A WOMAN'S VIEW ~ Lenore Buth

Keep Your Eyes Open Or You Might Miss What Matters Most

Some often-told stories speak to every one of us. Like this one:

Picture the new teacher who comes into a new classroom. Truth is, even veteran teachers each year come into the unknown. Each one faces a sea of eager (or bored) students, mostly strangers to them. 

Suppose the new teacher, for whatever reason, believes students assigned to his or her classroom are super-bright. What a privilege it will be to teach these high-achievers and give them the kind of instruction they deserve! 

Those kids respond and blossom and turn in exceptionally good work. Teacher is happy and students are happy.

Peace reigns, day after day. 

Near the end of the school year this teacher discovers the truth 

These kids were not "gifted." Just the opposite. Everyone from the principal on down considered them to be chronic behavior problems. "Somehow" they all ended up with the new teacher.  

Long-time teachers secretly rejoiced that somebody else got stuck with these "troubled learners." They knew how these kids struggled in class and got sent to the principal's office on a regular basis. Every teacher and faculty member who tried to help ended up frustrated. None would admit it out loud, but these kids simply were being moved on through the system.

Small wonder the old guard laughed when the newbie teacher treated these youngsters as if they were high-achievers. After awhile they stopped being amused. Wonder of wonders, those "loser" students began to live up to their teacher's expectations--and then some.

In real life it never works out this neatly, of course.

But what if it could? What if it did?

Perhaps we need to take a fresh look at the people in our lives. Our spouses. Our children. Our friends and extended families. The people we work with and interact with in our everyday activities.

Have we fitted them neatly into a box because we "know" their capabilities or lack of same?

Have we given them labels based on the past instead of on who they are today?

It's disturbingly easy to get stuck in what they--and we--used to be. It helps to pretend you've just met and ask yourself, "Who is this person?"

You may be surprised at what you find.

Sometimes we do the same thing with ourselves

Every now and then it's good to ask ourselves, Who am I today?  

If that sounds like a strange thing to do, just pause and think how often you say, "I never," or, "I always."

Maybe that phrase once was true, but is it an accurate description today?

Probably more than we realize, what we expect is what will happen, over and over--with others and with ourselves.

We all know the saying, "What you see is what you get."

The truth of those words apply in so many areas of living, especially in our relationships. People tend to live up to our expectations. So do you and I in our self-appraisal of who we are and what we can do. 

The Apostle Paul tells us how to get a new outlook on ourselves and on other people--in 2 Corinthians 5:17 and in Ephesians 4:32:

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here! 

Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God has forgiven you.

That's the Good News of the Christian faith if we put our trust in Jesus Christ as our Savior. That's true no matter how many times we failed. It's not about how great we are or all we've been able to accomplish. HE is the one who makes us new. All we need to do is believe this is true.

Our outlook on other people changes, too. We're able to stop thinking they should live up to how we view them. Because of these same promises we can let go of old hurts and expectations. 

As usual, it starts with the eyes of our heart and how we choose to see others and ourselves. Here's to looking--and seeing--with new eyes.

Still learning, too,

Lenore

Can We Give Thanks Even When Life Is Hard?

It's that time again. Time to think and to thank

Time to count up all the reasons we have to be thankful.

Even now. Even though. Even if our personal story is full of pain.  

Like one young man I read about. I only have a few sentences of fact about his brief encounter with a friend, but here's how I imagine it have gone.  

"Joel" suffered a freak accident that shattered his life in an instant. This once-strapping young man became a paraplegic for life. 

When his best friend since childhood, "Kev," saw him for the first time he tried not to stare as he took in the finality of his buddy's situation. Joel would never walk again. 

Then Kev heard himself blurt, "Isn't it strange how one day can color a whole life?" 

"Yeah," Joel said and nodded. A moment later he flashed his old smile and said, "But I thank God that I still get to choose the colors."

So do you and I. Thanks-living is a matter of the mind and heart. Our every-day attitude.

Once we plug in that perspective it changes our view of life. And us. We stop bemoaning what's missing and start being glad for what is.  

It helps to think about that original Thanksgiving   

Start with The Mayflower. Forget modern ocean liners. This merchant ship measured only 64 feet long, about the distance from a baseball pitcher's mound to home plate. It traversed the Atlantic at a sizzling two miles an hour.  

Those 102 Pilgrims were packed into the cargo hold, an area about half the size of a basketball court. Ceilings measured less than five feet high. Their group included 18 married couples and their children. Two wives were pregnant and one delivered her baby during the voyage.

For 66 days and nights they endured limited space, little privacy, poor ventilation and scanty meals because they feared running out of food..

At last, on November 11, 1620, the captain spotted Cape Cod and dropped anchor offshore in the New World.  

No inns with warm rooms and cushy beds awaited them

They had only The Mayflower to provide shelter from the endless unknown that stretched before them when they looked toward land. Fear stalked them but they dare not give in. 

Because The Mayflower would sail back to England in spring, the men had no choice but to row to shore every day, whatever the weather. There they worked together to build basic shelter for their group, as well as for the chickens and pigs they brought with them.   

They dug graves, too. Lots of them. By that first Thanksgiving only 50 of the 102 Pilgrims who left England remained alive. Only three of the 18 married couples still had both spouses.  

Let that sink in. Imagine their heavy hearts as the survivors gathered to  celebrated their first harvest. They resolved to set aside their grief and together, thank God, the Giver. 

He gives strength to the weary, and to him who lacks might, He increases power.  Isaiah 40:29

Do we have what it takes to do the same?

Not one of us has or will have a perfect life. You and I, too, survive because God enables us to keep breathing and gives strength for each day.

Let's be on the alert for the good in life and be ready to acknowledge it. In people. In family members. It's always there, even in hard times. 

In every situation we still get to choose our outlook and to speak the good word. No eloquence required, just the doing.

Therefore, encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.  1 Thessalonians 5:11  

Let's share our lessons learned

Some of us never speak of our mistakes, as if we've skated along through life with never a rough spot. This may protect our egos, but it cheats our children and grandchildren.

We can bless them by gently telling stories about our ups and downs and lessons learned--and how God brought us through. Were there times we "feasted" on Spam because we couldn't afford turkey? Pass on such tales, if only to show it's possible to rejoice and to laugh, even when life's not perfect.  

Most importantly, as we share our stories, let's point to the Giver. 

Oh give thanks to the Lord, for he is good, for his steadfast love endures forever!   Psalm 107:1

When we thank God it reminds us we're not alone--and we never were

Neither were the Pilgrims. Like us, they anguished over their pain and their losses, but they didn't camp there. They chose instead to focus on God's faithfulness through it all. 

Can't we do the same?

Start with "ordinary" things like the myriad colors in trees and plants and flowers. We take all that for granted, but what if our Creator had colored all of Nature in shades of grey?

For each of us, if we truly take in what we see around us we'll understand why we can be thankful and can praise God.

Even when life disappoints us and sadness won't lift. Even when time drags on and we can't see an end to the waiting. Even then. 

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.  John 3:16

Therefore, as you received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in him, rooted and built up in him and established in the faith, just as you were taught, abounding in thanksgiving.  Colossians 2:6-7 

Every day, let's hone in on the joy of what is, rather than to waste time yearning for "perfect."

And let's remember that you and I "choose the colors" of our lives, too, every single day.

Thanking God for you, dear unseen friend!

Lenore

Can we still speak hope when the unthinkable happens?

When a large part of our inner sense of security crumbles--as it did after 9/11, what are we to do? 

Or when a family or relationship problem shakes our personal world to the core?

How do we cope? What do we tell our kids?

We may feel a gaping emptiness inside and long for comfort for ourselves, but feel we have nowhere to turn.    

Even in the day-to-day of life we may have people we care about who regularly (and more so in a crisis) look to us for reassurance and for clues on how to deal with life. 

All the while we may be thinking, I have nothing left to give.  

That's when we do what moms and wives--and dads and husbands--have done since the beginning of time. We give anyway. 

We take our thoughts off what was lost and focus on what is left.

Although we feel drained dry, still we can speak the hope that comes from beyond ourselves. Hope that's based on more than what we see and think and feel. Based on faith in God and the deep-down conviction that when we trust in Jesus as our Savior, "hope" becomes 100 percent guaranteed certainty.

That's because it rests in the One who promised to be with us, no matter what, no matter where and to be our strength, even when we have none left within ourselves.

How do we protect our children in this scary world?

We can't, not really. We can hold their hands so tightly it cuts off their circulation and follow them around like bird dogs, but there's no way to absolutely ensure they will never hurt, never be disappointed.

We watch over them, of course. We hug them and comfort them and speak the love we feel because nobody ever gets too much love and encouragement.

Through it all, good times or not-so-good, every day we commit our loved ones to God's protection, asking Him to watch over them.

How do we model living in faith?

I used to think at some point I would arrive at a more, um, exalted state of being. That I would somehow "graduate," that is, to be always at peace.  

Perhaps you've wished and prayed for that, too. Let's face the (humbling) truth: We are human beings living with never-ending announcements of yet another reason to feel shaky. That's the world we live in, yet we need not cringe in fear. 

My help comes from the LORD, who made the heavens and the earth! He will not let you stumble and fall; the one who watches over you will not sleep.  Psalm 121:2-3  NLT

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.   Jeremiah 29:11

Come to think of it, isn't that more than enough?

Always, there is help available and it's as close as our nearest Bible.

I've found when I'm running on "empty," the best way to recharge and refuel is to spend time in the Word and in prayer.

Sounds good, but where do I start?

Answers may vary--and that's okay, because each of us is an individual. Like many others, I find it helpful to mark Bible verses so I can find them more easily. 

Verses like these, which I've had marked in my Bible for years:

God is my refuge and strength, an ever present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the sea . . . The LORD Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress.      Psalm 46:1, 11

The LORD gives strength to his people; the LORD blesses his people with peace.   Psalm 29:11

The LORD is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble. Those who know your name will trust in you, for you, LORD, have never forsaken those who seek you.    Psalm 9:9-10

Living in the world

You and I can't stop the evil in the world--and yes, there is evil in the world. Every year the 9/11 remembrances proves the point.  

It didn't stop with 9/11--and it won't. Ever since Eden, the power of Satan--evil--is with us. 

Evil will always keep trying, but it will never win. In Jesus, the battle is already won. 

Our best strategy for survival--for enduring--is to stay planted in the Lord and keep filling our minds with truths from God's written Word. 

Then when our loved ones turn to us, we'll be ready with love and with strength that comes from the Lord, who will never turn away from us.

My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth.   Psalm 121:2  

Whatever the disaster, little or large, in Jesus Christ we find the strength and stability to not only make it through, but also to speak peace and hope to those around us.

All this comes not because of who we are or because of our great internal spiritual resources, but always, only because of the One who lives within us.

Trusting, too,

Lenore

Another Same Old, Same Old Day? Then Celebrate!

Have you ever said to yourself, "I wish something would happen!"

Consider that reckless thinking. That "something" may turn out to be scary.

Take the time I did my usual breast self-exam and felt a tiny lump the size of a BB. I didn't remember feeling anything before. Next came the mammogram, then the "maybe" verdict, then the biopsy.

Boy, did that un-bore me fast!

Thanks be, the final verdict pronounced it benign. 

Sometimes it's a phone call you never wanted to have

Like the morning one of our daughters, college age, called with a plaintive note in her voice, "Is Dad there? I need to talk to him... ."

If you've had young drivers of your own you can guess the reason why. This time another driver, uninsured, had rear-ended her car. That young man pushed her into the stopped car ahead of her at a busy Los Angeles intersection. Now she was scared and stranded because her car had been towed away.

Thank God that although she was shaken up, she was spared serious injuries. 

In the weeks of repair time that followed the rest of us were one car short. One "benefit"--nobody at our house was bored.  

More bad news came a couple of weeks later

A weighty, cream-colored envelope arrived. It bore the name and prestigious address of a Beverly Hills attorney. He wrote to inform us his firm was representing the other driver, someone with an unpronounceable name who was in the U.S. on a student visa. The bottom line of that letter? They intended to sue our daughter.

Can you imagine our outrage? Our daughter was panicked and we weren't far behind as we ran through all the what ifs that came to mind.

At last came common sense and we contacted our insurance company.

End of story.

Periods of fear and uncertainty can happen to us all

Those are the times we wish we could go back to yesterday or the day before.

Back to a day when if someone asked, "How was your day?" we could answer, "Oh, it's been just a normal day, kind of boring, really. Nothing much happened."

If we've had a lengthy string of days like that we may even feel a bit sorry for ourselves. After all, don't we deserve a bit of excitement of our own?

Been there, done that--and it never brings me joy to start going down that track.

Words to lift our spirits

I have no idea who Mary Jean Iron is, but I think her words pack a hefty meaning.  

Normal day, let me be aware of the treasure you are. Let me learn from you, love you, bless you before you depart. Let me not pass you by in quest of some rare and perfect tomorrow. 

In verse 24 of Psalm 118 we find the unshakable reason to consider every day a good day: 

This is the day that the LORD has made. Let us rejoice and be glad in it.

I'm thinking these two together amount to great advice because one fact is inescapable. This day is the only day we really have.

So whatever else is going on--or not going on in our days, let's rejoice that we're still breathing, still standing. Let's thank God we're alive and celebrate every minute of every day! 

Blessings and peace and joy,

Lenore

Ten well-tested principles for happy living

How are you doing with all the uncertainties and unrest around us? 

Many of us find our peace and patience running low. Nameless fears lace through every day and wake us in the night. 

We tell ourselves I've always been good in a crisis. The only catch with that is that a crisis has a beginning and an end.

The situations playing out for us in the news and all around us promise to continue for a long stretch--and we know it.

That makes it worse.

How can we stay on track day-to-day?

Awhile back I ran across a yellowed newspaper clipping of a piece by long-ago columnist Frank Crane. Just reading the title took me back to when I was a young mother who struggled to keep up with the demands of our daily life. 

Even so, I never missed reading a column titled, "Dr. Crane Says" in our daily newspaper because he spoke to my heart. I appreciated his practical advice and down-to-earth wisdom.    

Every year or so the paper would feature his longer piece, "Just for Today" because year after year, it was his most-read column.

This piece made good sense to me then, even though it challenged me. It still does because truth never gets outdated. 

Here it is in the original version: 

Just for Today 

Here are ten resolutions to make when you awake in the morning.

They are Just for One Day. Think of them not as a life task but as a day’s work.

These things will give you pleasure. Yet they require will power. You don’t need resolutions to do what is easy.

1. Just for Today, I will try to live through this day only, and not tackle my whole life-problem at once. I can do some things for twelve hours that would appall me if I felt I had to keep them up for a lifetime.

2. Just for Today, I will be Happy. This assumes that what Abraham Lincoln said is true, that “most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.” Happiness is from Within; it is not a matter of Externals.

3. Just for Today, I will Adjust myself to what Is, and not try to Adjust everything to my own desires. I will take my family, my business, and my luck as they come, and fit myself to them.

4. Just for Today, I will take care of my Body. I will exercise it, care for it, and nourish it, and not abuse it nor neglect it; so that it will be a perfect machine for my will.

5. Just for Today, I will try to strengthen my mind, I will study. I will learn something useful, I will not be a mental loafer all day. I will read something that requires effort, thought and concentration.

6. Just for Today, I will exercise my Soul. In three ways, to wit:

(a) I will do somebody a good turn and not get found out. If anybody knows of it, it will not count.

(b) I will do at least two things I don’t want to do, as William James suggests just for exercise.

(c) I will not show any one that my feelings are hurt. They may be hurt, but Today I will not show it.

7. Just for Today, I will be agreeable. I will look as well as I can, dress as becomingly as possible,  talk low,  act courteously, be liberal with flattery, criticize not one bit nor find fault with anything, and not try to regulate nor improve anybody.

8. Just for Today, I will have a Programme. I will write down just what I expect to do every hour. I may not follow it exactly, but I’ll have it. It will save me from the two pests Hurry and Indecision.

9. Just for Today, I will have a quiet half hour, all by myself, and relax. During this half hour, some time, I will think of God, so as to get a little more perspective to my life.

10. Just for Today, I will be Unafraid. Especially I will not be afraid to be Happy, to enjoy what is Beautiful, to love and to believe that those I love love me.

(Copyright, 1921 by Frank Crane)

One more thing ...

I never want to confine my thinking of God to only 30 minutes a day because he's not "out there" or "up there." Over and over He promises to be with us every minute of every day.

He is our loving God. Because he loved us enough to send his only Son (John 3:16) we're free to ask his help any time of the day or night. Period. Whenever we feel anxious and unsettled we can go to the Lord and let his peace quiet our hearts. 

Long ago God spoke to his people through his prophet Elijah. His words still ring true for us today: 

Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.  Isaiah 41:10   

You and I are never alone. That's true even if we live alone. We can make it through whatever comes if we allow God's promises be our bottom line. 

Trusting, too, 

Lenore

You Can Stay Strong If Disaster Comes

Every day of every year newscasters report the latest bad news of the day. Tornadoes. Floods. Fires. 

Most often disasters occur far distant from our daily lives, so we can breathe a sigh of relief.

So we pray for the victims and we also thank God, especially if the "whatever" is far enough away to miss us and our family. 

There's no place to hide from the seemingly endless procession of mystery viruses. The never-ending scary headlines. Unrest within these United States of America.

No wonder low-level fear lurks within us, waiting to spring. We do our best to tune it out and paste on a calm, happy face.

Then a fire destroys a home down the street. Thieves empty a neighbor's house. A drunk driver hits someone crossing the street and leaves the victim paralyzed.

Immediately our mind goes to That could be me! Or someone I love! We shudder and think, "Please, God, don't let that happen to me."

But sometimes it does.

What if what we dread hits too close to home to ignore?

Pink slips or a business that doesn't make it ends the paycheck(s) we counted on. A dream dies. A lab test reveals a life-threatening illness. Someone we love dies.

Once we stop reeling from the shock we realize there's no escaping this awful new reality. 

And we cannot find one particle of good in any of it.

At times like that we may feel abandoned, as if our Heavenly Father loves every other person on the face of the earth but us. We know that's not true, but still, our pain and fear weigh us down.

Somehow, somehow we make it through one day after the other.

When tragedy threatens--or strikes--what keeps people going?

Counselors and TV personalities offer thousands of words of advice. Most of it boils down to, "Simply change the way you look at your situation. Visualize yourself as strong and fearless and refuse to think any negative thoughts."

Yeah, sure.

These "experts" would be out of business if any of us knew how to do this.

Yet we needn't dissolve into a puddle of fear. Strength that goes way beyond our own is available at any time.

God's strength.  

Peace-in-the-midst is as available as the air we breathe

The best antidote to fear--and the only one I ever found that works--is to fill my mind with Bible verses like these. I repeat them over to myself, aloud or silently. Here are a few I love: 

"Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go."   Joshua 1:9 

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”   Philippians 4:6,7 

The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear?  The LORD is the stronghold of my  life; of whom shall I be afraid?     Psalm 27:1 

I can do all things through him who strengthens me.  Philippians 4:13

"I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”     John 16:33 

"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. I do not give to you as the world gives.  Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.”    John 14:2  

In good times or bad, we are not alone

And we are not powerless. Jesus walks with us through whatever may come. Always. Every day. Every moment. Every second.

Yes, the horror may come near us. Tragedy of one sort or another may change our lives, simply because we are human beings and we live in this imperfect world. We may feel we have no strength--physical, mental or emotional--to go on.

That's the time to hang onto Bible verses like this:

 ... In all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.   Romans 8:37.

As long as we keep our eyes on Jesus, whatever comes will not destroy us. 

Count on it.

Count on it!

Trusting, too,

Lenore