A WOMAN'S VIEW ~ Lenore Buth

Inner peace is closer than you think

Everybody wants it, but apparently not many of us can hang onto it.

That's strange, isn't it, when bookstores and libraries offer yards of books telling us how to find peace, not to mention Google's gazillion experts. 

But we keep looking.

We pore over articles and books about mental health and happy living and serenity. Some are quirky and off-the-wall, easy to discard. Many others offer good advice and sound principles.

If you're like me you may have followed somebody's program a few times--and it worked. For awhile.  

I found--and maybe you did, too--before long the "what ifs?" and "if onlys" slithered in again, invading my thoughts and churning my gut.

All the while I said I believed in Jesus--and I meant it.

Still, I often asked myself, What's your problem? Don't you know you are blessed?

I did. I do. 

The breakthrough cometh

I finally got it through my granite skull that peace will never be found "out there someplace" and came back to what I've always said--and thought--I believed:

Only one wisdom source holds true over the centuries: God's word, the Bible.

What's more, it's not about finding peace.

Peace is an inside job, a matter of the heart and will. The Apostle Paul spelled out the secret in his letter to the Colossians:

And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful.  Colossians 3:15  ESV

"Let," the little word with giant implications

After checking the definition on www.dictionary.com I came up with three questions based on the meanings given.

• Will I allow Christ's peace into my heart?
• Will I permit it to rule over the "stuff" that threatens to overwhelm me?
• Will I grant his peace and calmness occupancy in my heart and mind? 

Ouch. That confirms what I suspected. My biggest hindrance stares back at me from every mirror.

And yet he loves me anyway, even though I'm pocked with flaws in my perfect facade.

"Shalom"

This beautiful Hebrew word means peace of body, mind and spirit. A sense of completeness. Wholeness. Harmony.

It's a peace beyond our human understanding, the kind Jesus spoke about to his disciples:  

"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid."   John 14:27  ESV

Isn't that what we all long for? 

Jesus died and rose again to fill us with new life and peace. Once we know him as our Savior he lives within us by his Spirit. 

Not because we're good enough.

Not because of who we are or what we do.

Only--only--by grace, that is, the undeserved love and forgiveness we have through faith in Jesus. 

No more worries, it's a done deal 

Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ.  Romans 5:1  ESV

We have peace with God. Now. Forever.

I know, I know, it sounds too simple. We want some tangible proof that guarantees we'll never slip back into unrest.

If that's true how can my sense of peace slip away as if by gravity?

It's not gravity, it's that inner tormentor, a.k.a. the devil, who never stops trying to pull us back.  

That "roaring lion" (1 Peter 5:8) tiptoes in like a pussycat and purrs, "Oh really?"

I've found I need to watch my thoughts and my words so I spot anxiety and negativity before they take hold.

That's the time to remind myself who I am in Jesus and read or repeat verses like those above.

Just as important: "And be thankful"

Did you notice those three words in Colossians 3:15? 

The more we look for reasons to be thankful the more we find--even in the midst of trying times. 

It's not a magic charm. When we thank God for what's good it changes our focus on ourselves. It turns our gaze on him and all the ways he blesses us, day in and day out. 

Best of all it reminds us who we are in Jesus Christ: God's much-loved child.  

Our moods and our times of feeling discouraged make no difference in this equation. It's not about meeting some elusive standard or "having the right stuff."

It's all about Jesus and believing he loves us.

Could there be a better key to inner peace?

Still learning, 

Lenore

 

Tame the "turkeys" in your life

They're all around us, the people who drag us down and leave us mired in their words. Or attitudes. Some of us call them turkeys--and don't ask me why. 

It might be a neighbor or friend who harps on the same gripes, time after time. Or it could might be someone seated beside you and for whatever reason, you can't escape. It could even be (gasp!) someone in your family.

A number of turkeys have their own talk shows, either on radio or TV. We listen while doing other tasks and tell ourselves we're not really paying attention, so what difference could it make in how we look at life?  

Answer: More than we think.

Held captive by a turkey  

Several years ago I sat in a small hair salon and next to me, a turkey was holding forth. This woman held a low opinion of everybody and everything, which she delighted to proclaim--loudly--to everyone within listening range.  

Spoke so loudly that the rest of us gave up trying to carry on conversations and just sat there, squirming and looking uncomfortable. I was mid-haircut, etc., so there was no escape.

The longer the turkey talked, the more excited she got. She actually glowed with excitement.

We all live with turkeys around us, so what can we do?

As I drove home, I thought how once again, I so quickly felt that downward pull and got stuck in someone else's bad mood. I've learned when that happens it's no time until we get stuck on the negatives, too, and forget what's good. 

Maybe you live or work with someone like that woman in the salon. Or perhaps you fight that tendency in yourself.

A seminar speaker offered one explanation of the way this works. He explained it as a process somewhat like the force of gravity. We don't have to be able to explain everything about physics to know that gravity is real and it exerts a downward force on objects--and people. 

This speaker's whole emphasis was that we "catch" one another's moods. Curiously, negativity and dark outlooks spread faster than positive moods. It's as if they become weights--or yokes--we carry around with us.

Staying "up" is possible 

That speaker laid out an effective technique that can turn us around when we're feeling down. All that's required is a pen and paper and a few minutes of time to think as we make some lists.

People choose their own names for their lists. For example, "My gratitude list," "Things I'm thankful for," or "Things I'm happy about."

Write your choice(s) as a heading at the top. Then think of at least ten things that fit. For example, maybe you're in a hard place right now, but did you wake up this morning? Could you taste what you ate? See the colors in the landscape outside your window?

You get the idea. Use the same technique with people. Try making a list of your husband's good points--and write at least ten things, even if you have to dig for them.

One woman in the group asked, "Right now I'm so frustrated with that man I can't think of anything he does right except he rinses out the sink after he brushes his teeth. Does that count?"

Our speaker replied, "Absolutely. Start small. Don't be looking for big things like, 'My husband always shares his feelings with me' or you may never find ten things to be thankful for."

We all laughed, but he made a good point

Do the same for each child, even--or especially--the one who's giving you trouble right now.

The point of it all is that we fail to see individuals as they are. We forget to notice what's good in the people around us. Instead, we fixate on what annoys us and before long, we can't see the person's good qualities and kind actions.   

It's time to take off the blinders. Prepare to be surprised, because listing reasons to be thankful will turn out to be fun and you'll be making more lists. 

This pays a lovely dividend, too. Once we switch perspectives we become more aware of what's good and right and true. We appreciate the people in our lives more. When that happens, especially when we tell them so, they relax and appreciate us back.

Before long we take a fresh look at our world--and it's good

Before long we realize our "turkey" has a beauty we had shut our hearts to. 

Sooner or later we come to understand that for awhile, we got stuck on this individual's minuses instead of pluses. 

How do I know this works? More than once, I've seen how it works. Why not try it yourself? Betcha you'll like it!

Meanwhile, let's keep in mind that God creates individuals, not carbon copies

So why do we keep laying our expectations on each other?

Each of us is a mix. I've learned over the years that what I judge to be missing in a person often turns out to be a strength, a quality God can--and does--use in ways I never ever envisioned.

(This turns out to be true for each of us, even ourselves.)

Encouragement for your journey

If you're like me, you find it easier to work on a better outlook when you find the same or similar truths in the Bible. Let me share some reassurance from God's Book.

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.   Jeremiah 29:11

For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.    Ephesians 2:10

(Jesus said) "I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him , he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing."   John 15:5

P.S. 

One more thing comes to mind. Years ago someone's turn of phrase caught my attention and stayed in my mind. I've found it to be true in every relationship, in every part of life. One thing never changes:

"What you look for is what you will find."

(I guess this means I need to take my own advice and that long-ago "turkey" in the hair salon probably was an otherwise-nice woman who just needed to talk ... )

Here's to looking for the good in people and in our lives,

Lenore

To raise your quality of life, start with these five words

In this ever-churning world, how do we stay calm?

Years ago, during one of our weekly family trips to our public library, I picked up a book with an enticing title: How to Stop Worrying and Start Living, by Dale Carnegie.

Once I started reading it, his use of one phrase grabbed hold of me:  

"Live in day-tight compartments."

Five unremarkable words, yet they kept playing in my mind. Later I realized they echo Psalm 118:24, which I learned as a child: 

This is the day that the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.  ESV

I had repeated those beautiful words many times, but for whatever reason, they had not yet "sunk in."  

This time, they did and changed the way I looked at life.

Life sometimes seems like too much to handle 

Those five words hit me because they so neatly summed up what I needed to do. At the time, I was a busy young wife and mom who seldom sat down and never, ever got through my To Do list.

Don't get me wrong. Our life brimmed with joy and hard work and the blessed sound of four little girls giggling. I loved my husband and our kids with all my heart.

I had everything to be thankful for--and I truly was--but I often felt overwhelmed. 

In quiet moments that nuisance inner voice whispered, "Are you sure you have what it takes? What about all you have to  do tomorrow? And next week? And what will you do when all these girls become teenagers?"  

Outwardly, I smiled. Inwardly, I low-level simmered with self-doubt.  

Finding a new perspective

"Live in day-tight compartments" showed me a better way to think.

Carnegie used the analogy of an ocean liner, in which the captain shuts off any leaking compartments to keep the vessel afloat.

The rest of us can live that way, too, he says over and over.  

Here's how. We close the door on yesterday and its failures, as deliberately as we shut the door to a room. Then--just for today--we block out our "what ifs" and fears and worries about the future.

That leaves this day, the one we actually are living in, the one the Lord has given us. From this 24 hours we determine to squeeze out every drop of joy and satisfaction.

What about problems and troubles? Carnegie promises any of us can deal with anything for one day. What sinks us is wondering how we will get through tomorrow and the day after that.

The more I thought about it, the more I realized he spoke truth. It sounded too simple, but then, great truths often are.

Jesus said it first

Remember the Sermon on the Mount? In Matthew, chapters 5-7, Jesus addressed the crowds. His words come loaded with wisdom for living, like: 

"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."   Matthew 6:34   NIV

Jesus taught this centuries before Carnegie's "day-tight compartments." His words imply we are to leave our "woulda, coulda, shouldas" in the past, as well, simply because they are history.  

As for our nameless fears about the future, they don't belong in this day, either.  Deal with tomorrow, tomorrow.

Substitute prayer for worry  

Prayer is simply talking to God, openly sharing what's on our hearts, giving him the whole load of it. The goods, the bads and yes, sometimes the uglies of it.

For many of us, prayer weaves through every part of our lives.  

Casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.  1 Peter 5:7  ESV

For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.  2 Timothy 1:7  ESV

I learned a lot from books but oh, so much more from spending time in the Bible and participating in good Bible studies. I discovered treasures like Philippians 4:5-7, which I copied onto a sticky note and posted it on my bathroom mirror. Here, it's from the J. B. Phillips paraphrase:

Don’t worry over anything whatever; tell God every detail of your needs in earnest and thankful prayer, and the peace of God which transcends human understanding, will keep constant guard over your hearts and minds as they rest in Christ Jesus. 

Trust-worthy words that can change your life

If you're looking for words with power to change your life and give you peace, turn to the Bible.

Skeptics and naysayers have challenged and ridiculed and argued about it on all sides, yet the Bible endures over the centuries. What's more, no one has found any errors in it. In fact, recent findings by today's archaeologists simply back up the dates and facts as given.  

Perhaps you've tried to read it, but didn't or couldn't understand.

Try again. Ask God to open your understanding, then start with the Gospel of Matthew or the Gospel of John. Take your time, but stick with reading it--and I promise, it will get easier.

If you have a smart phone or computer you can download the Bible through one of the many Holy Bible apps that offer the NIV or ESV translations, as well as others. Then you will hear the text, word-for-word all through the Bible, read by excellent narrators.  

What next? Live out biblical truths as best you can and trust the Holy Spirit to gently change you from the inside out so that you will feel peace and calm within. Find a church where the Bible is front-and-center and held up as God's Truth, without error and reliable, and where you feel the joy as people of faith come together. 

Will you still have questions and struggles? Probably, either ongoing or from time to time, because life goes on and none of us is perfect. Will they swamp your "boat?"

Never. You'll keep growing and you will notice less stress within.   

Self-help vs. faith-on-the-grow

Carnegie and countless other writers teach principles and techniques. They tell us we have control over our thoughts and attitudes, not vice versa.  

The trouble is, each one maintains that WE can change ourselves if we just try hard enough.  

The truth is, we all need help and inner change is an inside job.

The Bible tells us again and again that when we trust in Jesus, his Holy Spirit in our hearts gently changes us from the inside out. Changes us for real.  

Jesus said in John 10:10b:

"I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full."  NIV

Consider the Bible a storehouse filled with good words for living. Words that can transform your life because they testify of God's grace in Jesus Christ, the Savior.

By now I've lived long enough to know this goes way beyond theory. This is truth. Take these words to heart, my friend, and be at peace.

God bless you,

Lenore