing a huge dinner for the couple's extended family. She planned to serve a baked ham and cut off the end of it before she put it in the baking pan. When her husband asked why, she answered, "Because Mom always did."
When feast day arrived the young hostess asked, "Mom, I cut off the end of the ham like you always do and Jason asked why. I didn't know. Why did you always do that?"
Her mother thought a bit. "I guess because Grandma always whacked off the end of the ham. Let's ask her."
After Grandma stopped laughing she said, "Well, I had to. My only pan was too small for a big ham."
That, my friends, is one of the ways lifestyles and funny little quirks can live on for generations.
Every one of us is somebody's child
We, too, carry around pluses and minuses we "caught" from our parents and childhood relationships. Sometimes it can take years before we understand that and see clearly. That makes it worth every once in awhile asking ourselves:
How many traits and foibles of my parents do I still hang onto?
Are they helping me or dragging me down?
Which one(s) do I need to leave behind?
If you want to shed some old thinking but you don't know how to change, don't give up. Here's the Good News: You don't have to do it on your own. You have Jesus on your side.
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold the new has come. --2 Corinthians 5:17 ESV
For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength. --Philippians 4:13 NLT
Start now, with baby steps. One at a time. Keep your eyes always focused on the One who makes all things new.
Best of all is when we can hang on to what was good in our growing-up years and combine it with what the Lord has taught us in our adult lives.
Learning and growing never stop--and aren't you glad of that?
Lenore