A WOMAN'S VIEW ~ Lenore Buth

Found! A Simple Way to Improve Your Mood

Let me pass on a lesson I learned along the way--and isn't that the way we all learn?   

I'm making progress because awhile back a new friend said, "You always wear the hint of a  smile. What's your secret?"

I thanked her for that delightful compliment, of course. Right then I couldn't come up with anything better than a glib "Well, I guess I have a lot to smile about." 

Later on an incident from years ago popped into my head and suddenly I knew the answer to that question.

It sounds strange, but sometimes big truth comes from unlikely sources.

On that ordinary, life-changing day I was so completely focused on my list I didn't really look at the other shoppers milling around me

That is, not until one of them stopped me by tapping me on the shoulder. The tiny elderly lady looked concerned as she said, "'Excuse me, Honey, but you look so sad I had to stop. Is there anything I can do for you?"

Sad? Me? Baffled, I said something like, "I'm sorry, ma'am, but what do you mean?"

"Well, judging by the expression on your face, I figure you must be dealing with something really heavy. I'm so sorry! Just wanted to tell you things hardly ever are as bad as they seem. So cheer up, Dearie, and never, ever  give up hope!" 

With that she smiled again, then patted my shoulder and scurried away.   

I stood there speechless

All I could think was, what on earth was she talking about?

A few steps later I ran into my reflection on a mirrored pillar near me and took a hard look. I did look, well, grim. As much as I hated to admit it to myself that little lady wasn't exaggerating.

I heard her words in my mind for days. So did the question that refused to be stilled: What do I communicate to others around me?

Always before I thought of myself as a happy person. Now I couldn't escape the obvious: That's probably not the message the people around me picked up. 

What could I do? 

I decided to start with the way I deliberately set my lips, even when I was alone.  

Just as importantly I would pay attention to the words coming out of my mouth. 

Now I had a plan. From that moment on I would 

• wear a happy expression
• look for the good and
• speak encouragement.

I soon decided that wouldn't matter unless I lived it. If I wanted this to become a habit, my new behavior had to be all day, every day.

So I paid careful attention to the expression I wore. To my surprise, before long I didn't need to remind myself so often.  

I also concentrated on looking for and speaking the good. Soon that became more routine, too--but I still have to watch myself.

Always, always it's easier to sink into a down mood than to stay in an up mood.

Nothing changed, but everything changed

Before long I realized I was more fun to be around, even for myself. My same old, same old life felt happier, too.

Could it be this simple?

All I know is that old song holds some real meaning:  

"Put on a happy face...and you will be happy, too." 

It's not the whole truth, for sure, but it's a beginning. 

Like that tiresome saying, you can't journey a thousand miles if you never take that first step.

Looking for Bible backup?

For me, "thinking good thoughts" won't keep me going for long. Here's one specific verse that speaks to the subject. 

A glad heart makes a cheerful face, but by sorrow of heart the spirit is crushed.  -Proverbs 15:

There's more, of course. Whatever our situation, we Christians always have reason to smile. 

For God so loved the world that He gave His only Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life.  -John 3:16

But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.  -Romans 5:8

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him.  -Romans 15:13

With love and prayers,

Lenore

Are you longing for Christmas joy? Find it here

One unforgettable Sunday morning in church we sat right behind pure joy

The worship theme for the day was "Joy!" and a little girl in the row ahead of us showed us what joy looks like.

She looked much like the girl in the photo as she swayed back and forth in her polka dot dress, keeping time to the music of the worship team. 

She kept smiling up at her parents and her smile lit up her face. That adorable 5-year old was lost in praise and joy.

All of us around her were smiling, too. As always, we sang the praise songs, but with (ahem) more restraint. Blame it on being all grown-up and "sensible". Experienced. Seasoned by life.

(But wouldn't it be wonderful to feel such joy every day of the week?)

Are you feeling life is one dreary round of duty after another?  

We all could use a fresh infusion of joy, especially this time of year, when dark is long and daylight is short.

Still, we short-circuit that possibility by our December routines:

• Impossible schedules, with Christmas programs and parties and gatherings all converging on a few dates
• Never enough time
• Never enough sleep
• Dithering over what to have for the eat-too-much family dinner. Or if out-of-town family is visiting over Christmas, will we be hosting? And how much food will we need to prepare?
• Tensions over wanting to give gifts that light up our loved ones' eyes while trying to stick to the family budget

It's time to ask ourselves what really matters?

Many of us are scurrying around, reciting to ourselves, "I-gotta-remember-to- ..." Suppose we stopped for awhile and breathed in God's strength.

It helps to refocus our thoughts and fill our minds with what He says to us:

Be still, and know that I am God.  -Psalm 46:10

Let the peace of God rule in your hearts.  -Colossians 3:15 

In quietness and trust is your strength.  -Isaiah 30:15

These verses can become the music in our minds that drowns out the din and emptiness of commercialism.

Always, we have a choice of what we let take root in our minds. 

Remember the reason for the season

If we look back at our lives, what stands out are the people and the love. 

That's true for our children, too. Right now we can be laying down treasure in their memory banks and their hearts. Let's make it the real thing, like celebrating the birth of the Christ Child together and nestling into the warmth and love of family.

If we're preoccupied with the tinsel of cramming in all the "stuff" of the holidays we'll miss out on what really matters and they will, too. Our calmness and gentleness will help quiet our children and give them a pattern for how to live.

Joy comes from within, remember?

Jesus is the reason for the season

The angels proclaimed JOY to all the world the night Jesus was born. Remember?

That night there were shepherds staying in the fields nearby, guarding their flocks of sheep. Suddenly, an angel of the Lord appeared among them, and the radiance of the Lord’s glory surrounded them. They were terrified, but the angel reassured them. “Don’t be afraid!” he said. “I bring you good news that will bring great joy to all people."     --Luke 2:8-10

Joy to you and joy to me.

The same joy that bubbled up in that little girl and spilled over onto the world around her.

Joy to the highest of the high and the lowest of the low

We may assume those shepherds had it easy, lolling around on picturesque green hills while their gentle sheep grazed peacefully. All they had to do was keep an eye on them.   

Not true. If you've spent any time around sheep you know they're easily spooked and will run mindlessly after the first sheep that starts running. 

Add in possible predators that lurk in the shadows, waiting. In 1 Samuel 17 young David tells of a shepherd's life:

“I have been taking care of my father’s sheep and goats,” he said. “When a lion or a bear comes to steal a lamb from the flock, I go after it with a club and rescue the lamb from its mouth. If the animal turns on me, I catch it by the jaw and club it to death." 

Doesn't sound too idyllic, does it?

Every day those shepherds dealt with life and death--and they got no respect from the world. They lived with their sheep and probably smelled like them, too, coming back to their villages badly in need of soap and water and a haircut. 

Yet they were the first to see and worship Jesus, except Mary and Joseph.

Whatever our difficulties, Jesus brings joy

Christians are not immune from troubles and trials, but we're never on our own.

The Apostle Peter wrote about that in 1 Peter 1. He describes how Jesus brings us joy, here from the New Living Translation, verses 8-9:

You love him even though you have never seen him. Though you do not see him, you trust him; and even now you are happy with a glorious, inexpressible joy. Your reward for trusting him will be the salvation of your souls.

That's our reason for joy and for praise, for swaying with the music of our lives. Through whatever comes, we know Jesus is with us.

That joy can be yours.

If you're still wondering what you think about God, find a Bible and look up the Gospel of John. Read John 3:16 and think on it awhile. Ponder that the word "whoever" includes you.

You can read the familiar Christmas story in Luke, chapter 2.

JOY to you, my friends, in the dark and in the light, at Christmas and all year through!

Lenore

Here comes a Christmas heart-lift and a smile

Are you thinking Christmas won't be the same this year? Feeling a bit rushed?  

It's time for a break. Sit for a moment and catch the joy of these children--and adults--as you watch and listen to this YouTube of some years ago.

First, a bit of background          

It all started when James Barthelman and his wife moved from Nebraska to the tiny village of Quinhagak, Alaska, to teach. Quinhagak is a (mostly) Yup'ik Eskimo village, 400 miles west of Anchorage, with no roads to the outside world. At the last census the population numbered 699 residents.

James was to teach in the village school, Kuinerramiut Elitnarviat School. 

During the school year he and his fifth-graders came up with making this YouTube video as a school computer project that would involve both children and villagers. Barthelman filmed it, intending that this YouTube would go only to other Yup'ik villages in the area. 

But it caught on and went viral

By now well over 1.8 million people have viewed this lively performance, all of it synced with the recording of the Robert Shaw Chorale singing the "Hallelujah" chorus from Handel's Messiah.

That one teacher in one small school never imagined how many people would be entranced by this video. 

Quinhagak is a long way from Dublin, Ireland, where George Frideric Handel composed Messiah in 1741. At the time he considered himself something of a failure. Then during a 24-day period he composed the entire score of Messiah, for both choir and orchestra. He said he felt God gave him the music.

Handel never could have foreseen how his music would endure.

Nor that centuries later a teacher and a group of Inuit children would come up with such a creative performance, all of it synced with a recorded choir singing Handel's "Hallelujah" chorus.

Consider this another reminder what God can do with the work of one individual 

Although Handel composed many other musical works, only his "Hallelujah" chorus is sung and hummed all over the world. His Messiah is performed every Christmas season by choruses and choirs in huge cities and in tiny villages on every continent.  

There's a lesson here for you and me

As individuals and as moms and dads we cannot know what God will do with our work.

Or the work of our children.

I can't help thinking of this Bible verse.

For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.   Ephesians 2:10  NIV

That verse wasn't aimed only at Handel and other famous people. It speaks to you and me, too.

Think you're on a treadmill and going nowhere?

Perhaps today you question the value of your life. Maybe you're facing your first Christmas alone after losing a loved one.

Maybe you're a mom and your family most often notices what you do when you don't do it.  

Put a positive spin on that. Being taken for granted also means your family knows they can count on you.

What's more, the family life you create and the love you pour into your days will live on in your children.

Joy comes from giving ourselves fully, knowing that what we do matters, whether we see the end result or not.

God is faithful. What we do in love will live on

Believe it. Let that truth put fresh energy in your tired body.

Someone needs us, needs our kind words, needs our encouragement. Whether we realize it or not, those are gifts, too.

This Christ-mas season let's put aside our usual thoughts of hurry and pressure and think on the greatest Gift. 

For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish, but have eternal life.   John 3:16  ESV

Hallelujah!

Lenore

Why it helps us to remember what's good and right and true

Sometimes God chooses unlikely ways to remind us we have a lot to be thankful for, doesn't He?

I won't forget the day I learned a lot by eavesdropping on someone else's conversation.

Let me explain.

One morning I stopped a local coffee shop and soon got jolted out of my private little pity party. (It wasn't much fun, anyway.) 

The hostess seated me in a booth close to a table where two men seemed really intent on their conversation.  

One man had a radio-announcer voice that carried, even though he spoke softly. I couldn't help overhearing and once he started talking I didn't want to miss a word. Besides, I wanted to finish my coffee and snack. I grabbed my trusty note pad and jotted down his key points.   

Here's my best recap of his story

"I have one brother, the only family I have left. We've never been close, but we talked by phone once in awhile. We lived a couple hundred miles apart, so we didn't know much about each other's lives, but that was okay with both of us. 

"One day I got a call from a Child Welfare worker in his city. She told me the police arrested my brother and his wife for dealing drugs. They took his three children out of the house and turned them over to Child Welfare.

"The social worker told me my brother's kids would go into foster care unless my wife and I took them. We were their only hope and she wanted an answer by the next day. I was speechless and my wife even more so. We talked and talked and cried and prayed half the night. At last we said Yes, thinking it would be short-term. 

"Not so. Eventually my brother and his wife were convicted of running a drug ring and both got long prison sentences.  

"It's been hard, hard, hard, even though we've talked to our pastor and friends many times and we've had family counseling. My 9-year old nephew adapted pretty well. My 11-year old niece keeps it all inside, but those two both call us Mom and Dad and really, that's what we are. We're the ones who are there and who will be there, and we love them. They all know that, even the 15-year old.

"She still has nightmares. She rebels in just about every way she can dream up, no matter what we do. We're coming to think perhaps what she needs most is beyond our ability, maybe some kind of special mental-health treatment for awhile, to help her heal.  

"We've prayed and tried to pour out love, but we've also failed in a lot of ways. I think I didn't really know much about talking to God before this upheaval in our lives. One thing I know, we wouldn't have made it without God giving us strength, minute-by-minute. Sometimes we've thought we couldn't keep on, but God has brought us this far, so we trust Him for the future.

"Here's the wonderful surprise and extra blessing in all this. We missed seeing it for quite awhile. Then recently we thought back to the early days of our marriage when the doctors told us we never would have children of our own and we were crushed. Now here we are with three kids, two of them doing very well. Now we are at peace. In spite of all the pain, we have joy and we know we did the right thing."

As I rose to leave I glanced at the men and saw they both had tears in their eyes. They matched my own.

A change of heart 

You won't be surprised to hear I walked out with a new perspective on challenges in my life, my heart brimming with thanks and praise.  

• Thanks for that man and his wife who opened their home and their hearts and changed the lives--and the future--of three hurting youngsters. (And their own.)
  
  
• Thanks to God for supplying the love and strength they needed to give of themselves, day by day, and not count the cost.
  
  
• Thanks that they can see the blessings and joy hidden within their daily sacrifices.

That conversation refocused my thinking in how to look at challenges in my life.

Like that couple, let's open our eyes to the joy!  

The Apostle Paul well knew personal suffering but he also knew how to find joy. I love the way he sums up his secret in Philippians 4:

Rejoice in the Lord always, I will say it again: Rejoice! ... Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Finally, brothers (and sisters) whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things . . . And the God of peace will be with you.                                                    (Selected from Phil. 4:4-9 NIV)

"Rejoice!" It's not a suggestion, it's more like a must. An attitude we choose.

"If anything is excellent or praiseworthy ... " Paul is telling us that whatever comes we can search out some bit of excellence or cause for praise. IF we wear that mindset as we look for it rather than getting stuck in our problems and disappointments. IF we remind ourselves that our loving God never leaves us on our own. 

We will find the good, not because we're so great, but because God is faithful to those who trust in Him.

Trusting, too, 

Lenore

Put joy into your days

What does it take to make you laugh?

Somehow it's much easier to be amused by another person's predicament than our own, isn't it?  

Think about it. Did you laugh ...  

At that meeting where you went on and on about a favorite topic and everyone clapped, but then someone brought up points that destroyed your argument?

Or the time someone left a red sock in the washer and turned your load of whites Pepto-Bismal pink?

Or that Parent-Teacher Night when your child's teacher said with a knowing smile, "Oh, I've heard so much about you."

Did you laugh? Probably not.

Neither did I, but I wish I had.

How one woman found the better way

My long-ago friend, Marge, had an easy laugh and an unflappable spirit. Even her irrepressible young son's antics didn't faze her. 

I remember the rainy morning I dropped by for coffee and we sat around her kitchen table. "Jimmy" came running in, grabbed a towel and soon reappeared with their very wet family cat wrapped in the towel, then headed toward the laundry room.

Marge and I went on sipping and chatting.

A few minutes later we heard a lot of thumping and bumping coming from the direction of the laundry room. Marge jumped up and went to investigate. I followed, a few steps behind.

Six-year-old Jimmy stood in front of the gas clothes dryer with his arms folded across his chest and kept chanting, "There's no cat in here, Mommy, there's no cat in here. Honest!"

Marge barely managed to suppress her laughter--and so did I  

She shut off the dryer and rescued the cat, then sternly ordered Jimmy to his room. Once he was out of earshot, we collapsed into laughter.

After awhile Marge put down the still rather dazed Kitty and poured it a bowl of milk.  

After she refilled our coffee mugs I asked her secret to remaining calm no matter what. She thought a minute, then said, "I used to get easily upset, but I learned to ask myself, 'Will it matter in a hundred years?' If not I make myself laugh and simply deal with what is.

"I decided a long time ago that life is too short to waste it blowing up over trifles."

"Make myself laugh"

That day I discovered yes, it's a matter of our temperament, but it's also--and perhaps most of all--a matter of will.

Marge taught herself to find the laughter in everyday frustrations.

My friend role-modeled the woman, the kind of mom, I wanted to become, one who looked for--and found--at least a bit of joy in every situation. Now I understood why my mood improved whenever I spent time with her. 

A happy heart makes the face cheerful, but heartache crushes the spirit.   Proverbs 15:13

Laughter is catching, but so is the opposite 

Our attitudes show up most clearly at home. One happy spouse usually means two happy spouses. Parents who laugh a lot have children who laugh a lot.

Conversely, one family member's lousy mood can spread to the rest of the family than any 24-hour stomach bug. In no time at all everybody is cranky and complaining.

Few of us would answer the phone or show up at work with that attitude. Instead, we'd breathe deep and dredge up smiles. From somewhere.

Don't we owe the same to the ones we love?

Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.   Proverbs 12:18

The value of laughter for our health    

Counselors say the ability to laugh at ourselves is a major factor in keeping us emotionally balanced. Medical people tell us laughter also benefits our physical health and even revs up our immune system.

Since laughter is good for us, why do so many of us routinely choose to wear a frown or a sober expression?  

A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.   Proverbs 17:22

Let's get rid of that tired old habit

It will take some resolve to change, but we can do it. If we need more incentive, how about this? The experts tell us that smiling and laughing will pay off in fewer wrinkles because it takes 37 muscles to frown and only 12 to smile.

And wouldn't it brighten every day if we adopted a more relaxed attitude toward life and our individual situation?

It's obvious our Creator endowed human beings with the capacity to smile and laugh. Nobody ever has to teach a baby how to laugh.

You and I possess that same natural potential for finding humor in small things and everyday happenings. Let's cultivate that gift and let it add sparkle to our days.

I'm in. How about you? 

Learning along with you,

Lenore

What do you think? Is the Christmas Story just a story?

Ask this question of a random group of people and answers will be all over the place.  

One person may say, "I guess it's kind of a nice story, but I can't relate. I mean, this is the 21st century. How does a story about a baby in a manger have any meaning for us today?"

Another may say, "I think all religions are pretty much the same, so what difference does it make? We're all headed for the same place, no matter how we get there. Isn't that the bottom line?" 

For millions of people around the world who come to faith in Jesus, the story of that first Christmas is life-changing.

Here's the true story of one such man, who found this to be true

I heard about a businessman, "Kevin," who years ago had to spend some time overseas. He noticed he was scheduled for a free day in the same city his college roommate called "home." After a lengthy Internet search he managed to find current information and arranged to meet with his old friend.

Kevin and "Abbud," met in a quiet cafe and found a table toward the back. They immediately slipped into the easy comfort of good friends reunited and talked for hours. Kevin mentioned he always knew his friend came from a non-Christian background, but back then he hadn't known how to talk about it.  

Abbud carefully looked all around the space, then lowered his voice to almost a whisper and said, "That was true then, but no more. Believe me, I do not say this to many people. You see, at home my wife 'Alika' and I find ways to hear and to watch broadcasts and telecasts from the West. We are very, very careful, of course.

"When first we heard the good news of the Gospel we right away gave our hearts to Jesus.  

Kevin said nothing for awhile, then cleared his throat and murmured, "This is an answer to prayer, my friend. It didn't seem important those years we shared a room and really, I thought I needed the 'right' words to talk about faith. All these years I've wished that I said something. I have prayed for you and now, your words make me glad."

The two men sat quietly, sipping their coffee. Then Kevin asked, "Would you mind telling me what differences you find between the two religions?" 

Abbud answered quietly, but without hesitation, "It is night and day! We all were taught that God is impossibly far from human beings, but still we must try our hardest to reach toward Him through being faithful in our spiritual practices.   

"Imagine what it means to know that in Jesus, God came to earth as an infant, just so he could live among human beings. Among people like us!

"It still amazes me every time I think that God came to us!

"You probably don't remember, but the last day of school you gave me a little Bible and told me I should read it on the long flight back home. I never opened it, just tucked it into my bag and I kept it hidden all these years. Now I searched it out and could not stop reading. The more I read, the more I was amazed. In Exodus it tells how God dwelt with His people, the Israelites, there in the wilderness. God went before them in a pillar of cloud by day and in a pillar of fire by night. He even spoke to Moses directly!

"Then Alika and I read it was God's plan all along to send His Son to earth. He came to pay the price of all our sins. He came to set us right with holy God. We could live free from fear, free from condemnation. Right away I felt lighter, as if someone unlocked my heavy chains.

"Jesus did it all! For me! I will never be the same. No matter what comes next, I have peace in my heart--and so does my wife."

Abbud's dark eyes shone as he said, "So for us, this is what's different about the Christian faith. Knowing that Jesus is for us and with us sets our hearts at rest."

Christmas is nothing less than a miracle of God 

In the Bible Jesus often is called the Word, as in John 1:1-5, 14; 3:16-17:  

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. he was with God in the beginning. Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. In him was life, and that life was the light of men. The light shines in the darkness, but the darkness has not understood it.

The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the One and Only who came from the Father, full of grace and truth.

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.    

The Christian faith is not about a far-off, distant god or a monument

Nor is it about magnificent temples or cities where followers must go and worship to prove their faithfulness. It's not even about living up to a list of dos and don'ts.

The Christian faith is all about our Lord being up close and personal for every one of us. Our Savior and best Friend. Our Comforter. Our strength. Our Deliverer. Our Peace. Our Joy. 

That's why God came to earth, born as a human baby to a human mother, there in Bethlehem. Fully human and fully God.

He came for you.

For me.

And for all the world.

That's the heart of what we call the Christmas story. 

Dear Reader, whoever you are and wherever you may be, may your heart be filled with the peace and joy of Jesus this Christmas and every day of the New Year!

Lenore