A WOMAN'S VIEW ~ Lenore Buth

Ever wondered how God could love you?

Most of us have days now and then when we feel unlovable.

You know how it goes.

For example, take this morning. I complained (mildly) for maybe the thousandth time about a minor annoyance.

Then the darling guy I married a lifetime ago dared to utter one harmless, absolutely logical remark--and with a smile, yet.

"Well, maybe it's time to just get over it."

The Ice Age Cometh

Immediately I felt my personal ice curtain slithering down. I knew he spoke truth, but did that melt the ice? Uh-uh.

Maybe I can blame it on occasional chilly mealtimes when I was a kid. 

When one of us was in trouble with you-know-who it got very quiet. All you heard was, "Please pass the butter," or "May I have the mashed potatoes?" 

At the time I vowed I would never, never, never follow that example.

As an adult I've worked hard to stamp out what feels like a "natural" response. Most of the time I'm successful. But once in awhile I forget.

Amazingly, this patient man keeps   on loving me--on good days and the other kind

I'm his wife and he's my husband. We spoke our wedding vows before God and family long ago, back when we were young and clueless--and we meant it. All through our marriage that pledge has carried us through life's inevitable down times.

We've clung to each other and to God and carried on, growing stronger and closer all the way. 

My husband knows I love him. Period. I know he loves me. Period.

As for our four daughters and sons-in-love and our grandchildren, we love each one. Period.

Nothing they do--or don't do--will change that one tiny bit.

I think that's a small glimpse of how God feels about us

No matter how hard we try, no matter how many times we resolve to do better, sooner or later we fall short. And yet He loves us. All because of Jesus.

(Jesus said) "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him."               --John 3:16-17

Jesus came to set us right with the Father. By faith we are his children. 

Because I love and trust Jesus as my Savior, God forgives me, even when I slip up. Period.

(Jesus said) "He who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I too will love him and show myself to him."                                                                                       (John 14:21)

That's it. Nothing more is required. Just faith in Jesus

It's not complicated. Find a quiet place to talk with Him, that is, to pray.

Then pour out your heart, even all the stuff you really don't want to talk about. Ask His forgiveness for your failures. Leave that heavy bundle of past failings with Him and feel the weight lift from your shoulders.

Perhaps you're not sure God exists, let alone Jesus. Then tell Him. Ask Him to let you know in your heart and your spirit that He is real. 

His love doesn't depend on whether you're "good enough" because Jesus died to pay for the sins of the world. It's a done deal. That's what He meant when He said on the cross, "It is finished."  John 19:30

Know one thing for sure

You've heard the verse, God is love.

We can't compare our human love to God's love for us. That's like comparing the water in a toy teacup to the water in the Pacific. His love is a mystery beyond our comprehension.

I get a tiny hint of understanding on days like this, when I can't figure out how my husband goes on loving his imperfect wife.

I'm just thankful he does.

Blessings,

Lenore

 

Related articles

Feed your marriage on "we" instead of "me" and watch it thrive

Where to turn when you come to the end of yourself

What good are fathers in a child's life?

How to build a stronger marriage

This week my husband and I celebrated another wedding anniversary. 

We've been married since we were just kids, crazy in love and wanting only to be together. I'm delighted to report, we're still holding hands.

Our first daughter arrived two years later, followed by three more beautiful little girls.

(In case you feel sorry for my husband, don't bother. What guy doesn't like getting mobbed by adoring little girls every time he walks in the door? Still today they love him dearly.)

In the beginning we believed by blind faith we could count on each other. Now we know it by experience. We are, in truth, each other's best friend.

Did we ever struggle? Of course. Over the years we learned and grew, as individuals and as a couple.

The key to lifetime marriage

Every marriage is the union of two imperfect people because, well, that's all there is.

From the start we had an advantage. You see, we meant what we promised God and each other on our wedding day. Each of us married for life. 

That's critical, I think. My best comparison is the difference between a career and a job.

Individuals intent on building careers swallow temporary frustrations and make allowances, refusing to be discouraged by setbacks. They focus on the future, rich with promise, and that keeps them going. Their motto is, "This is the career I want and I'll do what it takes to make it work."

People who say, "It's just a job," like to keep their options open. They say, "If the going gets rough, I can quit anytime I want. After all, this isn't the only job out there."

A checklist of basic truths we've learned

• Throw away that mental list of your husband's shortcomings. Instead, concentrate on strengths. (Isn't that what you want from him?)

• Remember that love thrives on respect. All of us more likely give respect when we feel respected.
  
  
• Putting each other down--especially when others are present--quickly frays the fabric of love.
  
  
• Always speak well of your husband to your children and in front of them. (Otherwise, why would they respect their father?)
  
  
• More important than lipstick: Wear a happy face--and season your words with love. It lifts the spirits of the whole family.
  

• Say "thank you" often and be generous with compliments. (Wives are not the only ones who appreciate being appreciated.)

• Big lesson I learned: I do not "shrink" or lose face when I cherish my husband. Besides, when he feels loved and valued he's more ready to reciprocate.

• Put your marriage relationship ahead of either one's personal rights. Make this your standard: "Is this good for our marriage?" (Isn't your marriage more important than a temporary "win?")

• If you're not already of the same mind about believing in Jesus, consider a U-turn. Ask God to guide you. Check out Jesus-centered churches. When you share the same faith, you share common agreement on many issues that otherwise could be troublesome.

Three great Bible verses to live by 

Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. --Proverbs 12:18

Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. --Ephesians 4:2-3

Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. --1 Peter 4:8

Here's to treating our marriages as what they are: priceless treasures.

Take joy in today and tomorrow will be better, I promise.

Lenore

 

 

 

 

 

 

Related articles

The wedding was beautiful, but can it last?

Rome wasn't built in a day or two. Neither is a marriage

 

How to be happier in your marriage

Home remedies for strengthening your marriage

How to have a perfect husband

My sweetheart and I just marked another in a long string of wedding anniversaries. 

Is he really perfect? Well, probably not. Am I? Certainly not. Have we grown and changed? Absolutely.

I fell hard for this handsome young fella the first time he aimed a smile my way.

We married young and experts would have pronounced us doomed for divorce. They didn't know we meant it when we promised to be faithful and to stay married for life. Most of all, we knew God was on our side. As that favorite wedding text, Ecclesiastes 4:12 puts it: 

Though one may be overpowered,  two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

So when we hit those inevitable rough spots, we prayed and clung to each other and worked it through.

"Until death do us part" ensures time to grow--and see more clearly

• The darling I dreamed of would wow me with extravagant gestures of love. The darling I live with wows me with endless quiet deeds of love.
  
  
• I knew life with the boy I loved would be easy, just because we would be together. Life with the man I love at times grew tense and chill descended, but we kept talking and worked it through.
  
  
• The mate of my imagination would never be too busy to listen to my ramblings. The mate I live with always hears what's on my heart.
  
  
• The lover of my romantic dreams would say memorable things like the movie hero who makes his lady swoon. The lover in my life has seen me at my worst--and still thinks I'm memorable, which makes me swoon.
  
  
• The man I pictured making a life with would stand for truth and beauty and community-mindedness and of course, everyone would look up to him. The man I make a real life with quietly lives with faith in Jesus--and all the rest follows.
  
  
• The one I dreamed of making a life with would come home with  a happy heart and swing me off my feet. The one I make a life with comes home and stays home with a heart that's happy if I'm happy. He "swings me off my feet" with a smile.
  
  
• The guy I married never cooked and considered housekeeping my domain. The sweetheart I live with now taught himself to cook and does housework because, he says, after so many years it's turnabout fair play.
  
  
• The young man I fell for gave me butterflies with a smile or an arm around my waist. The always-young man I'm married to still gives me flutters with that certain smile or that certain hug.     

Does all this sound impossible? 

I promise you, it's not. 

Trust me, we're very human and we made mistakes. We absolutely know God watched over us and blessed us every step of the way. 

The point is, He will do the same for you. Just ask Him.

Then walk in faith. Pray. Love as wholeheartedly as you can. Watch your thoughts, because whatever you think about all the time can crowd out what's real. 

In marriage as in life, keep your attention on what is, not on what's missing.

Will it be worth all the prayers and tears and struggles? Yes!

Wishing you joy,

Lenore