A WOMAN'S VIEW ~ Lenore Buth

Are You Longing for More Life in Your Life?

Maybe you think that's impossible in your situation. 

But what if it were true? Would you trade how you feel about your life now for deep-down, unshakable peace, no matter what comes? 

I write this as we near the end of what Christians call the Lenten season and nearing  Easter.                

You may be thinking, So what? That means nothing to me except chocolate eggs and bunnies. Silliness, really. 

Let's set that aside and concentrate on why Christians have celebrated Easter for centuries.

Not for treats but to remember the reason for it all.

Let's start with a brief recap 

The first pages of the Bible recount how God created what we call the natural world out of nothing. (Genesis 1)

Genesis 2 tells about God creating Adam and Eve, the first two human beings. They lived in a beautiful garden and were completely at ease with their Heavenly Father. We would say, they had it all.

God laid down only one condition: Do not touch or eat the fruit of this one tree in the middle of the garden or you will die. 

Then came the Devil, who spoke through the serpent. He planted doubt. (Doesn't he always?) Eve tasted the fruit and found it good, so she gave some to Adam and he, too, turned away from the Father who loved them.  (Genesis 3)

Their disobedience changed everything--for them and their descendants--that's us--even to this day.

What does this have to do with me?

We all know how often we fail to live up to even our own standards. (Remember those New Year's resolutions?)

What about after we die? Most people say they want to live a good life and many think if they "do the right thing" enough of their life they will make it into Heaven.

Yet our best efforts fall short because God's desire is that we be holy, because he is holy (Leviticus 19:2.) That means to be utterly good, in thought, word and deed, 24 hours a day throughout our lifetimes. Anything else is called "sin."

You and I know we couldn't achieve that, no matter how hard we tried.  

Even so, God never stopped loving. That's what Christmas is all about. The human baby born to Mary in Bethlehem, was the Son of God, and Joseph was to be his human father. (Luke, chapters 1-2) 

That Baby was human, born to a human mother, but he was also God. (Luke 1:35) 

So why did he die on a cross?

Let's get this straight first: Jesus was not overwhelmed and captured by those soldiers in the Garden of Gethsemane. He went with them willingly, all while knowing what would follow.

This God-man came to earth to set things right between us human beings and God. Jesus, who never sinned, allowed Himself to be nailed to the cross. For you, for me. It was all part of God's plan.

God made Him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in Him we might become the righteousness of God. 2 Corinthians 5:21

In [Christ] we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God's grace.                 Ephesians 1:7

Jesus died on a cross, yes, but there is more to it 

If you haven't known it before, you can read the whole story in the Gospel of John, chapters 19-21.

Yes, Jesus died to pay the price for all our sins, past, present and future.

But ... he rose again!

After three days in the tomb he reappeared to his followers many times. He interacted and talked with them and ate regular food with them.

Jesus even invited Thomas to touch his wounds because Thomas couldn't believe what his friends were saying.  

No wonder his followers were overjoyed

You and I can share in that joy. Because Jesus lives eternally, every person who trusts and believes in him as their Lord and Savior also has eternal life.

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish, but have eternal life.                                                                                       John 3:16

"Whoever" includes all who believe. Period.

That's why Christians celebrate Easter

It's all about love. Love that kept Jesus there on the cross. Love that never fails or walks away when we're hurting. Love that brings us joy, even in our lowest times.

This gift is available to every one of us, ours for the taking and the trusting. Will we accept it and choose to walk with the One who loves us this much? 

I'm praying for you, dear invisible friends,

Lenore

 

Take Another Look at the "Good Old Days"

Some people wish they lived in "simpler times." They picture themselves reclining on couches or sitting on cool wraparound porches, sipping cool lemonade. 

It must have been idyllic, they tell themselves. But was it?

Maybe not. Years ago our family visited a museum where I picked up a small souvenir parchment, an exact copy of one pioneer mother's laundry instructions to her soon-to-be-married daughter.  

Mama's Wash Receipt

1.  Bild a fire in back yard to heet kettle of rain rater.

2.  Set tubs so smoke won't blow in eyes if wind is pert.

3.  Shave one hole cake of lie sope in bilin water. 

4.  Sort things. Make three piles. 1 pile white, 1 pile cullord, 1 pile work britches and rags. 

5.  Stir flour in cold water to smooth, then thin down with bilin water. 

6.  Rub dirty spots on board, scrub hard, then bile. Rub cullord, but don't bile--just rench and starch.

7.  Take white things out of kettle with broom handle, then rench, blew and starch.

8.  Spred tee towels on grass.

9.  Hang old rags on the fence. 

10. Pore rench water on flower bed.  

11. Scrub porch with hot soapy water.

12. Turn tub upside down.

13. Go put on clean dress--smooth hair with side combs.

14. Brew cup of tea--set and rest and rock a spell and count yer blessings.

(Do you still want to swap your automatic washer and dryer for the "romance" of living long ago?)    

Let's not stop with laundry

A friend sent this to me, assorted random facts from 1910:

♦ Average life expectancy for men: 48 years

♦ Old Glory featured only 45 stars

♦ Crossword puzzles, canned beer, and iced tea had not been invented  

♦ Official Mother's Day or Father's Day? Not then

♦ The bra would not be patented until 1914 

♦ Two out of every 10 adults couldn't read or write and only 6 percent of all Americans had graduated from high school

♦ The process to flash-freeze food was patented in 1924 by Clarence Birdseye

♦ Only 14 percent of all U.S. homes had a bathtub

♦ Penicillin not discovered until 1928

♦ Just 8 percent of homes had a telephone

♦ The first voice and music signals heard were transmitted over radio waves in December 1906

♦ The ballpoint pen invented in 1944 

♦ There were only 8,000 cars and only 144 miles of paved roads in the USA

♦ The maximum speed limit in most places: 10 mph

♦ Tallest structure in the world: the Eiffel Tower

♦ Average US wage in 1910 only 22 cents per hour

♦ The average US worker earned between $200 and $400 per year

♦ The calculator invented in 1970 

♦ More than 95% of all births took place at home

♦ 90 percent of all doctors had no college education 

♦ Sugar cost about 4 cents per pound

♦ Eggs sold for about 14 cents a dozen

♦ Coffee was 15 cents a pound

♦ 18% percent of households had at least one full-time servant

♦ There were about 230 reported murders in the entire U.S.

♦ Most women washed their hair only once a month and used Borax or egg yolks for shampoo

♦ Underarm deodorant and toothpaste did not exist

♦ The five leading causes of death: 1. The flu, 2. Tuberculosis, 3. Diarrhea, 4. Heart disease, 5. Stroke

Obviously, there were no microwaves, no cell-phones, no internet, no social media. 

One centenarian's opinion

Over four decades ago my grandmother, who at the time lived in an assisted-living facility, celebrated her 100th birthday. (She lived to be 101.) The local small-town newspaper sent a female reporter to interview her. This proved a bit frustrating for the young woman.

It seems Grandma peppered her with questions about how she managed her life as a wife, the mother of two preschoolers, and also worked for the newspaper. Through all this the reporter kept asking, "I do enjoy talking with you, but please, won't you tell me about the good old days?"

Finally, Grandma replied. "Well, the good old days weren't so great. You wouldn't have liked 'em much."

Not a bad role model for living, I'd say

As you might guess, I love Grandma's answer and I think it's a good attitude for any of us to hang onto as the years pass. After all, don't the experts keep telling us we need to "live in the moment"?

So let's make the most of today, as the psalmist advised us in Psalm 118:24, here from the ESV:

This is the day that the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.

 Here's to loving the life we have in the day we are living!

 Lenore

Get Your Eyes Off That "Flyspeck" and Live!

Have you ever looked up to the ceiling of a room and spotted a flyspeck you never noticed before? 

Right away it's as if the rest of the room didn't matter because that FLYSPECK blotted out everything else. 

Think of that "flyspeck" as an example of how a small concern easily can become the only thing one can think about.  

Learning along the way   

I wasted years fighting the tendency to get hung up on small annoyances and faults I spotted in other people. I easily could overlook the 90 percent positive in a situation because I was fixated on the 10 percent that wasn't.

All I accomplished with that was to cheat myself of joy, over and over.

Once I clearly understood that huge flaw in how I looked at life I wanted transformation.  

I tried to do my part: I prayed and kept reading the Bible. I read good books about managing one's thoughts and staying positive. Still, I often found myself slipping back into that weakness. 

Lesson learned: Habit is a tough task-master and will not easily give up its hold on us. 

Change came, but at a crawl 

I started small, by paying attention to how I responded to the everyday ups and downs of life. I posted sticky-note reminders around the house. Some days I made lists I could check off and reread as evidence of progress. 

Silly as it may sound, it gave me a lift to say (or whisper) "'Atta Girl" to myself at any evidences of change for the good. (It still does.)

We all need encouragement, every bit as much as a toddler who is learning to walk.  

Lesson learned: Only later did I understand that prolonged effort and what seemed to be slow progress actually helped build my faith and inner strength.  

One step at a time  

It's both encouraging and discouraging to realize there is no one perfect method to change. How could there be? Each of us is a one-of-a-kind creation. Some of us work through our challenges by talking with a friend or family member, while others thrive with the help of a pastor or professional counselor. 

What I write here is simply how it worked for me. It sounds basic because it is.

First I had to promise myself I would concentrate on what is good and hopeful and not get hung up on the "what ifs" that popped up along the way.

Over time I learned how to "switch channels" and now when I slip up, it's not long before I'm back on track. 

Other learnings as time went on 

As any parent knows, our children are not carbon copies of us, which shows up early on. Most of us aim to learn and grow and adapt as we go. We made/make mistakes because we're in training. Our overall goal is to understand and work with the children God gives us.  

Before we know it our kids are adults and they appreciate being treated as such. We often want to help and share what we learned from our own lives. Maybe they'll be glad for that, maybe not. Then what?

Lesson learned: It's good to take a step back and remind ourselves what we love and admire in them and in their choices. We need to be sure to let them know this, too. Often.  

Avoid leaping to conclusions  

Thanks to the Internet we can look up every nuance of everything, including ever little twinge or ache or upset we might encounter. Once we read all the awful outcomes this might indicate we sink into fear and alarm. All this before we go to the ER or see our doctor.

How do I know? Been there, done that.

No more. Overall I try to do what I can to stay healthy and get medical care when needed. I thank God every day for my "ordinary abilities" like being able to see and hear and all the rest. I never want to take that for granted.

Most of all, I trust that God is watching over me. 

Casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.   1 Peter 5:7

For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.   2 Timothy 1:7

Concentrating on what's good in life is not new thinking

Here are a few lines from a piece called "Salutation to the Dawn," written in about 2500 B.C., author unknown:

For yesterday is but a dream
And tomorrow only a vision,
But today well lived makes every yesterday
a dream of happiness
And every tomorrow a vision of hope.

For me, the best advice about living in the present always is this, from Psalm 118:24: 

This is the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.

"Let us ... ." We can choose to rejoice and be glad in each day and what the day brings. Whatever comes, we have the power to choose how we look at our lives.

So let's forget about the flyspecks. The ceiling is not where we live.  

Let's live in the day we're in and decide to be glad in it!

Still learning,  

Lenore 

What would it take to make you happy?

 A lot of people spend a lot of time wondering about the "If Onlys" of life:

    If only I could meet the right person and fall in love, then all my dreams would come true ...

    If only we had better communication then our relationship would be perfect ...

    If only we had a baby then our marriage would be stronger ... 

    If only we earned more money ...

    If only we had a bigger/newer/nicer house in a better neighborhood, then life would be perfect ...

    If only our children were through school and had good jobs and were married to the right people then I could stop worrying about them ...

     If only I had the body I used to have ...  

    If only growing older weren't so scary ...

    If only ... then ...

    If only ...

    If ...

There's a term for that: "Mythical thinking"

That's how some mental health professionals label it. Mythical thinking keeps us dreaming of a place where everyone and everything is--or could be--perfect.  

Here's the problem. When we spend too much time daydreaming about Make Believe Land it's as if we put on blinders that shut out the sweet reality of our lives:

• The beauty all around us, God's intricate creation.  
• The small, kind gestures of people in our lives. (Like the stranger who held open the heavy door when we were balancing shopping bags.)
• The fun of watching our children grow into themselves, little by little over the years. 

You and I weren't born wearing blinders

We pick them and put them on all by ourselves.

It can start with spending too much time reading other people's posts on the Internet, the ones that show their "perfect lives."  

In the blink of an eye, joy flies out the window. 

The thought and energy we invest on what could be/should be better takes us out of the day we're living. We risk becoming what I heard described years ago as, "Living a life fenced in on all four sides by the perpendicular pronoun, 'I.'"

That can blind us to God's daily blessings to us, large and small. We miss out on the joy of them and likely won't even think to say, "Thank you, Lord."

When we fixate on ourselves and our lives we miss a lot. We forget to encourage people around us with smiles and a few good words, such as: "Thanks!" "Good for you!" "I'm so proud of you!"

Some of us are thinking, Yes, but this is me and I don't know how to change. What am I supposed to do about that?

First comes being willing to be willing to change. With choosing to live in the now and to love in the now.  

How do I start?

We always choose the outlook we put on. What God said to the Israelites applies to us, too:

I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live.   Deuteronomy 30:19  

Any time at all we can ask for help from the One who never takes His loving eyes off us:

God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.  Psalm 46:1   

Any time our past failings threaten to overwhelm us, the One who makes all things new is waiting: 

If anyone is in Christ he (or she) is a new creation; the old has passed away; behold, the new has come.   2 Corinthians 5:17   

What does it mean to be "in Christ?"

There's no big list of requirements here. When we trust in Jesus Christ as our Savior and aim to live by that faith, we are "in Christ." 

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him.    John 3:16-17  

That's the starting place and the ending place. 

So how can one be happy, whatever comes? 

Choose life! Choose to be alive in the moment and to see all the ways God has been--and is--blessing you. 

Choose to be in Christ and know true inner peace. Nothing and no one else can bring deep-down joy that fills in your empty places. 

This is not me, preaching to you. This is me sharing what countless millions of us over the centuries know to be true.

God bless you, my invisible reader friend,

Lenore

 

 

Here's the simple secret to having only good days

That sounds impossible, doesn't it?  

I used to think so, too. Then one day what I considered an inconvenience turned out to be pure blessing.     

There I was, stuck in a line of shoppers waiting to check out at a local warehouse store. As usual, the place teemed with shoppers. Most of us were scowling and fidgety, checking our phones as we remained parked in line.

Not the petite older woman ahead of me. She seemed to have all the time in the world and looked around with a half-smile, as if she were slightly amused. 

Finally she reached the checkout stand and the checker suppressed a yawn before saying, "Hello! Hope you're in the middle of a good day."

She smiled, then said, "Yes, of course I'm having a good day. I always have a good day."

"Really! How do you manage that?"

"Oh, it's easy. I decided a long time ago that I was done with having bad days. They're nothing more than a huge waste of time.

"I told myself that from then on I would have only good days--and I do, I really do. It took a little practice but now I refuse to get upset, no matter what happens."

The checker looked a bit flummoxed at that, but then said, "Um, that's great. You make it sound really simple."

"Well, I look at it this way: I'm the one in one in charge of my mind, nobody else."

As she put away her wallet and prepared to walk away she said, "I'm not handing that control over to anyone else."

She pointed upward

"Besides," she said, "I know who's watching over me, so I just figure one way or another, whatever happens HE will make everything work out okay." 

By then all three of us were smiling.

The checker said, "Thanks, I needed that reminder today. When I get uptight I make myself take a few deep breaths. Then I shrug my shoulders a few times and try to relax."     

As the little lady started to walk away, the checker said, "I like your way better. You decide beforehand your day will be good. I think I'll try that myself."

Our "teacher" flashed a parting smile and said, "You do that! Bet you'll be glad you did!"

I watched her while waiting for the checker to finish my order 

She looked to be an oasis of serenity as she strolled through the crowd of hurrying people, many of them texting or talking on their phones while shushing their kids. 

Her body language communicated that she possessed what I wanted for myself: A calm spirit. Inner peace. Smiles instead of frowns.

As I walked to my car I knew I would remember that encounter. My fellow shopper reminded me of what I had believed all my life, that yes, God is still in control and yes, I do have a will and and I choose how I look at life.

Before I even drove home I promised myself I would follow her example--and why couldn't I? She obviously drew her strength from the same Power Source I relied on, the One who never fails us. 

I stuck with that resolution and began learning all over again to remember that each day is a gift from God. My call is to regard every day as a good day even before I began it.

She was right. I like this way much better, too.

Strength for the journey, especially on those "Who cares?" days

The Bible is filled with verses we can use as hand-holds whenever the climb feels too steep. Verses such as these: 

This is the day the Lord has made; We will rejoice and be glad in it.  Psalm 118:24  

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God.   Philippians 4:6

"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid."   John 14:27

"I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world."   John 16:33

Growth can take awhile

For me it often feels like a two steps forward, one step back process. I came to understand that's okay because I still move one step closer to my goal.

I have learned over time that my nameless friend spoke deep truth that day. It makes all the difference to decide beforehand that our day(s) will be good  That simple move changes us, changes how we see ourselves and our life situation.

Inevitably, how we relate to the people around us changes, too--and that can bring the sweetest reward of all. Every day of every year.

Blessings to you and yours,

Lenore

Do You Want a Better Tomorrow? Start Here

It's surprising, but the true basics of making life better often sound too simple.  

I found that to be true back when I was a young mother trying to hold it all together.

No matter how hectic the day, I never missed one syndicated column in our daily newspaper: "The Worry Clinic," written by a Dr. George Crane.

All I knew about "Dr. Crane" was what the tiny blurb at the bottom stated, that he was a licensed, professional counselor. But I liked his column because he mostly avoided psychiatric terminology and spoke plain English. I didn't always agree with him but often I found insights and ideas I hadn't thought about.  

When I stumbled across a reprint of his column it felt like finding a lost friend

While searching for something else on Google, Dr. Crane's piece popped up. Immediately my mind flashed back to the first time I read these same words in our newspaper, then reread them. I clipped his column and taped it to a cupboard door.

After that I read it at least once a day, always asking God to help me stick with it.

One day at a time . . . Soon I noticed myself feeling more calm, more settled. More positive about my life, even though our family hubbub went on as usual.

Time hasn't changed my opinion that this wisdom still rings true

This is said to be an exact reprint of Dr. Crane's original piece, penned over a century ago. (Because of continuing requests it reappeared in his column periodically over the years. )

  JUST FOR TODAY

Here are ten resolutions to make when you awake in the morning.

They are Just for One Day. Think of them not as a life task but as a day’s work.

These things will give you pleasure. Yet they require will power. You don’t need resolutions to do what is easy.

1. Just for Today, I will try to live through this day only, and not tackle my whole life-problem at once. I can do some things for twelve hours that would appall me if I felt I had to keep them up for a lifetime.

2. Just for Today, I will be Happy. This assumes that what Abraham Lincoln said is true, that “most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.” Happiness is from Within; it is not a matter of Externals.

3. Just for Today, I will Adjust myself to what Is, and not try to Adjust everything to my own desires. I will take my family, my business, and my luck as they come, and fit myself to them.

4. Just for Today, I will take care of my Body. I will exercise it, care for it, and nourish it, and not abuse it nor neglect it; so that it will be a perfect machine for my will.

5. Just for Today, I will try to strengthen my mind, I will study. I will learn something useful, I will not be a mental loafer all day. I will read something that requires effort, thought and concentration.

6. Just for Today, I will exercise my Soul. In three ways, to wit:

    (a) I will do somebody a good turn and not get found out. If anybody knows of it, it will not count.

    (b) I will do at least two things I don’t want to do, as William James suggests, just for exercise.

    (c) I will not show anyone that my feelings are hurt. They may be hurt, but Today I will not show it.

7. Just for To-day, I will be agreeable. I will look as well as I can, dress as becomingly as possible,  talk low, act courteously, be liberal with flattery, criticize not one bit  nor find fault with anything, and not try to regulate nor improve anybody.

8. Just for Today, I will have a Programme. I will write down just what I expect to do every hour. I may not follow it exactly, but I’ll have it. It will save me from the two pests, Hurry and Indecision.

9. Just for Today, I will have a quiet half hour, all by myself, and relax. During this half hour, some time, I will think of God, so as to get a little more perspective to my life.

10. Just for Today, I will be Unafraid. Especially I will not be afraid to be Happy, to enjoy what is Beautiful, to love and to believe that those I love love me.

                                                       (Written by Dr. George Crane in 1921)

If I said I ever mastered this list I would be lying

It still provides a checklist of how I want to live and look at life.

I suspect I'm not the only person who feels this way. As a Christian, I recognized it echoed Psalm 118:24:

This is the day that the Lord has made;

let us rejoice and be glad in it. 

At any age, any stage of life, we start with rejoicing and deciding to be glad for the blessing of each day. If we add in Dr. Crane's principles, one by one, our tomorrows can't help being happier.

Working on it, too,

Lenore