If you sometimes feel lonely in a group of people, I'm right there with you.
During my growing-up years our family moved several times so I often was "the new kid" at school--and I hated it. Since my favorite things to do were reading a book or singing a song I didn't exactly attract a crowd of new friends.
Every single time I ached to fit in, to be noticed, to be known--and liked--just because I was me. If you're thinking that was all in my mind, you could be right. Still, I remember the sadness of so often feeling on the outside looking in.
It's been said that every human being wears an invisible sign that reads, "Please love me."
Isn't that what we all want?
Feeling accepted goes beyond winning a prize or promotion and speaks to our value as human beings--individuals worth knowing just because we're us.
Yet many of us feel no more distinctive than one fir tree in a thick forest of look-alike fir trees. If we took the time and studied that evergreen more closely we would discover that tree is unique in some way.
So are we.
Why do we so easily forget that?
God made us one-of-a-kind for a reason
Our individual temperaments and personalities, our natural talents and abilities distinctively flavor our family, our church, our school, our workplace, our community.
Perhaps we think what we add is insignificant, but it's not. Imagine trying to make a pumpkin pie without that "insignificant" quarter-teaspoon of cloves.
It's as if you are cloves, she is nutmeg and I am cinnamon. Leave out any one of those and your pumpkin pie will still be edible and might even look the same. But it won't taste the same.
That's how it is in families, in a church, in any gathering of old friends or on the job. Something is missing when this one or that one isn't present.
You and I may never be able to identify which "spice" we sprinkle into the mix. But if we tell ourselves, "Well, I'm nothing special," we deny the obvious.
No one else can be you and no one else can be me
No one else can replicate our individual presence or share the gift(s) within each one of us.
I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. Psalm 139:14
It helps to repeat this truth to ourselves however many times a day it takes until we believe it. And we need to plant that message deep within each child, whether our own or the one(s) we teach or care for.
Are we perfect? Of course not. We're only human, after all. A few of us may reach the heights, but most of us will go on day after day, simply being faithful in doing what's before us and showing up when someone is counting on us.
That's no small thing, in case you hadn't noticed. Ask anyone who longs for a friend or spouse they can count on, even when the going gets tough.
Instead of counting up what we lack, why not keep track of our pluses?
It's not bragging to simply recognize our strengths. Even better, keep a running list. Wind down your day by giving yourself a hand for the time(s) when you know you did something right. Or demonstrated strength in a trying situation. This simple step nourishes our inner selves, depleted by the day, and reminds us of our worth.
The logical next step is to thank God. First, for enabling us, but also for instilling within us what we needed to do what we did.
For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. Ephesians 2:10
"God's workmanship." That means even though some of us may feel--in our younger years or now--that we're a bit "odd," eventually we will begin to understand how the pieces fit together.
If you're having trouble identifying your particular "good works," here's a surprise
Think of those things you "just feel like doing." Or examine the choices you make in what you do every day, or your work or what you volunteer for because "it sounds interesting."
The late Frederick Buechner sheds some light on how we can figure out who we are:
Thus, when you wake up in the morning, called by God to be a self again, if you want to know who you are, watch your feet. Because where your feet take you, that is who you are.
For me at least, those two sentences help me clarify my thoughts and clear away confusion about where I belong.
It's okay for you to be you and me to be me
We are different, you and I, yet in our own way we each "stand out in the crowd."
Whether we've known it or not, what we do and where we are is no accident.
At the same time we can be excited, because who knows what God has lined up for us next?
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11
He knows. Knows the reasons why. Knows the where and knows the when. Each day becomes our personal "voyage of discovery."
Whatever lies ahead, He's got it all covered. Not to worry.
Why not choose to live each day at peace and with joy?
Lenore
