A WOMAN'S VIEW ~ Lenore Buth

On learning again that all we need is eyes to see what matters most

"Did you ever ... ?"

Those three words can trigger a flood of memories, can't they?

Like the time a friend asked, "Did you ever read the book of Ecclesiastes?" Out of nowhere popped up the memory of a weekend when a few Bible verses became my lifeline. 

I needed one. For no reason I could figure out, I felt I was drowning in motherhood and in danger of losing who I was forever. 

Don't get me wrong. Our life was good. My husband and I loved each other dearly. No big problems, good health, four great kids. Any fool would be thankful. 

Wouldn't they? Shouldn't they?

Still, I yearned for something, because I was tired of feeling moody and unsettled. 

All I knew for certain was I wanted to get back my usual sense of peace and well-being.  

One Friday I read a tiny newspaper announcement about a weekend workshop for women

Over lunch I told my husband, "Wish I could go. It's only an hour's drive from here, but it starts tonight." (Cue in big sigh.)

Then that terrific man I married (who wanted his happy wife back) surprised me. "Of course you should go! The girls and I will be just fine."

I hugged him and right away called the number listed. Yes, they had space. Hallelujah!

I dressed and packed in a frenzy of anticipation. I knew only that the speakers would be Christian women from a neighboring state. A few hours later I waved and blew kisses and drove away feeling giddy at the prospect of 48 hours with nobody yelling, "Mommy!"  

When I checked into the hotel I found my room and for a little while, I just basked in the quiet.  

Then I walked into a ballroom full of women I didn't know. I didn't mind because it suited me just fine to be anonymous. All I wanted was time for me and perhaps to pick up some useful tips for living.

Handouts told me the conference theme was Ecclesiastes--which I confess, I didn't know much about.

Five minutes into the first speaker's talk, I knew why I was there.  

Identifying the root of my discontent

As I listened to the speakers and read the verses I began to understand my blue mood. During the previous few months I had watched and listened to a lot of "experts" and talking heads, all enthusiastically promoting almost identical themes. Magazine articles trotted out "reinforcements" for what sounded in those day like startling findings: 

• I owed it to myself to "accomplish" something so I could be fulfilled.
• Just being a wife and mother could never satisfy my deepest needs, only waste my potential for greatness.
• Any woman who allowed a man to "dominate" her or influence her decisions was a fool--even if she thought herself blessed to be married to a good, sweet man who loved her, as I was. 

Even though I had not consciously bought into these "new" theories, that weekend I knew they had lodged insidiously within my mind and heart.

Little by little, the repetition from all sides painted my thinking in a wash of dull gray.

Learning from Solomon

Without quite being aware of it I brought that mindset to the conference. No wonder this theme verse leaped out at me: 

Yet when I surveyed all that my hands had done and what I had toiled to achieve, everything was meaningless, a chasing after the wind ...   Ecclesiastes 2:11  NIV

That first night we focused on Chapter Two, where Solomon relates his goals and dreams and also his great wealth and achievements. Yet all he felt was emptiness.

Our speaker asked us: Had we ever felt empty and as if our lives were pointless? Women all over the ballroom nodded in agreement.

I thought of all the voices telling me to look out for No. 1 and I heard Solomon's phrase drum in my mind: "chasing after the wind."

Next day's workshops looked at life, marriage and the joy of growing a family

Our leader stressed the great privilege God bestows when he entrusts us with a child.

It matters not whether we become birth parents or step-parents or whether we adopt a child. It's even true when we are rearing children in place of someone else. 

Every day moms (and dads) help shape the next generation. Every day we plant faith and values that will carry over into the lives of our children and through them, into our grandchildren and stretching into the future. 

What's more, our children are watching and listening in as we adults live our lives, picking up clues on how to do it. Like good detectives they pay as much--and maybe more--attention to our actions as they do to our words.  

That packs every minute of every day with lasting meaning and significance.

During that brief workshop the truth of that statement gently smacked me on the head and got my attention, then moved in to stay. I saw it clearly. My life had purpose and meaning, just as it was. I already lived a life that mattered.

Better one handful with tranquility than two handfuls with toil and chasing the wind.   Ecclesiastes 4:6  NIV

Simple words, yet they reminded me who I was--and who I wanted to be   

That weekend I got my right attitude back. I saw clearly the contrast between empty theories and Truth that stands the test of time. My heart danced as I thought how blessed I was to have a strong marriage and healthy children.  

I cherish the memory of that weekend when God spoke to me through the speakers and through Ecclesiastes. He replenished my spirit and got me back on track. He gave me eyes to see. 

He has made everything beautiful in its time ... I perceived that there is nothing better for them than to be joyful and to do good as long as they live; also that everyone should eat and drink and take pleasure in all [their] toil--this is God's gift to [mankind.]   Ecclesiastes 3:11a; 12-13  ESV

No longer would I look "out there" to set my standards and gauge my "fulfillment" by someone else's measuring stick.  

I drove home singing--and praying, impatient to hug my husband and daughters. After that weekend nothing changed about my life but me.

And that changed everything.

Praying you may see the value of what you do every day!

Lenore

With love to Moms: Each One a Woman of Lasting Influence

                                                                           Dear Mom,

If you're a younger mom and feel overwhelmed, this is for you.

     If your children are grown and you wonder sometimes whether you "accomplished anything" in your life, this is for you, too.

Whatever your age--or the ages of your children--you are a world-changer.

            I didn't understand that in the beginning. I wish I had.      

            Consider this a love note from one mom to another:

                        You matter--and don't you forget it!

(Dear Reader, I pray you'll be lifted and blessed by reading what's below and take it personally. Although we probably have not met, if you're a mom we already have a lot in common.  --Lenore)  

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A Woman of Lasting Influence

Every other accomplishment takes second place to being a mom.

We may find that hard to believe. In the midst of our hurry years, every day of the week we perform juggling acts that amaze no one but ourselves.

Always a new challenge.

Always the tiredness.

Sometimes you wonder if you'll ever get your life back.

Or your joy.

You will if you look deeper. And wider.

Snatch a few minutes alone and reflect on your life in Christ. Leave what troubles you at His cross. Then focus on every reason for thanks. Rejoice in your children, each one a complex bundle of strengths and challenges.

Let truth sink in deep. Your love and cheers, your sweat and your tears are helping these youngsters grow into the individuals God created them to be.

Mark this well: You're not dithering away your time. Your mothering will live on. You are rearing somebody's parent, somebody's grandparent, leaving your mark on generations yet to be born.

Influencing tomorrows you will never see.

That gives every minute lasting value.

Day after day you're rearing your children, growing a family, making a life. Refuse to discount your life's work.

You are a mother by God's design, redeemed by Jesus Christ, and led by His Spirit.

Each child is your child by God's design.

Live in the joy of knowing no one else can mother your kids or love your kids as well as you can. Wrap the gladness of what's good around you and feel the warmth of it.

You are right where you are meant to be.

The steadfast love of the LORD is from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear Him, and His righteousness to children's children.   Ps. 103:17 (ESV) 

____________________________________________

Excerpted from my book Godly Moms: Strength from the Inside Out.

Reprinted with permission from the publisher, Concordia Publishing House. Also available from the usual booksellers. 

(Short pieces that share some of what I learned along the way.)

Feeling insignificant? Not true! We're all links in God's chain

Do you ever feel as if people hardly notice what you do? Or say?

We all have days--or down times--now and then. That's when we remind ourselves what we know is true. God created us

Have you ever noticed how each link in a chain needs the others or else it can extend no farther than its own length?

It's an imperfect comparison, but God links us to the people around us, too. In ways we may never know, He uses us in the lives of others to carry out His purposes. 

We have no need to understand how for that to be true. 

All we need to do is trust and pray, then leave the specifics to Him.

Looking at one "chain" through the wide-angle lens of time

In 1824 an ordinary man, Edward Kimball, felt "someone" should start a Sunday school class for boys in a poor neighborhood of Boston.

No one else seemed interested, so even though he didn't view himself as qualified, Kimball took on the task. At first he felt clumsy in his teaching of the Bible, but young men started coming.

An 18-year old shoe clerk attended and came to faith in Jesus Christ as Savior. His name was Dwight L. Moody.

Not long after, D. L. Moody moved to Chicago and established a successful shoe business. Later, he started a Sunday school class, as well. Over time, weekly attendance grew to 1500.

Even though Moody was poorly educated, he felt called to preach the Gospel. Before long, wherever Moody went, huge crowds turned out to hear him.

When Moody spoke in Great Britain, one who came was a pastor: F. B. Meyer.

Meyer went home a changed man, with a new view of the Christian faith. He altered his preaching style and soon Meyer, too, began to draw crowds.

Eventually Meyer came to the U. S. to preach and one who heard him was another preacher: J. Wilbur Chapman.

Chapman decided to become an evangelist and went from city to city. His audiences grew and soon he needed an assistant.

The young helper Chapman hired was a baseball player, Billy Sunday.

After awhile, Billy Sunday became an evangelist, too, and preached in the South. He held prayer meetings and people came. In 1894 he held a prayer meeting in North Carolina. 

One who attended his North Carolina prayer meetings and came to faith was Mordecai Ham. He resolved somehow he would reach people for Jesus. Ham, too, began preaching the Gospel throughout the rural areas of North Carolina.

In 1934 a 16-year old farm boy with nothing to do came to one of Ham's revival meetings.

That young man's name? Billy Graham.

 

We live our todays, but God sees time from the beginning to the end

God used each of these "ordinary" men to impact countless lives. For eternity.

They were links in His chain, even though they had no idea that was true.

He uses us, too, although we may not see how. You and I may think what we do for the Lord is small and insignificant. But there's no telling what GOD will do with our humble efforts.

So if today you're dragging and feel you have nothing to offer, no place, no purpose, take heart.

If you believe in Jesus as your Savior you can know for sure, that God IS using you.

Right now.

For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith--and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God--not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.                                          --Ephesians 2:8-10  NIV

Read that last sentence again and let it sink in to your heart and your mind.

". . . prepared in advance for us to do."

All we need to do is live our lives, free of anxiety about figuring out what we should be doing for Him. God's got it all covered, so be at peace. 

Growing, too,

Lenore

What does it cost to keep us living in freedom?

It's the time of year when we celebrate the those who gave their lives so this could remain The Land of the Free.  

Most of the time we take all this for granted, as if freedom were our natural right.  

Not true. Freedom carries a terrible price tag. 

On Memorial Day we count the cost in lives. For once we take a sober look at the truth.

Every headstone represents a person who lived, someone with a family who still grieves the loss of this life.

These individuals died so you and I could walk around without fear.

Their families lost someone dear to them so our Nation's government could continue to function as it has from the beginning. Now as then, you and I are absolutely free to vote for whomever we choose as our President--and all other lawmakers--in every level of government.

Free to worship God as we choose. Free to live where we choose. Free to send our children to whatever school(s) we choose and can afford. 

Those who died to preserve these rights were--and are--heroes. They deserve the ceremonies and the flags that fly on their graves in military cemeteries all across the world. 

Ever wondered how all those flags "magically" get placed every Memorial Day?

Here in the United States credit almost always goes to local Boy Scouts and Girl Scouts and Brownie troops.

Placing flags fits right in with Scouting goals. They want to build character and help develop citizens who participate, rather than sit on the sidelines.

Scouting couldn't exist without the moms and dads who support leaders and kids in so many ways.

Kneeling at graves and placing flags can be a significant experience. For at least a little while these youngsters will think of the bravery and sacrifice of those who died.

As for the rest of us, why not speak our thanks to these young people? And their parents? And their troop leaders?

Kids need heroes. So do we all

Especially now, when cynicism is running wild among us.

Late-night comics and talking heads endlessly slice-and-dice this individual and that one, over and over. Everyone is fair game, from the President on down.

Such critics get praise for their "wit" and "remarkable insights."  

Do any of them--or do we--ever stop to think that it's a privilege--a precious gift--to be able to speak their minds? Or for us to listen to any speaker we want? Or watch any TV channel or webcast that fits our whim of the moment? Or read any newspaper or book we fancy? 

All of it without fear someone will find out and report us?

You and I did not earn these rights ourselves. They did.

Memorial Day reminds us who we are

It seems to me we value being Americans too cheaply. We are a Nation birthed out of courage by those who risked everything to bring these United States into being. 

Our founding fathers cared enough to fight for our liberty as a people.

Every individual who gave their life to preserve that liberty is proof the courage of those early patriots lives on.

Franklin D. Roosevelt, U.S. President during most of World War II, said,

"Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the assessment that something else is more important than fear."

How can you and I show courage and be a blessing now?  

We can focus on what's right and good. We can speak well of our Nation and its leaders. We can stand for what's true and honorable in whom and what we applaud and reject what is not. 

Like the Scouts, we can participate, rather than sit on the sidelines and carp.

That may include teaching the great old patriotic songs and poems--and the Pledge of Allegiance--to our children and grandchildren. (Never assume they automatically learn them in school.)

Why would I say that? Because I sing with a chorus and we almost always close with a patriotic song such as "God Bless America," or "The National Anthem." We see the same thing every time we perform. When invited to sing along, most adults--especially seniors--know every word.  

Children, teens and many young adults usually remain silent. If asked why, they answer, "Because I don't know the words."

What more can we do to be a blessing?

When we spot a veteran or a current member of the Armed Forces, we can say, "Thank you for your service and for keeping our country free!"

Most of all, we can pray for our leaders and affirm what is good.  

I urge, then, first of all, that requests, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for everyone--for kings and all those in authority, that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness. This is good, and pleases God our Savior, who wants all men to be saved and to come to a knowledge of the truth.  --1 Timothy 2:1-4  NIV

Whatever our personal life challenges may be, we can pray for guidance and strength and trust God's goodness.

Good times or hard, God is with us

We can take God's word to His people--and us--seriously, as recorded in Joshua 1:9. 

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." NIV

Surely God's hand of blessing has been on these United States from the beginning. We do well to remember that, especially in this time when our nation seems so divided from within while dangers lurks on all sides.

Even as we honor those who gave their lives to keep these United States free, we thank God for His goodness.

If we keep that mindset and profess the faith and confidence within us, we will be remembered as people who made our own small world a better place, just by being alive.

God bless America!

Lenore 

Could you be packed and ready to fly to Acapulco tomorrow?

I don't know about you, but I'm longing for lazy time in the sun, looking out at a deep blue ocean, with palm trees and endless sun...

Some place like Acapulco, for instance. 

I hadn't thought much about Acapulco before the January day I heard a convention speaker describe it in Chamber-of-Commerce terms.

All I knew about him was his name: Zig Ziglar. 

Once he took the podium he spun some country stories, his southern accent coming through. the stories never stopped.  

After awhile he looked out over his audience, smiling and with his eyes twinkling and asked: 

"How many of you think you're overworked and too stressed to take time off to relax?"

Most of us in that large auditorium raised our hands.

"Well, how about a package deal that includes two round-trip plane tickets, plus vouchers for a week at a plush oceanside resort, all meals and tips included.

"Now, I know you're overworked and too stressed to take time off to relax . . . (He grinned and paused for what seemed a long time.) "But how many of you think you could be at the airport, checked in and ready to fly to Acapulco by 2 o'clock tomorrow afternoon? Raise your hands, please."  

Laughter. Cheers. Everyone waving their raised hands.  

Zig waited for us to quiet down

Then he said in a soft voice, "Well, if you could have been packed and ready to go to Acapulco by tomorrow at 2, why can't you manage to take a weekend off with your spouse or your whole family?

"I'll bet there's a nice motel with an indoor swimming pool not too far from where you live. 

"The point is  each of us somehow manages to do what we really think is important to do. 

"And nothing is more important than your marriage and your family!

"Don't put the people you love last on your To Do list! When your personal life is happy you'll be more productive in every other area of your life--and less stressed, too."

Are you feeling stressed and overworked? 

All of us wonder sometimes How will I make it through the day?

It's true for moms. And dads. For the married and the single. For old and young. For people who struggle from paycheck to paycheck and for those who don't.  

Even if we're well-adjusted.

Even when we're happily married and love our children to pieces.

Even though we're strong Christians. 

Sometimes, for no particular reason, life simply feels overwhelming.

Times like that we dream of escape--to Acapulco, or any place, really, where we can be calm and quiet, with time to think and no pressure.

But we stay

We stay because we love our spouse and our children.

We stay because we have something to do that matters.

We stay because we know deep down we're right where we need to be.

And because it's the way to peace in our hearts.

So we take a deep breath and ask God to renew our strength and our joy--and maybe our love.

And we remember again what the writer of Ecclesiastes said in chapter 4:6:

Better one handful with tranquillity than two handfuls with toil and chasing after the wind.    --Ecclesiastes 4:6  (NIV)

Besides . . . 

A happy heart makes the face cheerful, but heartache crushes the spirit.    -- Proverbs 15:13  (NIV)

Even in Acapulco. 

 

Growing, too,

Lenore