A WOMAN'S VIEW ~ Lenore Buth

Does the Bible still matter in our time?

After all, it dates back over centuries. How could the Bible still be relevant today?

This may sound like a logical question to many. I got a lesson in the "how" of it when my husband got a job promotion that kept the man I loved smiling from morning to night. Why wouldn't he? For years he had studied and taken extra training to move him toward that goal.  

I rejoiced for him, truly I did, but I loved the place we were living. The place where I had established an identity and enjoyed interacting with other writers in the area.  

We talked but managed to skirt around this touchy subject. I asked myself what would it accomplish to complain and rob him of his joy? I knew the answer: Nothing good.

Somehow, some way I would learn to love this new place.

Once we moved into our new digs my husband settled into his position as if it were tailored just for him. Morning to evening he was engrossed and energized.  

Each day I watched his car fade from sight, then asked myself, Now what?

No answers came, but I clung to what I knew: Our loving God would not bless my husband and leave me, his wife, abandoned. I would wait. 

"Be still and know that I am God ..."  Psalm 46:10  NIV

Finding my place

A month or two later I learned of the local chapter of the same Bible study a friend "back home" had often praised. Because I always wished I had her excitement about the Bible I decided to give it a try.  

The next week I went to orientation and signed up. The teaching leader addressed the large audience of class members and us newbies, explaining the day's lesson based on Exodus, including Chapters 13 to 16.

She began with how God delivered the children of Israel from slavery

He parted the Red Sea and brought them across on dry land, a miracle for sure. Freedom! Yet soon they grumbled and complained against God's provision for them as they wandered in the wilderness.

Then she looked out at us and it seemed she looked directly at me. "Are you wandering around in a dry, dusty wilderness of your own making?"

At once I knew that I was! I was! 

Then she moved on to how the children of Israel yearned for the abundant meats and fresh produce back in Egypt--where they had been slaves. Our merciful God provided fresh, bountiful supplies of Manna and quail for each day, yet in no time they started griping about being tired of the same old, same old.

With her next question once again it seemed the leader fixed her gaze on me. "Are you murmuring against God's provision for you because it doesn't live up to your specifications?"

My heart started pounding. Immediately I knew the Holy Spirit had just spoken truth to my heart and mind through that stranger. I saw clearly that God moved us to that place for my husband, yes, but also for me. 

Don't ask me how I knew. I just did.

I drove home asking God to forgive me for my weeks of self-centeredness. When my husband came home I asked his forgiveness, too, but that darling man shushed me and folded me into his love. Finally, he had his wife back.

From then on I read the Bible with new eyes

Now I knew firsthand the truth of Hebrews 4:12: "The word of God is living and active ..." God's living Word spoke to me and changed me. For life.

Since then whenever I read the Bible I look for:

• What do these verses say? What do they say to me?
• What can I learn from this account, from these individuals, on ways to live--or not live?
• What principles can I use in my life? Right now?
• What's my takeaway?

Often these truths pop out at me. Other times I need to be quiet and ponder awhile, waiting for what comes to mind.

Or I think I know what a verse means and then find some new facet that's useful for my life. 

One thing is sure. I never come away empty. God's Holy Spirit makes sure of that.

Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words.   Romans 8:26  ESV 

No worries about "doing it right"

It's no more complicated than this: Relax and be still.

All it takes is that we make the time and ask God the Holy Spirit to give us teachable hearts, to open the Word to our understanding and to reveal his Truth. Take a few notes--or don't. Then chew on what you've read throughout the day.

As for being in a Bible study group what's good is that we all learn from each other as we share how the Lord works in our lives. It can be the setting for sharing prayer needs and growing friendships, as well. 

All Scripture is inspired by God is and is useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives.   2 Timothy 3:16  NLT

Always, always, always, it helps to remind ourselves that as God's children through faith in Jesus, HE is with us and guiding us.

The surprise at the end 

God did have a purpose for me in that move. I stayed in the Bible study and became a group leader, where I found new meaning and made friends. Two and one-half years later my husband received another promotion. Once again I knew it fit him exactly right and once again, I regretted leaving behind what I had grown to love.  

This time I knew from experience that whatever God provided for my husband would also turn out to be right for me. 

God is faithful, by whom you were called into the fellowship of his Son, Jesus Christ our Lord.   1 Corinthians 1:9  ESV

Still learning,

Lenore 

Be careful what your facial expression broadcasts

We seldom think about the messages we send the world, but we should.

I got a shocking reminder of that truth one day when I was out shopping. A smiling white-haired lady who looked a bit like my late grandmother put her hand on my shoulder and said, "Aw, Honey, it can't be that bad."

I stared at her in confusion and said, "Excuse me? I don't know what you mean."

Eyes twinkling, she smiled and said, "Well, I noticed you look like you lost your last friend. I just want you to know whatever the trouble is, you'll get through it and it helps to smile. That's all.

"Now you take care of yourself, Sweetie. Whatever's going on with you, it's just life. Sometimes life is hard, but you can do hard, I know you can. You'll be okay."

I thanked her for caring, still mystified.

Then I passed a mirror--and stopped short. She was right. I did look grim.

Do you ever do that?

That day I realized I probably wore that face more often than I knew. Whether I label it "concentration" or "preoccupied," that face was not a good idea. 

• First, because pinching up one's face leads to (gasp!) wrinkles.
• Second, because what people read on our faces affects their moods.
• Third, because if we say we have the joy and peace of Jesus, we'd better look as if we do. Otherwise our words of faith sound empty.
• Fourth--and just as important--it's not fair to the people in our world.

As someone said, we owe the world a happy face

Why? Because you and I affect the people around us. Our families. Our co-workers. Strangers in stores.

Each of them is walking around and dealing with their lives and their problems, which may be all they can manage at the moment. Why should they have to dredge up strength to keep from "catching" our bad moods? 

If you're a mom or dad you probably know that when we parents crackle with tension our kids walk on tiptoe around us.

And if we live in Tension City our children pattern the behavior as the way to live. Our uptight way of coping with life becomes their "normal."

Yes, but "Nobody knows the trouble I seen . . . "

That old spiritual speaks truth, doesn't it? No one can know or feel exactly what another person is living with. As the song says, nobody knows our hurt and pain but Jesus, who says:

"Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28  ESV

"Heavy laden." Don't we feel that way sometimes? 

The NIV translates that verse:

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." 

Whether we're feeling overworked and over-stressed, weighed down by cares or stuck in a situation we cannot change, He can give us rest.

It's the only rest that lasts. 

Eight hours of sleep or a nap refreshes temporarily, but deep-down rest for our hearts can be found only one place. In Jesus.

Life. It will wear us down, but Jesus lifts us up. Always. 

The key is to turn our thoughts and our hearts to Him instead of getting mired in the problem-of-the-moment.

He's the One who carries us through each day on His shoulders, who turns our mourning into dancing. 

(Jesus said) "I have said these things to you that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world."     John 16:33  ESV

If we keep our eyes on Him we can be at peace, even during the hard times--and our faces will show it.  

As that kindly lady in the store put it, "Whatever's going on with you, it's just life. Sometimes life is hard, but you can do hard, I know you can."

My friend, you can do hard, I know you can.

I wish you peace and joy in Jesus, today and every day, 

Lenore

How to put more joy in your marriage

Just as Rome wasn't built in a day or two, neither is a marriage.

Every marriage partner longs to have a happy marriage. But how?     

When my husband and I married we were crazy in love and we trusted God, so it seemed logical to expect that every day would be pure joy. After all, what more could it take? 

Then came babies. 

And bills.

And life.

It shouldn't have surprised us that we two opposite personality types experienced occasional times of strain.  

Yet, somehow they did.     

Blame it on those pesky dailies of life

We loved each other and our children dearly and yet ....

Over time the daily grind seemed to be grinding me down. Eventually I lapsed into "Dear Abby" wails:

• "We don't communicate. You never talk to me anymore."
• "You never listen to anything I say. You nod your head, but you tune me out."
• "We never go anywhere alone. We need a regular date night."

Etc. (Don't miss how often I said "never." Not true, of course.)

My agreeable husband would say, "Sure," and we'd try this idea and then that. For a day or a week or a month.

Then we would settle back into our old routine.

A graph of our marriage would have shown off-the-chart happiness highs, as well as low times of feeling distant. We knew real life gets in the way of living out an all-smiles romance movie life. All along we both knew our marriage was above-average good. 

Nevertheless, I couldn't help longing for a bit more, um, excitement. (Did I mention I'm a romantic?)

To be clear, I never wanted out of my marriage. I guess I just expected it to fill my every need.

Finding out it's not about me

I got my eyes opened in a women's Bible study group. We always began by sharing our needs and praying for each other, feeling safe because every week we all pledged to maintain confidentiality.

One day "Sue" tearfully voiced her heartache about struggles in her marriage. 

Then "Laura," an older woman, said, "Don't give up. I know from experience that God can make all things new. For years my husband and I had a solid, ho-hum marriage, but I wanted more. Over time God transformed our marriage." 

By then the room was so still we could hear our breathing.

"I always knew God could make our marriage better--if He chose--so every day I prayed. And prayed. And kept imploring God to change the man I married and make him the husband of my dreams.

"One day I heard the Lord's still, small voice within me asking, 'What about you?'

"All at once I felt tears running down my cheeks

"I can't say how, but right away I understood I had become way too self-absorbed. I fell into the habit of overlooking my husband's many good qualities and fastening only on what I needed. That day I confessed to God how I wasted months, even years, feeling sorry for myself. 

"Finally I prayed, 'Thank you, Lord, for my husband, who loves me. Please make me the wife he needs me to be.' 

"This became my daily prayer."

Laura went on, "When my husband came home from work he had a different wife. One who grabbed him and told him over and over how much she loved him.  

 "I didn't stop there. I made it a habit to tell him at least once a day that I appreciated him. Instead of griping I praised the good in him. It wasn't long before he responded by becoming more loving and thoughtful toward me, too. 

"It wasn't me, it was God at work in our marriage--and in me. 

"Now I can honestly say I have the marriage I always wanted and we've never been happier together."

Because one woman risked being honest and sharing her story of God's faithfulness, none of us left the same as we were when we came. In the weeks that followed other women told their stories of how God changed them--and their marriages. 

By no coincidence we were studying Matthew 7

The day when Laura opened up I drove home with verse 7 drumming in my mind:

(Jesus said) "Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?"

I couldn't hide from the truth: I had been living with a plank in my eye. 

That day I resolved to follow my friend's example and prayed that same prayer. 

I confess it felt scary, as if I would "lose" something, maybe become a doormat.

That never happened. Instead my husband's and my marriage relationship became richer and we grew closer. Deeper. Each of us knew the peace and confidence that grew out of being married to our best friend and supporter. 

It's all about loving your neighbor

Jesus said in Mark 12:30-31:

"Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength ... The second is this: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no commandment greater than these."  NIV

Remember, there's no closer "neighbor" than your spouse. 

Jesus also said in Luke 6:31: 

"Do to others as you would have them do to you."  NIV

That sounds simple, doesn't it? But it does not imply living our faith at home is easy.

How could it be? Our society is me-centered and so is our human nature. By contrast, marriage involves two, plus their children.

Christian living and loving means putting the other(s) first. The mystery in marriage is that this kind of love does not diminish oneself--or each other. Rather, it frees each one to blossom and grow stronger.  

Consider it the way to live, because it does indeed put more joy into our lives.

Let's do it, friends! 

Lenore

How to shed the fear that keeps crowding in

WATCH OUT! DISASTER IS COMING YOUR WAY!

Variations on that theme run through every talk show and every news report. Whether it's the latest COVID variant or inflation or the weather, it sounds like everything is bad and getting worse.  

Many of us might nod in agreement.

This keeps us running scared and feeling unsettled. We're living out the old  cliché, "Waiting for the other shoe to drop," because no one knows what comes next. 

Or perhaps what troubles you and wakes you with a racing heart has nothing to do with any headline news. It's way deeper, down to your core. Maybe you can't even remember when the haunting started.

This brings the question: Is it possible to maintain a calm center, no matter what comes?

That's our job as grownups, isn't it? Especially if we're Christians.

Sure, but how?

How do we ditch living in fear? Whatever our challenge, it's always wise to begin with the basics: principles that are true, no matter who we are or what the situation. 

• Be watchful, yes, but fearful, no
• Focus our attention on facts, not rumors, nor on the endless "what ifs" 
• Do our best to live healthy by eating right and getting plenty of sleep
• "Think health" instead of "thinking sick"
• Speak peace instead of fear, knowing each time we do we reinforce the peace within us    

These simple things make sense 365 days of any year and we have power to carry them out right where we are.

Yes, but ... that doesn't sound like enough

I know. When we're feeling shaky inside and can't get to sleep at night we want something tangible. Authoritative. Something we can hold onto.

The truth is, calm that won't quit never comes from "out there." A government official or an "expert" with a string of degrees or even our trusted long-time doctor saying, "Don't worry," only quiets fear for a few hours. 

That's because we know the truth: Like us, they're only human and they only know what they know ... so far.

We want more. We need more. 

So where does that leave us?

How do we shed this deep-down fear that weighs us down? 

The "more" we seek comes from within. Each of us constantly fills our minds and hearts with something--and we get to choose what it is. This dictates our day-by-day question:

Will we feed the fear or feed the peace?

It takes no effort to stoke uneasiness. All we have to do is look and listen.  

To nurture inner peace costs us something. I'm not talking yoga or meditation or any of those self-help relaxation practices. As useful as they may be, they don't fear-proof our hearts for long.  

(How do I know? Over the years I've tried several of those methods.)

Here's what I learned from dealing with my own "hard stuff"  

First I had to gather up all the tormenting "what ifs" and stuff them into a box in the attic of my mind. (Yes, they kept creeping out but if I persisted, gradually they stayed put. At least most of the time.)

All day, every day I need to remember who I am. I am loved by God, simply because I believe in Jesus as my Savior. Period. That's what the Bible calls "grace."

For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith--and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God--not by works, so that no one can boast.   Ephesians 2:8-9  NIV

Did I pray? Of course, and God always, always, always gave me strength and courage to face whatever came.

I drew courage from the Bible, too

For years I have underlined verses that touched my heart and spoke to my spirit. I also jotted down brief references on the blank pages at the back, in case I forget where they are. (These days I also have the Bible on my smartphone and often list my notes there.)  

Bible verses like these:

• The Lord will keep you from all harm--he will watch over your life; the Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.   Psalm 121:7  NIV
  
  
• When I am afraid, I will trust in you. In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid. ...   Psalm 56:3-4  NIV
  
  
• For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-control.   2 Timothy 1:7  NIV
  
  
• (The Lord said to Joshua)  "Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go."  Joshua 1:9  NIV
  
  
• (Jesus said)  "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid."   John 14:27  NIV

As time goes by you will discover verses to add to that list

Look for verses that touch your heart because they speak faith and reassurance. Keep them at the ready for whenever you feel fainthearted about your life or about the future.  

Let's be clear about one thing. We Christians do not remember and speak Bible verses as some sort of magic charm. Rather, those times when we quake in fear--whatever the reason(s)--such verses remind us who is really in charge and has the power to help us:

"For I am the LORD your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you."   Isaiah 41:13  NIV

He is speaking to you, my friend, and to me. In every occasion or dark corner of fear that comes upon us, now or in the future. We are not alone.

What more could we ask?

Thanking God with you,

Lenore