A WOMAN'S VIEW ~ Lenore Buth

Best of Times or Worst of Times? It's Your Call

Every one of us may answer that differently but still, we would prefer our lives to run along smoothly. 

Please raise your hand if that describes your life. Hmm.

Okay then, let's consider the question from a different angle. Did you ever consider what your tough times taught you? Or watch that play out for someone else? 

I learned a big life lesson from our long-ago friend Bill. He and his wife were part of a small group of friends who got together every couple of weeks. We often talked about our lives, our problems and how we as Christians could deal with them. 

Whatever the situation, Bill's opinion seldom wavered. He believed the trials that test our will and our strength created a situation where our faith could shine through. 

Plain-spoken Bill always managed to insert his favorite truth:

"When the rubber meets the road, what's inside us will show up."

Then a huge pothole opened up in front of Bill     

When our group met that week Bill seemed distracted. Finally he said, "This has been one tough week and I'm glad it's over!" 

Then Bill spelled it out for us:   

As a building contractor, he had survived more than one economic challenge by barely hanging on. Then demand picked up, so he hired a few sub-contractors. Two of them never showed up and the third guy did shoddy work.  

Then building materials were delivered to his warehouse and on inspection turned out to be sub-standard. 

In one of his buildings careless renters set their apartment on fire, which spread to adjoining units in another building he managed.

"All this in one week?" I asked.

"Yeah. Problems are nothing new, but usually I have some breathing space."  

Somebody asked how he managed to keep going and keep on trusting, even when it seemed everything had turned sour.

Bill thought a bit, then said, "Guess I have enough smarts to learn from life and trust God to get me through."

Then the rubber hit Bill's road, big time 

His doctor delivered a shock. Results of recent tests showed that Bill's "little problem" was a life-threatening health crisis.

He sought out the best medical treatment he could afford. Extensive surgery and arduous treatments followed, but Bill followed instructions precisely. He and his wife came to church as often as he was able, Bill walking slowly and leaning on a cane. His face looked pale and drawn, but still he smiled. 

Still spoke faith and encouragement to the rest of us. 

Again and again my husband and I watched this one man lift the spirits of everyone who glimpsed him or who was within range of his voice. 

"Hey, it's just life," Bill would say. "God is in charge and I am at peace. I'm keeping my eyes on Him. However He works it out, I win." 

That's true for the rest of us, too

We moved several months later but the last I heard, Bill had recovered his health and energy.

I think of him when I read again what the Apostle Paul wrote in Philippians 4:11-13:

 ... I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty.

I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.

I can do all this through him who gives me strength. NIV

Paul's "circumstances" were no slice of angel food cake. Just read 2 Corinthians 11:16-33 to read of Paul's floggings, beatings, imprisonments, shipwrecks and being left for dead many times.

Was that how Paul learned to be content?

Surely Paul must have had times of feeling alone and abandoned

That's when he clung to Jesus, as he wrote in 2 Corinthians 4:7-10:

But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us.

We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair, persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.

We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body.   NIV

Are you wondering about the "jars of clay?" Paul knew Scripture backwards and forwards and was referring to Genesis 2.

That's where God created the first human being (Adam) out of the dust of the earth, remember?

Our friend Bill lived the truth of Paul's words

Even on his worst days, this down-to-earth guy presented a ready smile to the world. We Christian friends knew what kept Bill going. He drew on the light of Jesus and the strength of Jesus within him.   

Like the Apostle Paul, Bill kept his eyes on Jesus rather than on himself and what was going on in his life. When he slipped up--and he did, of course, being human--he went back to what he believed, asked God's help and began again.

With evidently no self-pride or aim to impress, Bill simply lived his life as a man who depended on Jesus living within him to get him through his days.

You know that saying that we believers are to be "little Christs" in the world we live in?  

Bill just being Bill lived out that truth and everyone around him wanted what he had.

He believed the truth of Ephesians 2:10 every day

It's all ours for the taking, if we, like Bill, keep our eyes on the One who promises to enable us and be our strength:

My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak, but God remains the strength of my heart; he is mine forever.    Psalm 73:26  NLT

He depended on God and His power, not on his own--and said so. He left everyone who knew him an unforgettable model for living. 

Simply said, Bill chose to have the best of times--even in his worst of times. 

I pray your life is good, my friend, and your heart is at peace,

Lenore

Find peace when you're feeling overwhelmed

What to do when life knocks you around and you're reeling? When doubts fill your mind and you want to quit?

It can happen to any of us at any time. We reach our limits. Of patience. Or money. Or hope.

"I don't know what's wrong with me," we may say to a friend. 

Or to ourselves. Or God.

Our life may be good, at least from the outside, but disquiet nibbles away at our hearts.  

That's a lonely place to be.

Sometimes we also feel distant from God. We can't seem to pray or feel connected to the Lord we love, whom we know loves us.

Then we have two choices: Wrap ourselves up in our frustration and fretting--OR change the way we look at our life.

I hear you saying, "Talk is cheap. You don't know how hard it is for me!"

No, I don't. But I know how hard it is for me to climb out anytime I let myself get mired in that pit. Then I have to relearn this basic lesson of life:

In every situation, we choose how we think.

Call a halt

By now I easily spot the red flag thinking that leads me into risky territory. It comes sounding harmless enough, just random phrases that stoke my fears or my pride, words like these:

What if ____ ?

Why doesn't he--or she-- ____ ?

Why must I always ____ ?

How long must I put up with this? 

Where is God in all this?

Thoughts or words like this pull us down as surely as gravity makes the apple drop.

Finally, I know what helps. I've learned to catch myself and say, "Stop!"  

How does this work? 

Here's a listen to my (now) typical self-talk:  

Q: What if?   A: Why spend my time and energy worrying about  something that may or may not happen?  If or when something happens, deal with it then. 

Q: Why don't they care?   A: Maybe they do. Each individual may be speaking and acting in ways that feel right to them.

Q: Why must I always ___?   A: Stop with the "poor me" stuff. Is it really always? Think of times this other person gave in or came through, even when it cost them. Did I discount that simply because they didn't react as I would?  

Q: How long must I put up with this?   A: Am I really the only one "putting up with this"? Or does it work both ways? What's a mutually fair way to handle the situation? 

Q: Where is God in all this?   A: He's right here with me, always, keeping me alive and safe from day-to-day. Even those times I feel far from him, I can know that in Jesus Christ I am forgiven for all my mistakes and failures and I have eternal life.

Even if I'm the only one who hears it, restating the situation in a more balanced way calms me and helps me think straight. 

Fill your mental reservoir with the Good Stuff

I freely admit it took years of reading and praying--and trying and failing--before this finally became my way of thinking. I know now to make my mind switch over to what lifts my heart and eases the tension in my shoulders.

Many people advise using positive affirmations, but that doesn't do it for me. I've tried repeating phrases like, "I am at peace with the world," or "I am calm in every circumstance." 

Before long my inner nag taunts me with, "Oh yeah?"

Real peace comes when we connect with the Source:  

"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.   John 14:27

Other Bible verses to lift us up   

When we feel swamped, it helps to repeat truths like these:

God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear ...    --Psalm 46:1a

I am the LORD, the God of all mankind. Is anything too hard for me?   --Jeremiah 32:27

Cast all your anxiety upon him, because he cares for you. --1 Peter 5:7

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. --Philippians 4:13 

Put the Good Stuff in and gradually you'll feel the heaviness in your spirit melting away.

Even if everything about your life situation stays the same, you will be changed. And trust me, that makes all the difference.

Still learning,

Lenore

How every day of our lives is our own "miracle on the Hudson"

Sometimes a look back helps us take courage for today, especially when it reminds us that God watches over us, too. Here's one to lift your spirits.

On a cold winter morning, January 15, 2009, US Airways Flight 1549 took off from LaGuardia Airport.

Almost immediately the plane hit a large flock of geese, which disabled both engines. Pilots and everyone watching knew they had only minutes to find a place to land.     

Only one possibility existed, the frigid Hudson River.

Every watcher agreed the crew and all 155 passengers would surely die, either inside the sinking plane, or by drowning or hypothermia. Rescuers simply could not reach them in time.

Yet every person on the plane made it out and lived.   

Reporters breathlessly recounted what they called "the miracle on the Hudson." The name stuck.

Survivors never doubted the truth of that catchy slogan. No "expert" could explain what kept that plane afloat long enough for the rescue. 

The same two loving, powerful hands hold us

Rex Babin's cartoon in The Sacramento Bee illustrates a great truth for every believer.

The eternal God is your refuge and underneath are the everlasting arms.  Deuteronomy 33:27

The Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.    Psalm 121:8

Day after day our Heavenly Father watches over us--and our loved ones--with the same tender care depicted in this cartoon.

By faith we know that's true.

On good days it's easier to feel the warmth of his smile and His love for us.  

But when the bottom drops out of our world 

We may forget and take our eyes off Jesus when trouble comes.   

These are extraordinary times. It's as if we've been dropped into this Covid-19 pandemic and we're wondering how we got here. We want to gather with those we love and hug them close, but we're not supposed to leave our homes.  

"Social distancing" leaves us without the human closeness that helps reassure us.

Instead we have tragedy and fear and scary numbers, over and over and over. And we can't help wondering, will our family members survive? Will we? 

What will happen afterward--and what will life look like then?

No one can say and we quake within, wondering. But our loving Father says,

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.  Isaiah 41:1

Our call is to keep trusting, whatever comes. 

Counter fear with Truth 

It helps to take time reading God's written word, the Bible, and plant his truths in our minds and hearts.

Repeating verses aloud can help us get through whatever comes. Remembering them when we wake with a racing heart helps quiet our anxiety.

You probably have your own favorites. Here are some of mine, all NIV unless noted.

Cast all your anxiety upon him, because he cares for you.                                                                                   1 Peter 5:7

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." 2 Corinthians 12:9

The LORD gives strength to his people; the LORD blesses his people with peace.  Psalm 29:11

You will keep him in perfect peace, Whose mind is stayed on You, Because he trusts in You.  Isaiah 26:3  NKJV

The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.   Lamentations 3:22-23

Our loving Father holds each of us safe and secure. And because of Jesus, he looks at us with love.

Yes, that goes beyond our human understanding--and it's meant to, for He is Almighty God and we are only human.

Today and every day, may you know His peace.  

Lenore 

Verse Concepts

The LORD'S lovingkindnesses indeed never cease, For His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness.

- See more at: http://bible.knowing-jesus.com/topics/God,-Faithfulness-Of#sthash.mZBd0t36.dpuf

Lamentations 3:22-23

Verse Concepts

The LORD'S lovingkindnesses indeed never cease, For His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness.

- See more at: http://bible.knowing-jesus.com/topics/God,-Faithfulness-Of#sthash.mZBd0t36.dpL

Take heart, Mom. You are your child's biggest "advantage" in life

Have you ever doubted your ability to give your children what they need? 

Most of us have. Then it's good to remind ourselves about individuals who overcame big challenges and reared solid families.

My favorite example is Sonya Carson. I've admired her ever since her younger son, Ben--yes, that Ben Carson--held our convention audience spellbound as he told of his growing-up years. 

Sonya coped with challenges most of us can't imagine. 

• She only completed Grade 3 in school
• At age 13 she married 28 year-old Robert Carson
• They moved to Detroit after he finished his U.S. Army service
• Son Curtis arrived when Sonya was 20 and Ben, two years later 
• Five years later she discovered her husband "forgot" to mention his other (first) wife and children--and still supported them
• Within two years Sonya and Robert separated, then she divorced him
• She and the boys moved in with relatives in Boston
• Two years later the Sonya and her boys moved back to Detroit and into subsidized housing

Sonya was determined to provide for her family

She took whatever honest low-skills, low-pay jobs she could find, working two or three at a time. She left before dawn and came home late, often finding her sons asleep in front of the television set. 

Each day the boys got themselves up, then walked along the railroad track to school. Classmates called fifth-grader Ben the dumbest kid in class and made jokes about him. 

Almost every Sunday the trio attended their church at least once.

One day he brought home a report card that changed his life 

His mother was not happy. "You're a smart boy, Bennie! I know you can do better! If you keep up like this, you'll end up sweeping floors or on skid row. That's not the kind of life I want for you--and neither does God."

Sonya turned to God, whom she calls her friend and partner, and asked for wisdom.

A day or so later she announced new rules and pledged her sons to honor them.

• Come home home immediately after school
• No playing outside until after homework is done
• Be inside the apartment by sunset, with doors locked; Halls and public areas are dangerous
• Only two TV programs per week--after homework
• Each week read two books from the neighborhood public library and write a book report
• Mother will critique each book report 

The boys complained and friends criticized, but nothing swayed Sonya

She told them, "I know you boys have good minds. If you can read, you can learn just about anything you want to know. The doors of the world are open to people who can read."  

Before long the friendly public librarians knew both boys well. Each week Sonya Carson carefully read their book reports, asking questions and offering encouragement. (For years it didn't occur to her sons she might not understand every word she read.)

First Bennie read his way through the section on animals and then tackled books about rocks. The crushed rocks along the track now fascinated him. By the middle of his sixth grade, Benjamin led his class.

Ben's biggest challenge

All along Ben struggled with his violent temper, which led to frequent confrontations with classmates. The turning point came when he was 14 and stabbed a friend. Only that boy's heavy metal belt buckle saved his life.

Ben ran home and locked himself in the bathroom with his Bible. He stayed there for hours, asking God to help him deal with his temper. He found many verses about anger in the Book of Proverbs. Proverbs 16:32 pierced his heart:

"Better a patient man than a warrior, a man who controls his temper than one who takes a city." 

Ben vowed that with God's help, he would control his anger, rather than let his anger control him. After that his temper no longer troubled him.

Sonya's plan pays big dividends

From then on Ben poured himself into his studies, graduated high school, entered Yale in 1969, then went on to medical school. (Older brother Curtis, became an engineer and designed airplane parts.) At age 33, Benjamin Solomon Carson, M.D., became the director of pediatric neurosurgery at Johns Hopkins. He pioneered in separating co-joined (Siamese) twins. 

A committed Christian, he still reads from the Book of Proverbs, morning and evening.

Like Mother, like son

Ben discounts the lifetime effect of poverty and racial prejudice.

"The person who has the most to do with who you are and what you become is you." 

"My mother used to say, 'If you walk into an auditorium full of racist, bigoted people ... you don't have a problem, they have a problem ...'

His philosophy probably stems from from Sonya Carson's frequent admonition to her sons: 

"You do your best and God will do the rest."

She lived that principle herself. "My job was to prepare them. And I turned to God for help every inch of the way."

You are equipped to rear your kids

You'll have days you feel life is too hard or think you lack what it takes. If money is tight, you may fear you're shortchanging your children. 

Then call Sonya Carson and her courage to mind. Think of the rich gifts she gave her sons in that dismal setting! She spoke courage when she didn't know how she'd get through the week. She set limits for her children, always speaking faith and confidence. They grew strong from within--and so did she. 

Not once did she walk alone. Neither do you, if, like Sonya, God is your friend and your partner.

Blessings,

Lenore        

Are heroes born or made? You decide

"Ordinary" people who perform heroically usually amaze the rest of us, especially when they seem unimpressed with themselves. 

Here's one you won't forget. Meet Nico Calabria, age 20, a standout in every way.  

Photo by Carl Calabria

After Nico's birth doctors told his parents their son would never lead a normal life. 

Could never lead a normal life.

Yet at Concord-Carlisle (MA) High School he played on the varsity soccer team and the varsity wrestling team. 

As a 19-year old he was one of five amateur football (soccer) players featured in Powerade's 2014 FIFA World Cup ad campaign.

Even earlier, at age 13, he climbed Mount Kilimanjaro, the 19,341 ft. peak, set a world record and, by the way, raised $100,000 to provide free wheelchairs to needy people in Tanzania.       

He did it all on crutches.

Nico was born without a right hip or leg.  

His fascination with soccer balls started early

He first picked one up and played with it as a toddler. An unlikely toy? Sure, but his parents never discouraged him and Nico never viewed his disability as an excuse not to try. 

As he told interviewer Mihaela Husar of "Impresive" magazine, "It was hard sometimes, but my family always had a 'no excuse, tough love mentality' when it came to overcoming challenges."

That's easy to say, hard to carry out for any mom or dad, but especially when their child has a disability.

We get a glimpse of Nico growing up

The ad agency hired by PowerAde sports drink produced this heartwarming video about Nico's life when he was chosen to be a member of Team USA of the American Amputee Soccer Association which in 2014 competed in the World Cup. 

YouTube picked it up and it immediately went viral.  

 

For Nico it's all about doing what he loves

Nico tells his "Impresive" interviewer some people think he's trying to make a statement by playing soccer with able-bodied people. Not true. He says he never gave up because, "I just love playing soccer."

It helps that he has no hangups about what he can or cannot do.

"I look at disabilities as 'differences in ability.' There's an important distinction. The definition of 'disabled' is basically a long list of synonyms that don't describe me...like 'crippled' and 'weak'."

PowerAde's global communication manager says Nico redefines our outlook on challenges.  "Having one leg was his reality, so he chose to view it as an asset rather than a hindrance. ... That's what we loved about him."

Here's life according to Nico at age 18: "I've got one leg. You get one life. I'm not going to let the hand I was dealt in life dictate what my life is going to be."

What holds the rest of us back?

It took me way too long to understand the basic, obvious fact that everything hinges on how we think and what we think. 

Whatever the circumstances of our life may be, what we think is most important.

That's just as true for you and me as it is for Nico Calabria.

I need to keep reminding myself of that truth, so I collect quotes. Here are some favorites. Each one has at times been on a sticky note on my bathroom mirror or tacked to the bulletin board above my computer. 

• Life is 10 percent what you make it and 90 percent how you take it.  --Irving Berlin
  
  
• Whether you think you can, or you think you can't, you're right.  --Henry Ford
  
  
• Never, never, never give up!  --Winston Churchill

The bottom line for us as Christians

You and I face different challenges, but each one of us has difficulties to overcome. How we look at our lives makes all the difference.

For as he thinks in his heart, so is he.  --Proverbs 23:7  NLT

For God gave us a spirit not of fear, but of power and love and self-control. --2 Tim. 1:7  ESV

We know we're not alone. For us, it's God who gives us the right spirit and supplies what we need to live the life He has given us.

That certainty will carry us through each day, each challenge. Count on it.

Still learning,

Lenore

 

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Look what can happen if we stamp out two words: " I can't"

This is a story about overcoming BIG obstacles.      

This little charmer was born in 1987, to a mother and father who walked away from the hospital and left her behind.

Permanently.

Enter Sharon and Gerald Bricker, two "ordinary" people who live in tiny Hardinville, IL.

They already had three sons, but Sharon always yearned for a daughter. She told a reporter, "I prayed, 'God give me a little girl that needs a family as bad as I need a little girl.'" 

He did.

When the couple learned this 3-month old baby girl was available for adoption they were ready to jump at the chance.

There was just one little thing: She was born without legs. 

No matter, they decided. The Brickers quickly applied to adopt, signed all the paperwork, took her home and named her Jennifer.

These two knew from the beginning that their new daughter would require all the love they could give her. 

Meet Jennifer Bricker today, champion acrobat and aerialist 

She and her parents tell their story on an unforgettable YouTube, titled: "Never say can't."   www.youtube.com/watch?v=ho9M6r5RF4A

I've watched it several times and one word comes through to me: Courage.

Courage for Jennifer, of course, but also for Sharon and Gerald, all the way through.

They come across as two good people, solid and strong, who stepped out in faith.

These two non-experts simply loved their child and believed in her. Because of Sharon's earlier remarks, it's safe to say they prayed, probably every minute of every day.

I consider these parents as amazing as their daughter. 

In the Bricker family, the same rule applied to everyone

Jennifer traces her attitude to the one simple rule her parents gave her:  "Never say 'can't.'"

She remembers them telling her again and again, "'Can't' is not part of your vocabulary. If you just put your mind to it, you can do it."

"If you're never given limits," she says, "then you think, 'I can do anything!'"

So this little "handicapped" girl decided she could be a tumbler, a gymnast and nothing would stop her. 

Finding courage to go on

When I imagine Sharon and Gerald Bricker's life. I think how easy and loving and "right" it would have seemed to tell their daughter, "Honey, I'm sorry. You can't be a tumbler because you have no legs . . . You can't play basketball because without legs you couldn't be fast enough . . . You can't play baseball because how could you run the bases?"

And all their friends and neighbors would have said, "You did the right thing. It's a shame, but in her situation how could little Jennifer even think such a thing?"

It took courage to let their daughter try and keep on trying and experience the disappointment and pain until she mastered the skills.

Suppose we, too, adopted "Never say can't" as our motto

What if we removed "can't" from our vocabulary? Or refused to allow it as an excuse within our family?

It sounds almost counter-cultural, doesn't it? 

Whatever age we are, it takes courage to murder the word, "can't," and push ourselves to grow stronger and to persevere when it's hard.

Maybe it sounds too simple, but as Christians we know where to find strength and courage to go on. Here are a couple of verses that remind us we are never alone: 

Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.  --Isaiah 41:10

I can do all things through him who strengthens me. --Philippians 4:13 

Still learning, too,

Lenore

Note: Because Jennifer Bricker was interviewed on "Family Life Today" on July 15, 2015, it seemed worthwhile to re-post this. She makes us believe we can handle anything, doesn't she?

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