A WOMAN'S VIEW ~ Lenore Buth

Here's how to put some life back in your life

We've all been there, in one of those times when our life feels as flat as a soda that's lost its fizz.

The dark mood hangs on, even though nothing in our lives has changed. Our "glass" is as full today as it was yesterday. Last week. Last month.

Yet we see emptiness, not fullness.

That's because we call it as we see it at the moment, not as it is.

It's not helpful that we may do that with our family members and friends, too. We become blind to their good points and see only their faults.

We look at our lives and say, "Well, nobody's life is perfect, but . . ."

That little voice inside asks, Couldn't my life be a bit, um, more? Couldn't that other person change just a little bit? If only . . .

Trust me, it's risky to hang around too long in the land of "If only."

My friend, Ginny, never goes there. She has a pile of problems, but you'd never guess. Ask her how she's doing and she usually replies, "Great! If my life got any better, I couldn't stand it!"

Ask her to elaborate and she'll say, "Well, I'm still breathing in and out. I can get around on my own steam and my mind still works. I can see, even if I do need Coke-bottle eyeglasses to do it. I have a roof over my head and I eat pretty regularly. I'm part of a church family, where we love the Lord and we love each other. Best of all, I know Jesus loves me and watches over me, so I am rich." 

It took me awhile to understand that every time Ginny repeats all the reasons she has to be thankful it reinforces in her mind that she's blessed and shifts her thinking to what's good and right and true.

Does that sounds too simple? Most great truths are.

What if you and I counted our blessings not just on Thanksgiving, but every day of the year?

Suppose we gave up harping on what's wrong and bemoaning what's missing and deliberately focused on what's good.

Picture starting each day with, "Thank you, Lord, for this day and for every blessing. Thank you for promising to be with me every minute. Guide me and use me, I pray."

Think how it could affect our marriages, our family relationships and friendships.

Researchers say don't stop there

Don't take my word for it. A Texas Tech University study proved the value of counting our blessings and then counting them again. They divided study participants into two groups with similar life situations. 

That simple practice made a huge difference. The folks who frequently and deliberately took time to re-appreciate the good in their lives scored themselves as happier than those who didn't.

Researchers concluded that counting our blessings--over and over--reminds us of their value and helps us stay contented.

As the song says,

"Count your blessings, name them one by one . . .

"And it will surprise you what the Lord has done."

Our perception of life depends on where we look.

Most of all it helps if we take our eyes off the gifts and focus on the Giver. He's the real source of life in our life.

Here are some verses to help us get us started.

The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song.     Psalm 28:7

So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live in him, rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught and overflowing with thankfulness.                                         --Colossians 2:6-7

Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.                      --1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

Why not give it a try? 

This Thanksgiving and every day may you have blessings too numerous to count--and eyes to see them!

Wishing you joy,

Lenore

Three simple steps to living more happily

Life is a continuous learning channel, have you noticed?

By now I know that some "little" things can make big changes in our lives. Here are three:

1.    Get real.

2.    Get focused.

3.    Get thankful.

Curious? Read on.

1.  Get real

My husband is great, truly. That doesn't mean we're always on the same wave length. Or that we never talk past each other.

Take the day I gave one of those "poor little me" remarks and he replied, "You're only disappointed because you expected me to do that and I didn't. But you never asked or even hinted. How was I supposed to know what you wanted?"

After I got over being annoyed I realized my practical guy was right. Like many women I value spontaneous gestures and like most men, he's not wired that way.

Common sense tells me flowery gestures come cheap--and can be empty. A marriage thrives on honesty, faithfulness and loving through whatever comes. My husband lives that, so I know I'm blessed. I wouldn't trade him for anything.

Getting real means steering clear of comparisons and if onlys, too. It helps to watch out for distractions like TV shows and social media, because they can be enticing traps. We look at our imperfect lives and get depressed.

We forget that we see only what they want us to see.

2.  Get focused

Whether we realize it or not, we constantly telegraph messages by what we focus on.

I saw that played out at lunchtime one day. At the next table a dad and his little girl, maybe four years old, were having lunch. Throughout their meal Daddy talked with his daughter and she talked back, with lots of smiles and giggles. He picked her up when they finished and she buried her face in his neck.

All around them sat other couples and other families with everyone engrossed in their smart phones or electronic gadgets and grabbing bites. Nobody talked to anybody, at least not any live person sitting at the same table. 

The contrast was painful. Even more, one focus built family strength and love. The other satisfied a moment's curiosity.

This is important because what we focus on also dictates our moods and how we view our lives.

3.  Get thankful

I've learned it makes a huge difference in my day if I start by thanking God for what is and ask His strength and blessing for the day.

At bedtime I wrap up the day by thanking Him for the good stuff and saying a simple, "Thank you," to the Giver. Then I commit people I'm concerned about and whatever happens to trouble me to God. Most of the time that helps me drift off to sleep with a smile.  

As usual, the Apostle Paul sums it up, in Philippians 4:8:

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

Once we fix our thoughts on what's real and what's right in our lives and the people we love, living happily comes natural. Instead of scowling at what's wrong with the world we can fasten on God's goodness and smile.

(Besides, they say smiling helps stave off wrinkles.)

Still learning,

Lenore

Feeling insignificant? Not true! We're all links in God's chain

Do you ever feel as if people hardly notice what you do? Or say?

We all have days--or down times--now and then. That's when we remind ourselves what we know is true. God created us

Have you ever noticed how each link in a chain needs the others or else it can extend no farther than its own length?

It's an imperfect comparison, but God links us to the people around us, too. In ways we may never know, He uses us in the lives of others to carry out His purposes. 

We have no need to understand how for that to be true. 

All we need to do is trust and pray, then leave the specifics to Him.

Looking at one "chain" through the wide-angle lens of time

In 1824 an ordinary man, Edward Kimball, felt "someone" should start a Sunday school class for boys in a poor neighborhood of Boston.

No one else seemed interested, so even though he didn't view himself as qualified, Kimball took on the task. At first he felt clumsy in his teaching of the Bible, but young men started coming.

An 18-year old shoe clerk attended and came to faith in Jesus Christ as Savior. His name was Dwight L. Moody.

Not long after, D. L. Moody moved to Chicago and established a successful shoe business. Later, he started a Sunday school class, as well. Over time, weekly attendance grew to 1500.

Even though Moody was poorly educated, he felt called to preach the Gospel. Before long, wherever Moody went, huge crowds turned out to hear him.

When Moody spoke in Great Britain, one who came was a pastor: F. B. Meyer.

Meyer went home a changed man, with a new view of the Christian faith. He altered his preaching style and soon Meyer, too, began to draw crowds.

Eventually Meyer came to the U. S. to preach and one who heard him was another preacher: J. Wilbur Chapman.

Chapman decided to become an evangelist and went from city to city. His audiences grew and soon he needed an assistant.

The young helper Chapman hired was a baseball player, Billy Sunday.

After awhile, Billy Sunday became an evangelist, too, and preached in the South. He held prayer meetings and people came. In 1894 he held a prayer meeting in North Carolina. 

One who attended his North Carolina prayer meetings and came to faith was Mordecai Ham. He resolved somehow he would reach people for Jesus. Ham, too, began preaching the Gospel throughout the rural areas of North Carolina.

In 1934 a 16-year old farm boy with nothing to do came to one of Ham's revival meetings.

That young man's name? Billy Graham.

 

We live our todays, but God sees time from the beginning to the end

God used each of these "ordinary" men to impact countless lives. For eternity.

They were links in His chain, even though they had no idea that was true.

He uses us, too, although we may not see how. You and I may think what we do for the Lord is small and insignificant. But there's no telling what GOD will do with our humble efforts.

So if today you're dragging and feel you have nothing to offer, no place, no purpose, take heart.

If you believe in Jesus as your Savior you can know for sure, that God IS using you.

Right now.

For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith--and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God--not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.                                          --Ephesians 2:8-10  NIV

Read that last sentence again and let it sink in to your heart and your mind.

". . . prepared in advance for us to do."

All we need to do is live our lives, free of anxiety about figuring out what we should be doing for Him. God's got it all covered, so be at peace. 

Growing, too,

Lenore

Don't get stuck in being a "Beige Lady"--or a "Beige Man"

Maybe you're wondering what the color beige has to do with anything.

So did I the first time I heard that description. Our engaging conference speaker--sorry, can't remember her name--had us laughing. And sometimes squirming.

According to my scribbled notes, here's the gist of what she said:    

"My friends, I'm here to say, 'Please don't go through life as a Beige Lady! Or a Beige Man!'

"Now don't get me wrong, most Beige Ladies and Men are wonderful people. 

"They often work behind the scenes and they're very agreeable, so everyone likes them. What they don't do is speak up when there's a difference of opinion. You see, Beige Ladies--and Beige Men--don't like to make waves. 

"What's wrong with being agreeable?

"Not a thing. The problem is, Beige Individuals, as nice and willing and dedicated as they may be, seldom change the world.

"That's a waste. Jesus told us to be salt and light, to 'season' the world we live in, and shine His light in the darkness around us.  

"Salt inevitably affects the flavor of a food and even one lighted match sheds light into a dark place.

"God put us here to make a difference, right where we are

"Not by being loud or strident, but by being strong and at the same time, being winsome and considerate. At home, in our marriage and family. Out there, in our church and community.

"Jesus told us to be true to what we believe. But be forewarned, this may cost us, especially if we differ from prevailing opinion.

"That can make it feel safer to be a Beige Lady or a Beige Man and keep our mouths shut, just smile and blend in with the crowd. Yet God put us here to live out out Christ's purpose for us.

"Remember Ephesians 2:10? This verse says it all:

'For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.' -ESV

"My friends, God did not create us to be 'Beige People!' Like Queen Esther in the Bible, you and I were born for such a time as this. To change our world, to be salt, to be light. Now, let's get going!"

Immediately, the entire room was clapping and cheering. From then on, at every break people discussed what she said.   

The hard stuff came at home, wondering how could I "change the world?"

Our speaker told us to start where we are and I set out to do that, nibbling off bits and pieces. One big discovery was the difference it makes to start my days right. How to do it? 

1. First thing in the morning, decide to be cheerful, even when life feels like one tough, dreary slog.  Better yet, repeat this verse out loud:
   This is the day the Lord has made; We will rejoice and be glad in it.                                           --Psalm 118:24  -NKJV
   
   
2. Ignore the lousy mood(s) of people around you. Choose to respond with love and kindness instead of anger.
   A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.      --Proverbs 15:1 -NIV
   
   
3. Pray for wisdom and strength beyond what you feel at the moment. 
   So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.     --Isaiah 41:10  -NIV
   
   
4. Whether it's cultivating a happy home or daring to speak up when we feel outnumbered, our ever-present Helper is at our side.
   In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness.  --Romans 8:26  -NIV
   
   
5. Expect to be changed--little by little--for the better. 
   But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.   --Galatians 5:22  -NIV

What matters most is what we live out

Most of us know by now that words are cheap and actions carry way more weight with both children and adults.

The most effective way to influence our world is not by impressing people.  Rather, it's about following Christ's example. Always, we rely on Him for strength and courage. 

Meanwhile, we keep our eyes open for ways we can season the world around us with love and hope and faith. 

This is not a slam on the color beige

As our speaker said, you and I were created to be more and do more than simply be nice and blend in. 

Maybe that's easier than we think. We're mistaken if we think it's about our own strength and our own noteworthy accomplishments.

Rather, it's all about Jesus. He's the never-fail, always-with-us Light and power source and He changes us from the inside out. (Will we fail sometimes? Of course, because we're human. But in Jesus we're forgiven and free to start over.)

The bottom line for you and me as Christians: We can stop struggling to measure up and just relax in Jesus' love and grace.

Our part is to go about our daily lives and let His light shine through us. The rest is up to Him.  

Rejoicing, too, 

Lenore

 

Here's the secret to having only good days

Have you ever wondered how to guarantee every day is a good day?

That sounds impossible, doesn't it? Apparently not, according to a woman in the long checkout line at a warehouse store.   

As usual, the place teemed with shoppers, most of us scowling and fidgety and checking our phones as we remained parked in line.

Not the woman ahead of me. She seemed to have all the time in the world and looked around with a half-smile, as if slightly amused. 

When at last she reached the checkout stand, the tired checker asked, "Well, how are you doing? Hope you're in the middle of a good day."

She smiled, then said, "Yes, of course I'm having a good day. I always have a good day."

"How do you manage that?"

"Oh, it's easy," she said. "I decided a long time ago that I was done with having bad days because they're a huge waste of time.

"I resolved that from then on I would have only good days--and I do, I really do. Now, no matter what happens, I refuse to get upset."

The nice guy at the cash register looked a bit flummoxed at that, but after awhile he said, "Um, that's great. You make it sound really simple."

She smiled a wide smile and said, "Well, I look at it this way: I'm the one in one in charge of my mind, nobody else. I'm not handing that over to anyone else."

She pointed upward

"Besides, I know who's watching over me, so I just hang loose. I figure one way or another, whatever happens He'll make everything work out okay." 

By then all three of us were smiling.

The checker said, "Thanks for the reminder. I needed that today. Usually when I feel the tension rising I take a few deep breaths. Then I shrug my shoulders and let it go. Life's too short to get tied up in knots."

As the woman started to walk away, the checker said, "I like your way better. You decide beforehand your day will be good. I think I'll try that myself."

Her eyes twinkling, she said, "You do that. You'll be surprised how well it works!"

Obviously, she did more than speak pretty words

I watched that her walk away with unhurried pace. She seemed like an oasis of serenity, especially because she was surrounded by crowds of people texting and talking on their phones and shushing their kids.  

If her body language meant anything, she possessed what I want for myself: A calm spirit. Inner peace. Smiles instead of frowns.

So I've resolved to borrow her strategy. After all, she draws her strength from the same Power Source I rely on, the One who never fails us. 

Note to self:

From now on I will regard every day as a good day--and remember each day is a gift from God.

How about you? 

This is the day the Lord has made; We will rejoice and be glad in it.                                                        --Psalm 118:24  NKJV

For as he thinks in his heart, so is he.     --Proverbs 23:7a  NKJV

You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you.          --Isaiah 26:3  ESV

Still learning, too,

Lenore