Never think "Nobody listens to me!"
That's not true. Even if you live alone, you listen to your words. Think of the constant stream of words in your mind. That sound track plays constantly in the background.
It's as if we have an inner critic--or an inner cheerleader--that never takes a break.
Most of us have no notion when that voice took up residence.
Some trace it back to one or more individuals along the way, probably someone we wanted desperately to please.
A parent. A teacher or boss. A friend, or so we thought until ...
Once we identify even just the beginning of that process it can help us understand ourselves--and others.
The lifelong influence of parents
A good friend grew up in poverty, but he went on to success in every area of his life. When asked how he managed that, "Jim" had a stock answer. "My mother always told me she knew I would do something great with my life.
"I didn't really believe her, but I figured she must know something about me that I didn't. So whenever a challenge cropped up I did the best I knew how to do and God blessed my hard work."
His mom's words--and her confidence--echoed in his mind all his days.
Because of her example he frequently spoke love and confidence to his wife and children. In the workplace Jim became known as "the spark plug" because he buoyed up those around him.
Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing. 1 Thessalonians 5:11 ESV
What about us?
Our words are power-packed, too. Do you doubt that? Just think back to the last time someone's thoughtless remark cut deep and you still can't forget it.
We've all done it, haven't we? Often we spew out our frustrations on whomever is handy. Our husband or our wife--or our children. Right away we wish we could take back our words, well aware that's not the way to nurture a relationship. Or a friendship.
Then there's gossip and "sharing" without the other person's permission. Loose lips have sunk many a relationship.
Set a guard over my mouth, LORD; keep watch over the door of my lips. Psalm 141:3 NIV
Make it a habit to be a people-booster
Call to mind the last time you expressed your confidence in someone. They may have said, "Yeah, sure," and turned away. Later on you noticed they stood just a bit taller and looked quietly pleased.
Why? Just ask yourself whether you'd prefer a pat on the back or a kick in the pants.
Let each of us please his neighbor for his good, to build him up. Romans 15:2 ESV
How do we want to be thought of?
You and I affect the present--and the future--of people we love because they care what we think.
Think how often you hear an adult--even an older adult--remark, "My mother--or my dad--always said ..."
Our children care, too, even when they seem not to. Even after they're grown and well into living their own lives.
It's the same in a marriage. We either build each other up or tear each other down. The choice is always before us.
Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them. Ephesians 4:29 LNT
We affect ourselves, too
It's not complicated. Start with the certainty that no one talks to you more than you do--every moment of every day. (Yes, this goes on even when we're not aware of it.)
If I fill my mind with what's wrong or what's missing in my life, I'm on my way to a lousy day.
If I get stuck on what I wish were there in the people in my life, I find all kinds of new "evidence" to prove my point.
On the other hand, if I set out to identify what's right and good and true in life or in people, that comes through, too.
So then let us pursue what makes for peace and for mutual upbuilding. Romans 14:19 ESV
We find what we look for
Have you ever wondered how professional photographers always manage to shoot scenic shots of pure blue skies and puffy white clouds?
It's because they use camera filters and other enhancements that enable them to screen out the smog and smoke and haze the rest of us see.
Similarly, our words and our thoughts become our "filters" and affect the way we--or others--view life.
That may sound overly simplistic, but it's a basic truth.
Similarly, all through our lives people we love and admire become "filters" which we factor in to our view of ourselves, either positively or negatively.
It's always our choice, whether our words will be kind and warm someone's heart and lift their spirits.
As usual, the Apostle Paul summed it up well:
Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing . . . Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. 1 Thessalonians 5:11; 16-18 ESV
Yes, yes, I know. None of us can live up to this standard, but wouldn't it make life better for ourselves and for those around us if we perhaps tackled one phrase of Paul's words at a time?
Wouldn't our words more likely bring smiles and encouragement as they live on in the memories of people we love?
And isn't that what we all want?
Still learning, too,
Lenore
