A WOMAN'S VIEW ~ Lenore Buth

One strategy to deal with the wail, "I am sooo bored!"

Every parent knows the tone of voice that goes along with that refrain.

It's about as thrilling as fingernails dragging across a blackboard. What to do?

Our quartet often gave moving performances that caused me either to stifle my laughter or--after awhile--wish for a quickie way to quiet the mob.

I had none, so out of desperation more than anything, I came up with a standard reply. "You're bored? Oh, that's too bad. Here's what you'll need to clean the bathroom sink(s.) Go make it shine!"

Or, "Here, this broom should be the right size for you to use as you sweep the porch and sidewalks."

Or, "I just heard the clothes dryer signal that the towels are dry. Please take the towels out of the dryer and fold them."

You get the idea. After a day or two of such suggestions nobody complained of being bored. 

I also discovered it boosts incentive to hold out the carrot of a reward when the chores are done. A trip to the park or ice cream treats can prove magical. Or try a family trip to your public library because kids still love being able to choose "their" books or whatever to bring home with them. 

Be sure they see you reading, too. Often.  

Creativity shines with enough free time

At our house we went for creativity more than toys and gadgets, so summer became a time when dreaming up concepts boomed. We always kept raw materials on hand like cardboard boxes of all sizes, assorted papers, crayons, colored pencils, markers, scraps of fabric, Mod Podge, glue, etc.

Trips to craft and discount stores and also yard sales yielded interesting cords and ribbon, pretty gift papers, paints, glitter, wooden boxes and frames, etc. 

Was it messy? Sure. After the first time I proclaimed that our kingdom had a new never-break-it rule. From then on NO doing anything until old newspapers or an old plastic tablecloth or something like that had been put down on the work surface. (Was I ready to help with this? You betcha.)

All this costs almost nothing, but it's a great way for kids to experiment and have fun together.  

Why bother, when cell phones and computers can keep kids occupied for hours?

Technology may be everywhere, but human nature--and kid nature--hasn't changed that much.

Creating still brings more satisfaction than consuming an endless stream of "stuff" on screens, some of it questionable. Besides, people still matter more than things. Don't your favorite family memories feature times when you did nothing much and just enjoyed being together?

This requires free time, which may require planning.

Scheduling each child for some activity every minute of every day eats up free time. Too much time watching TV, being on computers and cell phones does the same. We all need time to "just be."

That's why limiting time on phones and computers and enforcing time limits are important.  (Yes, this inconveniences Mom and Dad, too, because as you no doubt discovered early on, we have to live what we preach or nobody pays attention to our words.)

Note: This will not earn you the title of "Miss Popularity."

Remember who you are

God gave you these children and you are in charge.

Yes, it's a lot of responsibility, but it's also a privilege. You're helping shape the way these young human beings develop and grow.

Even if each child is a bona fide genius, you know better than they what counts most in getting them ready for life as well-rounded individuals. 

As radical as it sounds in our times, research has shown that sometimes sports and various "enrichment" activities are not what each child in your family--or you, for that matter--needs most. They've been created one of a kind, remember?

Give each family member--and yourself--a gift. Look for ways to nurture their individual talents and skills. 

Maybe what each family member needs most is some unprogrammed time to let down. At any age, reading a book or lying under a tree just for the sake of looking up at the sky is not "wasted time."

I promise you the world will not stop.

Being unscheduled is not the same as being bored

Summer offers a defined opportunity to try new things. Later you can decide what comes next. Or doesn't. Think of it as time to refuel and rediscover.

Both your children and you may be surprised to find that in the midst of "nothing happening," a lot of personal growth occurred--and none of you were bored.

For now, go with the rhythm of your days. Be quiet and rest. For right now, just be.

Better is a handful of quietness than two hands full of toil and a striving after wind.  Ecclesiastes 4:6  ESV

In quietness and in trust shall be your strength.   Isaiah 30:15  ESV 

Learning, too,

Lenore

How Every Mom Can Plant Seeds of Greatness (Dads, Too!)

If you're like me you probably read that title and thought, Yeah, sure. Easy for you to talk.  

That's because we remember all too well the many times we shushed our children or lost control and started yelling.

And that's just for starters. Our minds flood with memories of failing to be the kind of mother we once assumed we would be. Could be. Should be.

Once we had very clear pictures in our minds, didn't we, of the "perfect family" we would have? We assumed if we really, really wanted to be good moms and really, really tried, all the rest would follow naturally.

In no time at all we became wiser. 

Let's be honest here: Being a mom is hard. (So is being a good dad.)

Beforehand we thought, New babies are so adorable! Children are so enchanting!

And they are. Before becoming parents we could not imagine we could ever run out of patience.

Ever run out of love. 

But we do, sometimes. Almost. Like before our newborn finally, finally, starts sleeping all night. Or when our older child pushes all our buttons.

It is scary to admit how weak we are, even to ourselves. We pray for forgiveness, fearful God might punish us for even having such thoughts, however fleeting they may be.

Immediately we resolve to do better. To be more patient, more joyful. To only smile, every moment. No matter what.

Then in no time at all we fail again.  

If you have been there--or are there now--put your feet up and relax. You're among friends, so let's turn the corner in minds and remind ourselves what we're about.  

Recognize the influence you have

Abraham Lincoln said, "All that I am or ever hope to be I owe to my angel mother." 

Few of us expect to hear glowing tributes like that when our children reach adulthood, but certainly we want to help them grow as individuals and to strengthen the good qualities already implanted in them by their Creator. 

That's a noble goal, but how are we supposed to accomplish it?  

By now one thing I know for sure is that every one of us can rest in the assurance that we and our children are a perfect match for each other.

Think about it. God creates each child and He places us together because we are exactly right for each other--even on our worst days.

Parenting, you see, is a growing proposition. Our children grow up while we grow and stretch in understanding and as individuals.

Our task is to show love and speak love and ask God to enable us and guide us. Every moment of every day and every night.

The simple prayer of a mom or dad who longs to rear their children rightly touches the heart of God, even if all they can manage is, "Help me, Lord!"

Trust me, you won't sprout angel wings

You will disappoint yourself, over and over, but God is faithful, so just ask. Little by little you'll find your love and patience somehow expand. 

You'll develop courage, too, so you can stick to your family standards without apology, simply because you know they are right for your children and your family.

Where do you start? Here: 

"This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has not one than this, that someone lays down his life for his friends."  --John 15:12-13  ESV

That covers it all. Every day.

Is it easy? No

In so many ways moms and dads continually lay down their lives every day.

Children take over our lives. They take up what we used to call "free time." Occupy our thoughts, continually. Consume family income. And on and on.

Yet most parents would not trade even one child for all the gold in Dubai.

When we pray, God will enable us to live out love more selflessly. This transforms our days from the daily grind to the daily gladness.

Don't get me wrong. I did not cheer at the constant cooking and laundry and all the rest. I'm not sure anyone ever has.

But when we do what we do flows out of love, every day becomes worthwhile  That includes the day you have kids barfing upstairs and a puppy with the runs downstairs and then the dishwasher dies.

You stay because your purpose is more lasting than the quickie pleasure of escaping to Starbucks.

Now about those seeds of greatness ... 

President Lincoln grew up in a log cabin. He had none of what we label "advantages," except the one that matters most: He was loved and he knew it.

Jeff Oppenheimer, author, wrote a novel about Lincoln and his stepmother, That Nation Might Live. He put it this way:

“She (his stepmother, Sarah) recognized a boy of tremendous talent and saw the diamond when virtually everyone else around this gangly, awkward boy saw the rough. That's what mothers do.”

Her attitude toward her son cost Sarah nothing, but it changed Abraham Lincoln's life. When a mother or father look past the problems and "see the diamond" in their child it can't help but be a blessing.   

How do we do that? We strive to provide our kids with loving acceptance rather than lavish on exaggerated praise.

Offer your kids what counts most: Quiet confidence in who they are and what they can accomplish if they work for it, plus a solid reliance on God.

To know absolutely that their parents believe in them provides a solid base that allows children to become the individuals God created them to be.

It's never too late for a course correction

No matter how many birthdays our kids have celebrated they still want to hear our love and encouragement.  

If you doubt that, consider how it would warm your heart to hear one or both of your parents say to you, "Well done! I am so proud of you!"

Me, too. Always, it's as the Apostle Paul closed his beautiful 1 Corinthians 13:

So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.

Do we want to plant seeds of greatness in our children? Then let's remember to begin and end with love--and to ask our loving Heavenly Father to guide us and bless our efforts.

With love, 

Lenore  

Why what's being taught in our schools matters to ALL of us

Some of us assume what's being taught in the schools needn't concern us unless we have children still attending.

 

Are you sure?   

Today's schoolkids will be tomorrow's adults. Tomorrow's leaders in every community and in every level of government.   

What these children learn in school and adopt as their personal values today will determine how they will live--and lead--tomorrow.

That kid on the corner who "drives you crazy" today may grow up to be President tomorrow.  

(And you may still be around. Don't you take better care of your health hoping to live longer?)  

Politics and preferences aside, let's think it through 

I don't pretend to be an expert in any way and this piece can only skim the surface. Any misstatements or mistakes are unintentional. Because situations vary from place to place, I hope it you will research the facts in your local schools and communities. Only then will you know for yourself what the issues are where you live.

If you've wondered why curriculum and policy in public schools has drawn so much discussion and criticism of late, start with this. Some years ago educators and school boards decided students needed to be better equipped for modern society, which called for more than "the basics." Classes such as sex education, cultural studies and sensitivity training became standard, along with varying amounts of computer science, technical skills, etc.   

Choices had to be made because there's only so much time in a school day. Which subjects and practices would stay and which would need to be either shortened or eliminated? 

The goal was that students would be more balanced, better-equipped to live in today's world and also more sensitive to all races, religions and ethnic groups. These changes and innovations were meant to ease tensions and enable a more sensitive, peaceful society for all

This often led to revisions in school policy such as ruling that any teaching of morals, ethics or integrity were not to be taught or even alluded to in the classroom. This would avoid anything that traced back to Christianity or other mainstream religious thought. The aim was to avoid offending those with other views.

(This does not imply teachers themselves lack morals or integrity.)

Each of us needs to be informed so we can form our own thoughtful judgments

This requires us to find factual information for ourselves. Start by spending some time on your computer and reading a variety of material and opinion for yourself. 

Another "hot topic" in the news is The 1619 Project, but many of us remain hazy about the subject.

As usually presented, this Project dates the beginning of this Nation back to 1619. That's when the first European settlers set foot on these shores, bringing their African slaves with them. (Slavery was common practice in many parts of the world.) 

Obviously, this predates December 18, 1620, when the ship Mayflower anchored in the harbor at Plymouth Rock, Connecticut, bringing the Pilgrims. They left Europe in order to found a colony where they could worship God as they saw fit. 

A different view of the Revolutionary War

Proponents of The 1619 Project believe this War was fought not as a battle to win freedom from British control. Rather, the aim was to increase and preserve slavery in what later became the United States of America.

Already many schools are evaluating and/or changing over to this new view of history. Textbooks and curriculum materials likely will incorporate parts or all of this 1619 Project tenets. Some schools will do a complete switchover. Others will incorporate parts of it into what's taught.  

Some educators believe before long this new curriculum will supplant traditional teaching of U.S. history at most public schools.

A unique aspect of The 1619 Project  

This Project maintains the real reason white slave-owners chose to settle this land was to establish and expand slavery of blacks so as to build their individual wealth. 

This means people with white or lighter skin have enslaved and discriminated against people with darker skin from before the beginning of this Nation and that individuals of color were--and still are--oppressed. Those with white skin were oppressors--and that continues to this day.

Furthermore, proponents believe that skin color determines one's life. For life. They maintain it is vital to teach this thinking so that all students develop compassion.  

People who don't agree ask, "How can it be helpful to imprint the idea on school kids that the color of their skin determines what kind of life and what kind of future they can have? Ever? How is this not another form of racism?"

Take note of gender issues 

You probably know that in many public schools, "gender identity" now is considered more a matter of preference than of body parts. 

Personal pronouns count. Some schools outlaw the use of personal pronouns (i.e., he, she, his, hers) altogether, considering them "discriminatory." The approved substitution is "they," "them," and "their." (New textbooks may reflect this policy.)

Starting from Pre-K on up, teachers in some schools may ask students, "Which do you feel like today, a girl or a boy?" If the child's answer differs from the obvious, they will be asked what name they prefer to be called by today. During that day the child only answers to--and can only be called by--that name.  

Some schools allow students to dress according to their gender identity of the day. Some allow kids to use the restroom(s) and showers that match the gender the child has chosen for the day. (Note: In some public schools, restrooms and locker rooms may already be unisex.)

To know about your local school(s,) ask    

Any resident has the legal right to examine textbooks, teachers' lesson plans, etc., and whatever materials will be used in the classroom. Just go to the school and ask politely to examine the curriculum and teachers' lesson plans.  

You also have the right to courteously ask school authorities about current practice(s) in the schools your children attend.

Be sure to allot yourself ample time so you clearly understand your children's school(s) and policies in use at each one. Ask questions and take notes. Get to know your school board members and attend school board meetings, not to argue but to understand. In most school districts, Board members are the bottom line.   

Curriculum and school policy set the tone--and often the limits--for what teachers can say and what they can teach. Teachers and class studies influence the attitude of students over time. What kids and teens absorb today inevitably will have impact way beyond the classroom. 

All this means these issues need to matter to every one of us, with or without children.  

Changes in thinking happen little by little

Children learn attitudes in all kinds of ways. (So do we all.)  

It's not enough to rely for information on talking heads in the media. That very well may be opinion and not even close to the truth of your local schools.  

Local citizenry staying informed is essential because once a curriculum or a philosophy is adopted in a school or school system, it's hard to change. That's step one.

Step two is to speak our well-considered opinions, reasonably and calmly, when the subject comes up in everyday conversation. 

Don't forget to pray  

Only God knows how any of this will shake out in our society and what the future impact will be.

We are called to be faithful in how we raise our children and to be aware of current events, knowing that God always has the last word. 

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we can ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen. Ephesians 3:20-21  NIV

Let's pray HE will be in the midst of every discussion, every decision and every classroom.

And now may God, who gives us his peace, be with you all. Amen   Romans 15:33 NLT

Lenore

11 Reasons to Bring Your Kids to Church

Okay, I get it. Your mom made you go to church and you vowed you would never do that to your children.

Maybe it's time for a rethink. You may be cheating them--and yourself--by staying away.

How? Let's do a rundown:   

1. Where else can kids be surrounded by grownups of all ages who smile on them and love them even when they don't know their names?
   
   
2. Where else does a "holy terror" kid get loved, time after time, even when said HTK can't sit still, can't be quiet and won't stop pestering whoever sits next to him?
   
   
3. Where else do young children and adolescents interact with older adults--other than their parents--instead of just observing them from a distance?
   
   
4. Where else do youngsters carry on real conversations with adults--listening adults--who aren't relatives or friends of their parents? 
   
   
5. Where else in today's world do kids get a front row seat to watch and learn that it takes all kinds of people, each one playing their part, to keep things going?
   
   
6. Where else do children learn grownup songs and get to sing alongside adults? And where else would adults within hearing distance smile benevolently, even if a youngster sings off-key or messes up the words?
   
   
7. Where else can you feel you already know--before you've spent much time with them--many of the values of the people around you? 
   
   
8. Where else will the difference between right and wrong be so clearly reinforced to your kids?
   
   
9. Where else will they learn principles like "Love your neighbor as yourself," and "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you," and all the rest? (These truths sink deep and become a personal code far more reliable than moods of the moment.) 
   
   
10. Where else will your kids learn that Jesus came to set things right between God and us humans, that he lived and died and rose again so that all who believe can call him Friend.?
    
    
11. In what other setting--besides at home--will your children be reassured over and over again that Jesus loves them? Or that he watches over them and is with them every moment of every day and night?
    

It's not "Go to church and do your duty," but rather, "Why cheat yourself and your kids out of the blessing and joy?"

Every mom and dad soon learns that our words don't mean much to our children if they're just words. What really counts with a child is, "Does this really matter to Mom or Dad? Or is it just something I'm supposed to do?"

That is, bring them with you to church, rather than just drop them off for Sunday School and then pick them up afterward.

Being part of a family of faith reinforces what you as a family stand for. It's about support and encouragement--for both your children and you as their parents. 

Bringing your kids to church is not just so they can hear the pastor's sermon and/or the children's message or go to Sunday School. It's also so they naturally grow friendships with kids you more likely feel comfortable with.

If you're a mom or dad, your fellow churchgoers are like your backup team.

Think about it. A church family is just that: Family

You may live a thousand miles from relatives, but if you're part of a local body of believers, you're plunked right down in the middle of family.

Family related by faith, not blood, who will be there when you need them.

Folks who if they see you talking to a friend and spot your toddler running across the parking lot, will immediately race after your junior adventurer and deliver your little one safely back to you.

Individuals with whom it's safe to talk. People who will care that you're running on fumes and feeling overwhelmed. 

It only takes one to hug you and remind you, "Take heart, it's not the end of the story yet. God will get you through this. I know that's true and here's how. ..." 

It's been this way since Jesus started it

"A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another."  John 13:34-35

Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.   Galatians 6:2

Look for a church that's Jesus-centered and Bible-centered, where the pastor and people are real, that is, authentic.

Then go with an open mind and be as friendly as you would be if taking part in any kind of new activity. There's no better way to give your kids--and yourself--a solid base for living. No better setting in which to make new friends. Count on it as a place to grow.

• Why bring your kids to church? Because you love them.
  
  
• Why go to church? Because you love yourself.

Still growing,

Lenore

You can change your world with your words

Most of us know the saying, "If Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy."

When I first read those words on a gift shop plaque I didn't have to ask myself whether the saying was true.

All I had to do was remember. With regret.  

As a young mom, some days I got up in a bad mood--and spread it around. On those mornings, Mama, the Martyr, would prepare a healthy breakfast for her family--and serve it without a word.  

Mama didn't smile, so neither did anyone else.

Our otherwise bouncing, laughing young daughters would eat silently, then escape ASAP, whether to another room or to wait for the school bus. My sweet husband would gulp down his breakfast, then head for the door with a wave instead of grabbing me for a kiss as he usually did.

And I understood why.

Who could blame them?  

Their moods affected me, too, of course. As in every family, our four kids sometimes couldn't stand each other, resulting in a tiresome refrain of, "Mommy, make her leave me alone!" 

Do you think their whining lifted my spirits and made me a happy mama? Nope. 

Over time I figured out some major truths: 

Whatever the cause of my bad mood I didn't have the right to take it out on my husband and kids. Besides, that never changed anything for the better.

In any and every situation, our mindset determines how we feel--and how we act.

As Abraham Lincoln, the world-famous mental health professional, put it: "Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be." 

Always, our words can lift each other up or tear each other down 

That's true in parenting. True in a marriage. It's true on the job.

If our kids struggle they don't need our analysis of what's wrong. They need our love and encouragement and quiet listening.

When they slip up it's okay to gently stick to our family standards, along with talking over the whys of why we have them. Then comes the next lesson as we hand out appropriate penalties. 

Allowing our children some freedom to make choices--and also allowing them to live with the consequences of their choices--can be painful, but it grows maturity and confidence.

They grow stronger from within.  

What about teenagers?

Teenagers are on their bumpy way to adulthood. Yes, they need truth and common sense about how to handle life, but it's equally important that they hear us speak our faith and confidence in them as individuals.   

It's good to help them learn life skills by letting them cope. (They'll make mistakes.) They crave words like, "I know you can handle this challenge, because I know how strong and determined you are. I believe in you and so does God and we always, always love you, no matter what."

Sometimes teens seem so self-assured we think we as parents are irrelevant.

Not true! Every survey of teenagers says they want their parents' respect and value their parents' opinions more than any of their peers.

When we speak love we give them what they need most. If we doubt that's true, all we have to do is ask ourselves what we want and need.

Widen the circle

Let's not stop there. Our kind words can lift the hearts of people around us, too.

Picture the mom whose kids are acting up in the Food Court at your local mall, the one who looks frazzled and beat. What if you stopped and said to her, "You have a beautiful family. I can see in your eyes how much you love your children."  

What about the co-worker who seems depressed? What better opportunity to point out some instances when they helped you or someone else? Small kindnesses can make a difference in someone's day.

Or suppose you were chairing a women's event at your church. Someone spills punch all over the serving table. You keep smiling as you mop up the mess. Imagine if one woman told you, "Good job! I watched you calmly deal with the crisis moment and you really have a way with people."

Wouldn't you treasure her words?

Kind words are as sweet as cool water to parched lips--and they cost us nothing

If we put on eyes to see and mentally walk in someone else's shoes we'll know what they need to hear.  

The big surprise is that we get back what we give out. If by our words and actions we give out love and kindness, that's what we'll receive in return. It's never too late to begin, even if it feels forced at the beginning. 

This is not new theory. Solomon and the Apostle Paul wrote: 

Worry weighs us down; a cheerful word lifts us up . . . Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs.

                Proverbs 12:25 (The Message) and Ephesians 4:29  NIV

This is hardest to maintain within our marriages and families, because both are 24/7 and we have no place to hide.

When we blow it--and we will--we lay our failures at the cross of Jesus and begin again.

There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.    Romans 8:1  ESV

How can we change from within? Where do we start?

And exactly how does that work? I know no better answer than this:

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he [or she] is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.    2 Corinthians 5:17   ESV

When we trust in Jesus, we have a Helper who walks with us through every day and gives us strength to become the individuals who brighten the world we live in. Because our words lift up the people around us.

And isn't that who we want to be?

Blessings from one who learned to mind her mindset,

Lenore 

Ever wondered why our kids so often push us to the edge?

Let's face it. Some children simply refuse to give in--or give up.

A friend remarked, "My two brothers and I loved to scrap and we were always pestering each other.   

"My folks would let it go on as long as they could stand it, I guess. Then one of them would say, 'CUT THAT OUT!'

"That was my mom and dad's magic phrase. When we kids heard those three little words we knew we'd better stop or we'd be in a world of trouble.

"I know now it wasn't the specific words they used," he said. "It was their don't-push-it! tone of voice. That told us they were out of patience."

Most of us use way too many words

I remember doing exactly that, thinking it sounded more kind and loving and reasonable.  Now I know all it does is confuse and water down what we say. 

Dr. James Dobson, founder of Focus on the Family, once said every child is a 24-hour a day student of his or her parents. 

This careful study enables our children to know exactly how far they can go with each parent. They know which one is more likely to be swayed by pleading and which one needs all the facts--and time--before saying, "Yes."  

It's a bit shocking--but accurate--that we train our kids to know how far they can push us.  

Personalities play a part  

For some strong-willed youngsters it's as if their mission in life is to oppose whatever Mom or Dad say. 

Here's a word of comfort. These, um, "determined individuals" often grow into adolescents who are less susceptible to peer pressure and then become adults who love a challenge and don't wimp out.

I can hear you saying, "That's all well and good, but this being in charge role doesn't fit my personality and it's really hard for me. How do I get through today?"

Today remind yourself that every child secretly wants their parents to, well, act like parents. 

We moms and dads are meant to be in charge, because we are their security.

Knowing what their parents allow--and don't allow--makes youngsters feel safe and loved and cared for.

This includes your prizefighter strong-willed child who never gives in gracefully. 

We bless our children when we draw up boundaries

Boundaries, like fences, protect. Well thought-out rules tell our kids that we love them enough to keep them safe and secure.  

 Within those reliable limits our children can relax and run free. 

Will they keep testing to see whether we still mean it? You betcha. That's just part of being a kid.

That's why it's essential to be consistent. (This is any parent's biggest challenge.)  

If it was a No yesterday, it has to be a No today--or you'll be back at the beginning and starting over.

We don't need to act like dictators, nor yell.

Just remember that we are the grownups in the family and that's our job.

It's all about knowing who we are, then acting like we believe we possess the authority 

And we do. From God.

Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.  -Colossians 3:20 ESV

As loving caretakers of the children God gave us we are to protect them and guide them because it's for their good. Our job as parents is to get our children equipped and ready to move out into a life of their own one day. 

And we do it all with love.

Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassion, kindness, humility, meekness and patience, bearing with one another . . .    Colossians 3:12-13a

Parenting roles change over the years 

In the earlier years we must be watchful at all times, in every detail. From feeding and diapering, then chasing them as toddlers, we're all about tender care and protection. 

As our children get older we still keep a watchful eye, but our role gets more subtle, Little by little, we back off and stay more in the background so each child gains confidence that they can handle whatever they're trying to do.

All along we remain their protectors, their defenders, their life coaches and sometimes, yes, The Enforcers.

Be sure of this: Even teenagers know they're not ready to be on their own, although they will argue the point over and over and over. Most of the time they avoid saying they need us and feel safer because we're watching our for them.

Nevertheless, it's worth repeating: Our kids push us to the edge because they want us to be who God asks us to be.

Wherever we are in this equation, we are not alone

Being a parent and watching our children grow into themselves is deep-down satisfying. I believe it's the most important thing we could ever do because we are raising human beings.

But parenting is never a picnic. It isn't meant to be. Raising our children is it's a growth-and-development project for us as individuals, too. Being a parent changes us, makes us wiser and stronger and more understanding of human nature.

(Is it any wonder that we Christian parents so often feel inadequate and frequently ask Jesus to guide us and help us?)

Over the years when I've felt weak and insecure, I've gone back again and again to Ephesians 3:20:

Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen.  ESV  

It's safe to say that applies to being a mom or a dad, too.

Here's to being who God made you to be--and enjoying it! 

I'm praying for you,

Lenore