A WOMAN'S VIEW ~ Lenore Buth

How to put more joy in your marriage

Just as Rome wasn't built in a day or two, neither is a marriage.

Every marriage partner longs to have a happy marriage. But how?     

When my husband and I married we were crazy in love and we trusted God, so it seemed logical to expect that every day would be pure joy. After all, what more could it take? 

Then came babies. 

And bills.

And life.

It shouldn't have surprised us that we two opposite personality types experienced occasional times of strain.  

Yet, somehow they did.     

Blame it on those pesky dailies of life

We loved each other and our children dearly and yet ....

Over time the daily grind seemed to be grinding me down. Eventually I lapsed into "Dear Abby" wails:

• "We don't communicate. You never talk to me anymore."
• "You never listen to anything I say. You nod your head, but you tune me out."
• "We never go anywhere alone. We need a regular date night."

Etc. (Don't miss how often I said "never." Not true, of course.)

My agreeable husband would say, "Sure," and we'd try this idea and then that. For a day or a week or a month.

Then we would settle back into our old routine.

A graph of our marriage would have shown off-the-chart happiness highs, as well as low times of feeling distant. We knew real life gets in the way of living out an all-smiles romance movie life. All along we both knew our marriage was above-average good. 

Nevertheless, I couldn't help longing for a bit more, um, excitement. (Did I mention I'm a romantic?)

To be clear, I never wanted out of my marriage. I guess I just expected it to fill my every need.

Finding out it's not about me

I got my eyes opened in a women's Bible study group. We always began by sharing our needs and praying for each other, feeling safe because every week we all pledged to maintain confidentiality.

One day "Sue" tearfully voiced her heartache about struggles in her marriage. 

Then "Laura," an older woman, said, "Don't give up. I know from experience that God can make all things new. For years my husband and I had a solid, ho-hum marriage, but I wanted more. Over time God transformed our marriage." 

By then the room was so still we could hear our breathing.

"I always knew God could make our marriage better--if He chose--so every day I prayed. And prayed. And kept imploring God to change the man I married and make him the husband of my dreams.

"One day I heard the Lord's still, small voice within me asking, 'What about you?'

"All at once I felt tears running down my cheeks

"I can't say how, but right away I understood I had become way too self-absorbed. I fell into the habit of overlooking my husband's many good qualities and fastening only on what I needed. That day I confessed to God how I wasted months, even years, feeling sorry for myself. 

"Finally I prayed, 'Thank you, Lord, for my husband, who loves me. Please make me the wife he needs me to be.' 

"This became my daily prayer."

Laura went on, "When my husband came home from work he had a different wife. One who grabbed him and told him over and over how much she loved him.  

 "I didn't stop there. I made it a habit to tell him at least once a day that I appreciated him. Instead of griping I praised the good in him. It wasn't long before he responded by becoming more loving and thoughtful toward me, too. 

"It wasn't me, it was God at work in our marriage--and in me. 

"Now I can honestly say I have the marriage I always wanted and we've never been happier together."

Because one woman risked being honest and sharing her story of God's faithfulness, none of us left the same as we were when we came. In the weeks that followed other women told their stories of how God changed them--and their marriages. 

By no coincidence we were studying Matthew 7

The day when Laura opened up I drove home with verse 7 drumming in my mind:

(Jesus said) "Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?"

I couldn't hide from the truth: I had been living with a plank in my eye. 

That day I resolved to follow my friend's example and prayed that same prayer. 

I confess it felt scary, as if I would "lose" something, maybe become a doormat.

That never happened. Instead my husband's and my marriage relationship became richer and we grew closer. Deeper. Each of us knew the peace and confidence that grew out of being married to our best friend and supporter. 

It's all about loving your neighbor

Jesus said in Mark 12:30-31:

"Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength ... The second is this: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no commandment greater than these."  NIV

Remember, there's no closer "neighbor" than your spouse. 

Jesus also said in Luke 6:31: 

"Do to others as you would have them do to you."  NIV

That sounds simple, doesn't it? But it does not imply living our faith at home is easy.

How could it be? Our society is me-centered and so is our human nature. By contrast, marriage involves two, plus their children.

Christian living and loving means putting the other(s) first. The mystery in marriage is that this kind of love does not diminish oneself--or each other. Rather, it frees each one to blossom and grow stronger.  

Consider it the way to live, because it does indeed put more joy into our lives.

Let's do it, friends! 

Lenore

Proven Pointers for Strengthening Your Marriage

"And they lived happily ever after..."

That's what everyone is looking for, isn't it?

Somehow the sound of that phrase causes us to think there's a kind of magic that settles like morning dew upon the woman and man who fall in love and promise to love each other for life. Surely this means life will be bliss, day after day.

Doesn't it?   

Well, not quite. Not for two human beings, imperfect as we all are. Besides, no one is happy, happy, happy without fail, 24/7.

What is true is that like every other living thing, even the best marriage takes T.L.C. Regularly. That is, both marriage partners nurture and look out for each other.

For life.

"Love," by itself, is not enough

I'm not a professional, but a lot of Christian counselors tell us there is a secret to growing a strong marriage and it's pretty clear-cut. Here's the formula:

We before You

You before Me.

We:  What nurtures and strengthens our marriage comes first, before either partner's personal desires. 

You: Each of us places the other's needs and wants ahead of having it our way. (If that sounds belittling, think how sweet life could be if both partners lived this way.)

Me:  What I want, what I need to be happy, the way I want things to be ranks last. 

The problem is that on the inside we're all two-year olds yelling, "I want it my way!" 

Never think this means personal needs and wants don't matter. The question is, what matters most right now? And what helps build strength into our marriage relationship?

Once you have clear answers to those questions, you know how to weigh your choices. 

Don't be threatened when one or the other's expectations seem to change a bit here and there over time. It's not just young children who have "stages".

What matters is that your sense of oneness stays alive--and grows stronger. 

Keep first things first

When both husband and wife aim to live this out they send each other a secret message: "I love you. You and what you need from our marriage comes first with me." 

All this echoes Philippians 2:4:

Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.

Real life calls for give-and-take. Inevitably, some days it will be all about one and other days it will be all about the other. 

That's life. For everyone.  

Add in new joys and challenges

Children bring blessings with them, but they interrupt time together for Mom and Dad. This calls for ingenuity to make sure you stay connected as a couple.

Why bother? Because the two of you nurturing your relationship is good for your children, too.

Whether you realize it or not, your darlings are watching how you interact with each other. They smile and feel all warm inside when they see Dad pat Mom on the butt, or notice how Mommy gives Daddy that "special smile." 

Your strong marriage gives your kids a sense of security. They feel reassured they don't need to worry, even if their best friend's parents just split up.    

As you two give each other the gift of love you also give your children the gift of inner stability.

How can a couple keep love alive?

Make it a habit to find your own way to snatch some time for the two of you every day, like after work. Be prepared, perhaps by keeping a special snack drawer and healthy veggies in the fridge. Hungry youngsters well may consider this time a treat if you allow them to watch special programs or the like. 

This frees up a bit of time when Mom and Dad adjourn to a quiet corner--even in the same room--where you can reconnect and talk with fewer interruptions. 

Be creative. It's all about finding what works for you.

First, last and always, talk. Talk. Talk. And listen.

Speak words of love, too

Just hearing the words sincerely spoken helps turn attention off ourselves and back to building strength into the marriage. When one or the other has had "one of those days," it will lift both your spirits as you gently mention qualities you see in them and truly admire.  

Many counselors advise couples to hold hands, which means facing each other eye-to-eye--even when you are not in the mood. Even if it feels forced, just this skin-to-skin contact reminds you that underneath it all, you two are the same people who breathlessly promised to love each other forever.

Day after day, each one's words matter and have a lasting effect on both.

Years ago the poet Ogden Nash laid out his own catchy formula for husbands and wives who want to stay married:

To keep your marriage brimming
With love in the loving cup,
Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
Whenever you're right, shut up.

Again and again we will fail

But we keep trying. When we slip up, we forgive each other--and ourselves. That's way better than nursing hurt feelings and growing bitter. 

It is achingly lonely to be stuck on a cold hill of injured pride.  

Could it ever be too late to make a new beginning? Almost never, except when there's abuse.  

Even if only one partner changes--and perseveres--the effect can be positive. Healing can begin, something to build on.

A husband and wife who seek to live out these principles develop an enduring bond. Each one feels safe with the other. Trust grows and becomes a firm foundation. Love grows and blooms. 

This translates into a marriage that lasts.

Enduring wisdom to live by

The Apostle Paul tells us how to live as Christians and it also describes how to keep a marriage strong. Here is Philippians 2:2-5, as it reads in the J.B. Phillips Paraphrase: 

Live together in harmony, live together in love, as though you had only one mind and one spirit between you.

Never act from motives of rivalry or personal vanity, but in humility think more of each other than you do of yourselves.

None of you should think only of his own affairs, but should learn to see things from other people's point of view.

Let Christ Jesus be your example as to what your attitude should be.

Whether married or single, here's to living strong in Jesus! 

May your heart be filled with His love and peace and joy,

Lenore

What does it take to be a good parent?

Let's start with the ever-changing definition of dads 

It wasn't so long ago that a man who treated his wife and kids well and brought home a regular paycheck would be admired. If he took an interest in his children, so much the better.

Back then, maybe a father read to his kids and attended his children's ball games and school programs, maybe not. If he said, "Sorry, I'm just too tired from work," his family gave him no static.  

Instead, Mom and the kids would be sympathetic. "Oh, poor Dad, you worked so hard all day. No wonder you're worn out."

From earliest times a Christian wife felt doubly blessed if her husband loved Jesus and went to church with the family.

He who fears the LORD has a secure fortress, and for his children it will be a refuge.  Proverbs 14:26  NIV 

Then and now

Currently, not so many people agree with that approach. Today, most moms expect (or at least, hope) Dad will be on hand for kid things. After all, didn't they agree they would be equal partners in rearing their children?

Life often blocks good intentions, leaving Mom (or Dad) to fly solo. The parent who feels stuck with filling in may say nothing, just paste on a tight smile and take over.  

Next time this couple sees each other, tension may crackle the air. One says the other has not lived up to expectations and gets a response like, "Well, what about the time you ... ?"  

Most couples who've logged a few years of marriage learn a better way and likely would say something like this:  

Give up trying to prove who's more "right." When one "wins," both of you lose.

Who comes first?

Early on, a wise older friend gave my husband and me good advice. "Don't get so much into your role as parents that you have nothing left between you once your children are wrapped up in their own lives."  

Over time we better understood the strength of that tip. As our four children discovered they "needed" this or that and pleaded their cases with us, we two each needed an ally! Our kids discovered it was pointless to try to play one parent against the other.

Standing together also reminded us we were a couple. A team. We loved our children with all our hearts, but it helped so much to know each of us marriage partners placed the other first. Being human, we slipped up occasionally, but in general we stuck to this principle except in emergencies.  

Years later our adult children one by one told us our unity and stability reassured them--even when they railed against it. Why? Because it reassured them we planned to stay married.

Your healthy marriage relationship builds lasting strength into your children.

We're all cracked pots--and it's okay 

Nobody's perfect. Years ago author Patsy Clairmont said our "cracks" allow the light of Jesus to shine through us.

So in all our dealings but especially within our marriage and family, let's cut each other some slack. Let's show grace and be quick to forgive and accept each other as yes, imperfect people. And our sons and daughters, too.

Count on it: Your love and mutual forgiveness in the nitty-gritty of daily life will benefit your kids all their lives. It's how we parents most effectively model for our children how Christians are to handle conflict and frustrations. 

Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the spirit through the bond of peace.  Ephesians 4:2-3  NIV

Does the idea of Father's Day dredge up old hurts? 

It's a sad fact that many adults still ache to hear their father say the words, "I love you."    

For generations, men believed whatever they did to provide for their wife and children obviously demonstrated their love loud and clear. The old "Actions speak louder than words" applies here. Many men simply never learned how to express their love. How to say the words. 

Where does this leave you if you're still hurting? Good news, healing is possible, no matter how many years have elapsed--or even if you ever hear those words spoken.  

It means being willing to lay down our battered bundle of pain at the foot of the cross and leave it there. Over and over, if necessary, until finally, we can let it go. We can't heal if we insist on picking it up again.

Jesus Christ fills our empty places with his love and makes us whole.

All of life gets easier when we give up thinking what people should be

Once we leave that judgment behind we can accept each other--and ourselves--as we are.

Love enables us to forgive what's missing.  

Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.  1 Peter 4:8  NIV

The Good News of the Gospel tells us we needn't generate this love on our own:

Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God.  1 John 4:7  ESV

God created only individuals

No specific personality makes us a "good dad" or a "good mom." Neither does one parenting style or the other. It's all about living out love, healthy love that builds strength.

Let's tune out the drone of talking heads and listen to the still, small voice living within us. Leading us. Guiding us. Enabling us.

That voice is the Holy Spirit, Jesus living within our hearts, tenderly telling us, "Love one another as I have loved you."

When that's our standard for parenting, no worries, even if money is tight and our life situations are challenging. In the minds of our children, Dad will be a "good dad" and Mom will be a "good mom," because they will remember the love that ruled our hearts and our home.

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.  1 Corinthians 13:13  NIV

Whatever our situation, let's resolve to rejoice! Even if. Even when. Even though. 

Lenore

Three simple steps to living more happily

Whether we're young or older, life is a continuous learning channel. Have you noticed?

By now I know that some "little" things can make big changes in our lives. Here are three:

1.    Get real.

2.    Get focused.

3.    Get thankful.

Curious? Read on.

1.  Get real

We ought not expect the people around us to be on our wave length. They're individuals, remember?

So it shouldn't surprise us that even people we feel closest to often don't immediately grasp the meaning of what we say to them. And vice versa. This explains why any two people so often talk past each other.

I well remember the first time I gave my husband one of those "poor little me" remarks, thinking my groom would understand and see my point. Instead, he replied, "Honey, you're only disappointed because you expected me to do that and I didn't. But you never asked or even hinted. How was I supposed to know what you wanted?"

Once I got over being annoyed I realized my practical guy was right. Like many women I value spontaneous gestures and like most men, he wasn't wired that way.

A small bit of common sense reminds us that flowery gestures come cheap--and can be empty. A good marriage thrives on honesty, faithfulness and loving through whatever comes. So does any close relationship or friendship. 

Getting real means steering clear of comparisons and if onlys, too. That's harder to do in the face of social media and because we stare at screens so much of the time.

It's time we engrave this on the hard drive of our minds: Except for live interviews and action shots, everything we see on TV or on Facebook, Instagram, and the like has been carefully staged.

(Think about it. Would you post a photo or video depicting your family and yourself in the midst of a bad day?) 

Nevertheless, distractions like TV shows and social media can be enticing traps. We look at what's onscreen and then contemplate our "imperfect" lives and get depressed.

We get depressed because we forget that we see only what they want us to see.

2.  Get focused

Whether we realize it or not, we constantly telegraph--and pick up--messages by what we focus on.

I saw that play out at lunchtime one day. At the next table a dad and his little girl, maybe four years old, were having lunch. Throughout their meal Daddy talked with his daughter and she talked back, with lots of smiles and giggles. He picked her up when they finished and she buried her face in his neck. He carried her out and both were grinning from ear to ear.

Tables around them held other couples and families, everyone engrossed in their smart phones or electronic gadgets and grabbing bites. Nobody smiled and nobody talked to anybody, at least not to any live person sitting at the same table. When they finished eating they simply got up and walked out, still focused on their electronic gadgets. I doubt I could have counted five smiles among that group.

The contrast pained my heart. The daddy and daughter deepened their relationship and enhanced their family's strength and love. The others, the ones who hardly spoke to each other, satisfied their hunger and their curiosity of the moment. Nothing more.

I'll not forget that day because it felt as if I were observing a case study in the ways people interact with others. Or lack of same.

That lunchtime drove home an important truth for me: What and whom we focus on plays a huge part in our moods and how we view our lives.

3.  Get thankful

To simply be thankful can become a habit but for some of us progress may be slow.

For years I've been working to learn the art of tuning my awareness toward the good rather than getting hung up on what I perceive as my life's insufficiencies or annoyances. I don't have it nailed yet, but I've made progress. I see the difference in my moods and outlook on life.

I know now how much it lifts my mood all day if I start by thanking God for what is and ask His strength and blessing for the day.

At bedtime I wrap up the day by thanking the Giver for the good stuff and saying a simple, "Thank you, Lord." Then I commit people I'm concerned about and whatever troubles me to God's loving care. Most of the time that helps me drift off to sleep with a smile.  

As always, the Bible shows us how: 

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.  Philippians 4:6

Casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.  1 Peter 5:7

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.  Philippians 4:8

Once we learn to fix our thoughts on what is real and what is right in our lives and in the people we love, living more happily naturally follows. Instead of scowling and complaining about what's wrong with the world, we can fasten on God's goodness in the midst of it all--and smile.

(Besides, they say smiling helps stave off wrinkles.)

Still learning,

Lenore

How eating together as a family pays lifetime dividends

It's no wonder so many people don't even try to eat together.

Ask busy parents you know and you'll likely hear something like this: "It's too hard to get everyone together--and keep them there. (Sigh.) Our lives are so busy that eating on the run is way easier."

Yet eating together is way more than sitting at a table and consuming food. Sharing a family meal symbolizes what we all long for, a deeper connection with those we love.

Sure, it's quicker to stop for fast food or hit the drive-through. Lots of us eat in our cars. Some of us eat takeout in front of our laptop or TV. In a multitasking life it seems, well, natural. Besides, at the end of a hectic day who wants to cook and clean up? After all, this is 2023.

Look from a different angle. We save time, yes, but we may lose what matters more.

For once, TV models the good stuff

I'm a longtime fan of the long-running hit TV show, "Blue Bloods" and I've always thought the best part of each episode is when their family comes together for Sunday dinner. Some years ago writer David Hitbrand looked into what attracts this show's consistently large audience. Here are a couple of quotes:  

The sentimental majority opinion holds that it's the show's weekly dinner scene, during which four generations of Reagans -- presided over by the patriarch (Len Cariou) -- bicker, spar and celebrate one another.

"That scene is the favorite of so many people," says "Blue Bloods" executive producer, Leonard Goldberg. "Italian people, Jewish people, Greek people -- they all say the same thing: 'That's my family.' "

Perhaps that's because the Reagans do more than eat together

As they prepare the meal and work together, then sit down at their huge dining table, they depict a healthy family in action.

• They do a lot of one-on-one sharing in the kitchen.
• They begin their meals with thanking God for their food and often, for each other.
• They do "celebrate" each other. For any child or adult, there's something really sweet about having another family member praise us in front of the rest.
• They talk and listen to each other with respect, even when they disagree. Younger family members participate, too. Sometimes an adult corrects a youngster or offers a principle to remember.
• They leave the table reminded they are family, they are one.

Families are like branches on a tree. We grow in different directions yet our roots remain as one.  --Anon

Building family bonds in our own homes

I know a couple that early on resolved to eat their evening meal together. They had to work around a crazy schedule, but were committed to staying tuned-in to how their children viewed their world. (You may be thinking, Aren't we all?)

Once they had talked it through they kicked off sharing daily "highs" and "lows" over dinner, not at all sure how it would come out. The basic premise was that each family member would name their best and worst points of the day--in as much detail as they liked. Mom and Dad spoke their joys and concerns, too--with discretion.

These normal children sometimes protested and could be moody or quiet. "Some nights they'd say, 'recess' for both their high and their low," the father says with a smile. "We never tried to talk them out of it because they lived their day at school, not us.

"We learned to listen with more sensitive ears and not jump in right away with advice or admonishment. Often it seemed nothing happened, but over time those highs and lows proved a wonderful tool. The proof of that is that when our children grew into adolescence they took over reminding us anytime we forgot to build in highs and lows. Now any time they come home on vacation they insist we get right back into it over dinner. 

"Over the years our conversations became more meaningful and so did our prayers. Without question this daily sharing strengthened the love and closeness within our family."

No skills training needed

Just start--and be patient with yourselves. Aim to gather everyone around for one meal of every day, whichever works best for you. Keep it fancy or plain, serve sandwiches or steak, your choice--and yes, takeout or DoorDash is okay. Whatever works best for your family.

It helps to remember the goal is simply to establish a routine that helps draw your family closer. The resulting sense of connectedness can melt away a lot of strain.

(By the way, it works well for wives and husbands, too.)

Let love be your motivation and count on the love of God to make it grow. It's as the Apostle Paul wrote to his friends:

May the Lord make your love increase and overflow for each other and for everyone else, just as ours does for you.1 Thessalonians 3:12-13  NIV

Or take Mother Teresa to heart: 

"What can you do to promote world peace? Go home and love your family."

Blessings to you,

Lenore 

Love, love, love ... Don't let the magic seep away!

Do you remember the sparkle of when you first fell in love?

You couldn't stop smiling because you knew a secret: Somebody loved you!

It felt magical. Your somebody "got you," seemed to understand you. You felt better about yourself and about life and the future.

"Happily ever after" all at once seemed attainable and you wanted it.  

Then came reality. Making a life together dimmed the dream and those secret smiles faded. Life's daily demands seemed to smoosh out the joy of being together. 

One thing about sharing a life is it strips away illusions and "little quirks" begin to feel like a permanent pebble in one's shoe. Recitals of "This is what drives me crazy about you" come up so frequently that they can sound like a battle cry. 

Sometimes a couple reaches the point where it seems that's all that's left between them.     

Children can provide a smoke screen

Many parents sincerely want their children to feel absolutely secure in their parents' love. They aim to make home the place where never is heard a discouraging word and the clapping for each child's achievements, big or small, never stops.

Their personal conversations revolve around their child or children because, well, what could be more worthwhile? 

The problem is this can suck up all their energy and concentration, leaving only leftovers for their marriage relationship. Eventually one or both discovers that it is possible to feel all alone, even while surrounded by the noisy hubbub of family life.

When happens between this husband and wife when their children grow up and move on to lives of their own? What will they have left between them?    

Perhaps only then do they dare to look deeper into their hearts. One or both spouses may feel there's not enough love and mutual desire to rebuild their relationship, so why bother to try?  

Many marriage counselors now believe this accounts for the high divorce rates among older adults, a.k.a., "gray divorce."  

One wise older friend observed, "Divorce? Never! What I've noticed is that whatever their ages, every new couple has to adjust and work through the same basic issues. Why would I want to go through all that again? 

Ways to short-circuit all that angst

Married or single, once in awhile it's good to stop what we're doing for a moment and really think about our life.

What do we as human beings need, especially from a marriage partner? Here's one good definition: 

Someone who values us for who we are.

One who sees our good qualities--as well as our flaws.

A person who loves us just as we are. Period.

Most brides and grooms believe they've found just that. As the years pass it may get fogged over, but most likely, it's still there.  

No better time exists to recover what you had. Find a setting that works for you both. Long lunches at a favorite place. Date nights. Periodic weekends for the two of you. Whatever brings back your smiles. The point is to have time to concentrate on each other without interruption.

Once in awhile talk about the three points mentioned above and explore together how close you come to giving each other this kind of love. 

From there move on to how do we make this our reality?

This is not meant to be a tedious examination. Rather, think of it as staying current on what your partner needs now. (People change, you know.) Brainstorm how you can work together to make your marriage stronger and more fun.

A simple practice that can change a marriage

One friend says what keeps them close is always reconnecting when they come home from work. They've made it their family practice to provide a snack ready for hungry kids and permit them to watch an agreed-upon (rare) TV program. In other words, make it a reward for everyone. 

Then she and her husband adjourn to a quiet corner and talk about their day. For half an hour or so they change off listening as the other one talks. They hug and cuddle. Often they pray together.

In those few moments the daily tensions fade and they remember again who they are.  

Once again they are two people in love who are for each other, no matter what. 

By then their youngsters will have calmed down from their day, too.

Only then do they start prepping their evening meal. Will dinner be a bit late? Yes. Will there be homework waiting? Probably.

But nobody minds, because everyone is more relaxed.

Her advice? "This precious daily treat costs nothing, but it means everything to my husband and me. It enables us to reconnect and remember that we can handle whatever comes because we have each other. Our kids don't say so very often but we know they like it, too. They've even told us it helps them know that we'll stay married."

Good advice for every one of us 

Reconnecting--with people we love and with God--is essential if we're to hang on to joy and live fully the life He has given us.

When a youngster's mom and dad make time for each other they model how to make a marriage thrive and keep love alive.

Another important lesson kids learn is they are not the center of the universe.

That's an indispensable aid to navigating smoothly in the world at any age, whether at school or when they live apart from dear old Mom and Dad.

For individuals who live alone, many of the same principles apply. It's well worth the effort to put time and effort into developing and nurturing friendships and spending time together. The friendship and love of others enrich one's life. Period.

Love grows and people grow

One more factor enters in and that's faith in God. When that's the foundation on which we build, we build on bedrock that can stand firm despite the winds and storms life throws at us. If you're looking for Truth to keep you strong, here's are some verses well-loved by many:  

Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God.  1 John 4:7

Let all that you do be done in love.   1 Corinthians 16:14

With all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love ... Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.  Ephesians 4:2, 32

Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins.   1 Peter 4:8

So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.   1 Corinthians 13:13

With love and prayers for you, my friend,

Lenore