A WOMAN'S VIEW ~ Lenore Buth

What's your definition of having "enough" money?

If we conducted a poll it's a safe bet that a lot of people, all ages, believe the more money a person has, the happier they will be.  

Hmm. If that were true, wouldn't all the "rich and famous" folks have perfect marriages and happy, well-adjusted children?  

Every day the news reports give examples of how that is far from the truth.

Some counselors say it helps us keep on track to to ask ourselves every so often, "What do I value most? And how about my children?"

As always, it comes down to perspective

I couldn't help hearing parts of the conversation of two men in a waiting area. I still remember the main points of what they said. It went something like this.

They seemed comfortable with each other, one older man and one much younger. The younger man said, "Silvie and I met when we were full-time college students and working part-time jobs. She got her diploma a year ago and found a job that pays well, which was a godsend.

"When our daughter was born it seemed best for me to be a stay-at-home dad for awhile--and I'm loving it.

"Now I'm taking the rest of my college classes at night and online, so it will take me longer to get my degree. If you said we're broke you'd be right, but we're happy."

The older man laughed and said, "Hey, that's the way it's supposed to be when you're starting out, Kyle. How did you get so wise?"

Father knows best

Kyle took time to think, then said, "Well, a long time ago my dad gave me advice he guaranteed would help make for a happy marriage.

"He said my wife and I should always make sure we could get by on one income. That way if one of us couldn't work, we'd still have enough. Ellie and I talked about that and she said 'Okay, let's try it.'

"So that's what we're doing. We don't have a huge flat-screen TV, just the one my folks passed on when they upgraded to a bigger set. Our furniture is from Goodwill and hand-me-downs. We drive an old clunker and our cell phones are dinosaurs.

"But you know what? Neither of us would trade places with anybody. We're paying our bills and putting a few dollars into savings every month. We're working our plan and we're doing what matters to us. Our love is strong and we have each other and now, our healthy daughter too. Life is good."

As they got up to leave I heard the older man say, "You probably already know that your dad was a very wise man, my friend. And good for you, you know you are blessed. Not everyone does. "

Some of us can identify with that young dad 

My husband and I married when we were very young and crazy in love. We were so happy to be together that nothing else mattered. For years we lived pretty much a no-frills lifestyle. I wouldn't say we "lived on love," but money was tight.  

Who cared? We were together and life was good.  

In those years we discovered what's been proven true over and over: Riches have nothing to do with money. 

Earlier generations understood that

When I was a kid money was always tight, so my parents became experts in stretching it. I don't remember them complaining much. Nor do I recall them ever quoting wise words on being content, other than in family devotions. Then we might talk about Bible verses like 1 Timothy 6:8: 

And having food and clothing, with these we shall be content.   NKJV 

I didn't realize it then but Mom and Dad lived that verse most of the time. Their attitude seemed to be: "This the life God has given us, so let's make the most of it."

And they did, in simple ways. For example, one constant in my childhood was that no matter how often we moved, my dad planted seeds of blue morning glories in each yard. They twined gloriously up the clothesline poles. We always had all kinds of flowers along the yard fence, too.  

My parents trusted God to provide and He did.  

I wish I could say that I never complained, but I did, especially as a teenage girl. I wanted what "everyone else" had, knowing all the while that would never happen.  

When I look back I know we were rich in what matters most

We kids knew for sure was that our mom and dad loved each other and they loved us--even though they seldom said the words. (Neither did any other parents of that era.)

We might not like what they said but we never doubted they were speaking truth, either to us or to others.

We never wondered whether one parent or the other would walk out on us.

As always, how we think makes all the difference  

By now I've learned that life gets even better when we know we're blessed and remember to thank the Giver.  

Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever.  Psalm 118:1

With that firmly fixed in our minds, life will be good, no matter what our circumstances.

Always, true wealth is a matter of the heart. We just need to remind ourselves often of that truth--and be at peace.

Thanks be that God, the Giver of all things, has patience with his often-forgetful children. Like me.

Warmly,

Lenore  

Quick now: Are you rich or are you poor? You decide

If you won the lottery tomorrow, would you be rich?

It all depends.   

The closest I've come to real wealth came years ago at a garage sale.

Yes, a garage sale. A very unusual garage sale.

The sale date was included in a feature article about  the late "Letitia Brimley." The famously reclusive heiress had lived in a city not far from us and now her estate was to be liquidated.  

She lived alone for years and died with no heirs. Her high-value art and belongings were to be auctioned by a New York gallery. The rest would be sold at a garage sale. At her mansion. Open to the public.  

A friend known for her spirit of fun called and said, "This could be a hoot! We're 'the public,' and there's room in my van. Wanna join me?"

Well, did I ever!

"Downton Abbey," here we come

We joined a long line of cars leaving the freeway and snaked our way through a stone-pillared entrance to "Brimley Acres." 

Eventually security people flagged us to a stop. They checked driver's licenses, then handed us printed I.D. badges and catalogs and beckoned us to park along the driveway.  

As it turned out we never got inside the mansion. Muscled security guards and roving hostesses made sure of that. 

Excess on display

For the next couple of hours we tried not to gawk. Boxes and piles of stuff covered long wrap-around verandas and tables set up on the lawn. Plainly, the "priceless antiques, etc."  listed in the catalog had been removed to the New York gallery for auction.

Not to worry. A few of the catalog entries reveal why this would be no ordinary garage sale: 

• "Everyday China, (porcelain) service for 12: 35 complete sets" (A hostess explained Mrs. Brimley found it boring to eat her meals on the same china day after day.) 
• "Flatware, service for 12: Sterling silver, silver, or gold; 35 sets"

We strolled through the permitted area, stopping now and then to pick up and examine items.

Rounding another corner we found:

• Cardboard boxes, each one holding a matching set of crystal goblets and wine glasses, all types and sizes 
• Wooden crates loaded with etched crystal wine decanters and pitchers and serving dishes
• Large boxes crammed with silver gravy boats, platters, trays and sugar-and-creamer sets, many marked "Sterling"
• Cartons filled with exquisitely embroidered Irish linen tablecloths, runners, place mats and napkins 
• Flat boxes containing stacks of wrapped-in-tissue new white kid gloves in every length 
• Several lidded boxes from Paris designer shops, with layers of tissue separating never-worn silk lingerie and hosiery, with sachets 
• A number of matching sets of silver-backed combs, hairbrushes and mirrors, many monogrammed with a "B"  

So rich and yet ...

Along the fence we found a table covered with souvenir programs from Paris and Broadway shows and operas, as well as dated leather-bound photo albums.    

What appeared to be the most recent album showed Letitia Brimley, thin and frail, with straggles of white hair. She sat alone at the head of a very long, fully dressed dining table. 

Other photos showed the table set for five. Her guests turned out to be four small dogs, all wearing embroidered bibs. Two sat on dining chairs on each side of her.  

The naked loneliness on that little woman's face leaped out and tore my heart.  

I came home with new insight into the emptiness of riches

For days I pondered, was it sinful to be filthy rich? 

I spent a lot of time in the Bible and found my bearings again with verses like these.   

For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs.1 Timothy 6:10  NIV

But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world and we can take nothing out of it.1 Timothy 6:6-7  NIV

Better is a little with the fear of the Lord than great treasure and trouble with it.  Proverbs 15:16  ESV

For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.Matthew 6:21  ESV

And my God will supply every need of yours according to the riches in glory in Christ Jesus.Philippians 4:19-20  ESV

Lessons gleaned from that garage sale day

It's the love of money that's a problem, not money itself.

Keep the right perspective. The Giver comes first, not the gifts.

If God blesses us with money we can rejoice. But if we make money our treasure, we will live and die poor. 

As usual, it's all about what's in our hearts.

Still learning, always,

Lenore