The definition keeps changing
Not so long ago a man who treated his wife and kids well and brought home a regular paycheck passed the test. If he took an interest in his children, so much the better.
Maybe Dad attended his children's ball games and school programs, maybe not. It was okay if he said, "Sorry, I'm just too tired from work."
Mom and the kids would be sympathetic. "Oh, poor Dad, you work so hard. No wonder you're worn out."
From earliest times any Christian wife felt doubly blessed if her husband loved Jesus and went to church with the family.
He who fears the LORD has a secure fortress, and for his children it will be a refuge. Proverbs 14:26 NIV
Then vs. now
Moms today typically expect Dad to be on hand for kid things. After all, didn't they agree they would be equal partners in rearing their children?
When life gets in the way and he can't--or she can't--the parent who feels stuck with filling in might say nothing, just paste on a tight smile and take over.
Next time Mom and Dad see each other, tension may crackle the air. One says the other has not lived up to expectations and gets a response like, "What about the time you ... ?"
Most couples who've logged a few years of marriage would say this:
Give up trying to prove who's more "right." When one "wins," both lose.
Who's on first?
A wise older friend gave my husband and me good advice early on. "Don't get so much into your role as parents that you have nothing left between you once you're back to the two of you."
Always, the prime goal is maintaining your closeness as a couple, a team.
Even though you love your children with all your hearts, let them come in second unless it's an emergency or some kind of threatening situation.
Why would loving parents do that?
Your healthy marriage relationship builds lasting strength into your children.
We are all cracked pots--and it's okay
Nobody's perfect. Author Patsy Clairmont says our "cracks" allow the light of Jesus to shine through us.
So let's cut each other some slack. Let's be quick to forgive and accept each other. And our sons and daughters, too.
That's every dad and mom's most effective way to model for their children how Christians are to handle conflict and frustrations.
Your day-after-day example of love and mutual forgiveness will benefit your kids all their lives.
Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the spirit through the bond of peace. Ephesians 4:2-3 NIV
What if Father's Day dredges up old hurts?
Many adults still ache to hear their father say, "I love you."
Why so silent? Generations of men believed providing for their wife and children demonstrated their love loud and plainly, so what more could anyone ask of them?
Factor in this basic, sad truth. Many men simply never learned how to express their love. How to say the words.
If you're still hurting, healing is possible.
There's only one requirement. It means being willing to lay down that battered bundle of pain at the foot of the cross and leave it there.
Jesus Christ fills our empty places with his love and makes us whole.
Life gets easier when we give up thinking what people should be
Then we can accept each other--and ourselves--as we are.
Love enables us to forgive what's missing.
Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. 1 Peter 4:8 NIV
Here's the Good News. We don't have to generate that love on our own.
Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. 1 John 4:7 ESV
God created only individuals
No specific personality makes us a "good dad" or a "good mom." Nor one parenting style, either.
Let's tune out the drone of talking heads and listen to the still, small voice within us. Leading us. Guiding us. Enabling us.
That voice is the Holy Spirit, Jesus living within our hearts, tenderly telling us, "Love one another as I have loved you."
When that's your standard for parenting, no worries. Dad will be a "good dad" and Mom will be a "good mom" in the memories of your children because they'll remember the love.
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. 1 Corinthians 13:13 NIV
Peace and joy!
Lenore
Recent Comments