This may sound a bit outlandish, but hang in there and read on. I promise there's a logical connection.
Did you ever notice how quickly we pick up on it when someone criticizes us or seems to judge us negatively?
Praise may inhabit the same sentences, but we miss that.
In one effortless leap, we pounce on the negative and camp out.
The thought lingers like pesky grains of beach sand that refuse to rub off or wash off.
I wonder what she meant by that?
How can he expect me to ...?
Who does she think she is?
We brush the offender away, but it returns in the middle of the night, unbidden.
Always, we choose what to do with it
We can keep it, nurse it and turn it into a pet.
We can blow it up until it blots out the rest of our otherwise good life.
If we take either path, this thing will grow into hardness of heart and that becomes as unyielding as a chunk of granite.
Before long we develop a worrisome habit and find intentional slights and hurts lurking in every conversation. It doesn't matter whether anyone else agrees. We know what that speaker meant.
Good advice from a wise friend for how to handle times like this
A Bible teacher once laid out some strategies about this topic to our group.
- Hold your perception up to the light and examine it as objectively as you can. Discard what you know is false.
- Pluck out any truth you find and weigh its worth. If you need to, swallow hard and face it.
- Consider carefully before you speak up, knowing you have no power to change another person's mind.
- State the facts calmly, without heat. Without argument.
- Apologize when you know you need to, even if it doesn't feel comfortable. Do it for your own clear conscience and your peace of mind.
- Decide to leave your wounded pride at the cross--and don't pick it up again.
- Pray for a heart of love toward the one(s) who hurt you.
Let's learn from the oyster
Oysters that take in pieces of grit may form pearls of incredible luster over time. Similarly, irritating experiences can produce something beautiful in us.
If we let them.
All it takes is letting go of our pain and leaving it behind at the cross. (Yes, I know that's hard.)
Listen to what Jesus told his followers in John 10:10:
"I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full."
The full life. Peace of mind and heart. Joy down deep, where it lasts and where it matters.
Speaking of Jesus ...
It's not that long since Christians all over the world celebrated Easter. Why do we mark this wonderful event every year? Here's why, in a nutshell:
Jesus came. He lived and died, really died. Three days later He burst out of his grave, fully alive, and in his human body He walked and talked to many people. He ate with His friends. By His life and death Jesus made peace between us and God. He came to make us new and set us free from the power of sin in our lives. That's what Easter is all about--and Jesus came for all people.
And that's why we can be at peace, with no need to take offense when someone else sounds critical of us. It doesn't matter and our self-esteem need not be diminished one bit. We have all we need in Jesus.
For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whosoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him. John 3:16-17 ESV
That's why we Christians rejoice over Easter.
That's why we can forgive others when they unintentionally--or even intentionally--speak thoughtless words that hurt us. In Jesus we can let it go and pay no attention..
Life is too precious to waste on hurt feelings. Let's "grow pearls" instead.
Learning, too,
Lenore
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